The Cine Technician (1943 - 1945)

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38 THE CINE-TECHNICIAN March— April, 1943 STRAWS IN THE HAIR by SCREENCOMBER of the " Kinemato graph Weekly " Editor Baiting Suspense is not the only weapon recommended for driving editors crazy — crazier — for in time the suspense of waiting for the " Screencomber " copy to arrive ceases to induce the nervous prostration so desirable in these cases. The victim becomes inured to the uncertainty and eventually adopts a fatalistic attitude to life in general and ' Screencomber " copy in particular. This is just the time to come back at him with the unexpected. Copy is suddenly slammed in sharp on schedule, or, better and more telling still, before time. The subject is immediately laid low with shock and becomes a shivering, shaking, nerve-shattered mess. From then on his worries are multiplied, for he has to wrestle with the problem of whether he is now dealing with a reformed character who will henceforth hand his stuff in on the dot or whether if it is merely a flash in the pan — an oversight. The ingenious editor-torturer will, with fiendish cunning, lull his victim into a sense of false security by delivering on the dot for the next month or so. The editor becomes a changed man. A burden is lifted from his shoulders. Wrinkles and dark circles under the eyes disappear. He goes around slapping producers affectionately on the back, begging them not to mention such embarrassing subjects as overtime or rises. So, having lulled him into a state of ecstatic happiness and freedom from care — wham ! You slap him down again and start handing your.dope in just when he has come to the conclusion that he'll never see it again and the paper has gone to press without it. This month's copy was handed in on time! Look out for next month's thrilling instalment of " With Elvin to Colney Hatch." Metaphorically Speaking Speaking at a recent meeting, Tom O'Brien put the whole thing in a bombshell when he said : . . . . they threw the cat among the pigeons and created a thorn that will have repercussions all over the place." He omitted to add that this wolf in sheep's clothing after behaving like a bull in a china shop immediately adopted a dog in the manger attitude by accusing them of flogging a red herring after the stable door was locked. While no-one wants to buy a pig in a poke, that has broken the last straw. We would do well to leave no stone unturned in glass houses and after having lashed ourselves to the mast and set our hand bo the plough we must weather the storm secure in the knowledge that a rolling stone will not kill two birds in the bush. Hints to a Star Be kind, little star, to the make-up man .X^ v Or he won't help you improve your pan, And the lighting lad, as you ought to know, Can make your dial look like a lump of dough. So he nice, if you please, to the camera gm B Or they might show the public you've got crosseyes. He's a lad 'mong your friends you want to count on Or he'll make that mole look like a mountain : And before saying rude things your lip you should button — The cutter's reply can be much more cuttin'.