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“Hitchy”
205
"And the first big mark to come sailing down the aisle was Ambassador Gerard.
“ ‘Hello, Jim. How’s your excellency ?’ I sang out, and gripped him; and the little old show was on and ‘over’ — thanks to Georgie.”
"Did you make him a partner for that?’’
"No! George isn’t my partner — he’s my friend. I couldn’t do anything for him for that. I couldn’t even pay his board bill at the hotel.”
“Have you ever been broke?”
"What do you call this — being eighty thousand in the hole!”
"I mean actually broke.”
“Yes. A month ago in New York I got up without a nickel in my pockets — without a nickel in the world. And I’d had a pretty good return from my Fulton Theater that week, too. ‘Words and Music’ had lost only twenty-three dollars. It was the best week the Fulton had had under my management.
"Well, as I say, not a nickel to my name that day. And there I was in my Packard limousine, with two men up — a driver and a whatyoumaycallem. And two honest sons of toil with lunch pails see me in my limousine and say right out so I can hear it:
" ‘Pretty soft for that guy !’
"That got me. I called ’em. ‘Hey, you!’ says I. ‘Come here!’ And I told ’em I didn’t have a nickel, and had to feed those strong men on the front seat and keep them from worrying about anything in the world.
“ ‘I envy you,’ I says to the working fellows — ‘I envy you your wages, and your paid-for lunch in the pails, and the way you can look your wife in the eye when you go home — not to mention the corner grocer.’ ”