Actorviews (1923)

236 Actorviews “It’s the best one in the piece. I — ahem — myself gave him one for the second act. I must go around and hear it.” “Which one?” she inquired with flattering interest. “The one about the man who owed another a thousand jackasses and went to his creditor and offered Ed Wynn in payment.” “I don’t recall it. What’s the answer to that riddle?” “The creditor says : ‘You’ll have to call some other day ; I can’t change that.’ ” It was my acid test for humor Number Two — although heaven is witness that I had not submitted it for a test. And she did not say, “Yes, go on with the rest ; I’ve got you so far.” She laughed as gleefully as I had laughed the first time — or was it the second? — I heard it; and said: “Why, that’s a fine joke — absolutement! Why doesn’t he use it? And it’s on himself. What could be better? But perhaps he thinks it’s subtle. I love subtle things. I love only one thing that isn’t subtle.” “What’s that?” “Youth. Youth isn’t subtle. I love Stephen Leacock and Gilbert Chesterton and some of Meredith, but I love youth, too. Sometimes I think that some day I’ll fall terribly in love with the sheer youth of some lad, and then ” Her gesture implied that it would smite her hardest at the nape of her lovely neck. “But then,” she went on, “I never could stand a man that liked himself. And all men do — young or old. That’s probably why I shall never really love any man.”