The New York Clipper (November 1903)

DRAMATIC. VAUDEVILLE. CIRCUS. "*"»*'■« «—«,«,, c„„„ (L ss Founded by FRANK QUEEN, 1863. NEW YORK, NOYEMBER 7, 1903. H155 CKpp^r'5 0OXCIBNING STIGE FOLK and Sometimes OTHERS B7 JOSEPHINE GEO. Two recently told Dockstade r stories: This merry minstrel star was cross!Qg from Jer- sey City to New Tork on one of the ferry boats that steam over the Hudson between these two cities. In conversation with two of the deck men Dockstader questioned them concerning* the speed of the boat they were on. I say," aald the Englishman, "If I can be of any service to you. dear boy, I shall be Pleased. I've acted in amateur perform- ancee, y' know, so I'm not entirely green on the italge. I'll go on tonight If you'll re- hearse me a bit" Dockstader was only too glad to have hli remnant of a company Increased by even one, ao during the afternoon he put the English- man through some of the stage business, and rehearsed Mm In the jokes that he was to perpetrate upon the audience that night. VOLUME Ll.-No. 37. Prloe 10 Cents. them. In examining them she discovered one upon which was written three peculiar sentences, which was not, like the rest of the writing. In the hsnd of her small boy. Upon Inquiry she found that the literary effort was the work of a boy classmate, a little East aide fellow, who had recently been transferred to the school Bobble at- tended. The character of the email compo- sition fully Illustrates the vernacular of the locality whence the new scholar had come. Bobble explained that the teacher had In A guest of the hotel, who had evidently made too many visits to the neighboring bar room, had mislaid bis overcoat. He mado complaint at the desk, at the same time protesting Ms belief that some one had stolon It. White calling down upon the head of the supposed thief all sorts of 111 wlalioe the half Intoxicated man happened to glance at the register, noticing the names there. Even Ms temporary clouded Intellect seemed to he struck by them as he repeated them aloud—"Maybe Obee Hassltt." At this the owner of the second name, Obee, jumped up from the desk at which he had been sitting, a listener to the Intoxicated one's remarks. He approached the man and proceeded to resent the accusation. The clerk, however, oulcky set maltors to right This boat can go twenty-three miles an hour" waa the reply. "Twenty-three miles an hour—I can't be- lieve It!" exclaimed Dockstader, with well simulated astonishment, bnt with a look In his eye that any friend of his would know that he was about to spring a joke or a pun. "Weil, It's true, Just the same," said one of the men, In an Injured tone, apparently hurt because his word had been discredited. "Why don't you believe It, Mr. Dockstader?" "Because it's a ferry story," answered the minstrel with a straight face, but a twinkle in his eye. But the doll wltted man aaw only the straight face, as be walked away to attend to some deck duty that required no quickness of mind: As Dockstader, a few minutes later, was passing him on his way across the gang plank, the man touched the minstrel's arm, apologetically, and said: "Honestly, Mr. Dockstader, this boat does raake twenty-three miles an hour." This popular minstrel star relates one of the many little stories that are "on" the Englishman, reputed to be alow In bis ap- preciation of the American Joke. While tonrlng the West a part of Ms com- P»ny was snowbound, and be was obliged to rive a performance In a town with the men he bad with him. At the hotel be came across an Englishman who was visiting friends who lived there. In the course of conversation the manager mentioned the fact of bla being -'abort banded" is to bis per- fornrtre. Among them was that good old perennial chestnut about the "dog and bis pants." Even though betraying his British ac- cent, the Englishman acquitted himself fairly well, nnder cover of "burnt cork," until it came time to spring the dog-and-pants Joke. "I beg pawdon, Sir," he said to the inter- locutor, "but do you mind telling me why the dog is one of the most peculiar animals in the world 7" "I'm sure I don't know," said the Inter- locutor, who was not expected to know, "you tell,—why la the dog the most peculiar ani- mal In the world 1" "Because," replied the Englishman, "hie Inngs are the seat o( his trousers." Mrs. Owen Westford, who Is a sister of Lillian Russell. Is slso the proud mother of a bright nine-year-old boy. A ffw morn- ings ago, while she waa strapping op Bob Junior's scbtfol tftttka, tome pipers fsTI from one of their lessons given tbe class some words to put Into sentences. Tbe East aide boy's work evidently appealed to the humor of tbe Weat side boy, who bad brought It home for the appreciation of bis family. Tbe words to be incorporated In sentences had been demand, deliver, defraud, devote and delight. Bobble's classmate bad written: "De men byed de liver by de butcher." "De trend didn't git de vole." "De light went out." Richard Obee, a most efficient member of Jules Murry's clever staff, sends the follow- ing story, Illustrating one of the juxtaposi- tions hli peculiar name frequently cornea Into with that of others. Sadie Hartlsot's company, wblcb Obee was representing, was playing an engagement In Ottawa. Three of the names registered on the hotel book at tbe Russell wars Frank Maybe, firebird OBee, A. F. Haultt by explanations that saved what might have been a lively acene In tbe hotel office. Apropos of stories about names, a little one concerning William Collier la going the rounds. It savors of that one of recent telling —the Chauncey Olcott-Depew tale. A Una looking elderly gentleman, whose cloth proclaimed his calling, was a passen- ger on a Brooklyn street car. He had paid his fare on entering, but a few minutes later the conductor, forgetting the fact, made a second demand for It. "I paid you once," was tbe reply of tbe ministerial personage. "No, you didn't," was tbe Impolite reply of tbe conductor. "Indeed, Sir, I gave yon my fare once, and I decline to pay a second time," said the passenger firmly. "My name is Rer. Robert Collyer, and " "I don't care If you were even Willie Collier," said the conductor, "you can't ride free." William Collier, now playing In "A Fool rind Ills Money," at tbe Bijou Theatre, was at one time rehearsing a scene tn which one of the actors failed to get Into tbe "busi- ness" of one of the scenes. Collier repeat- edly went over It with him, and, at laat, in- patient at tbe young man's stupidity, spoke more sharply than usual. , "You should never talk tbat way to an actor," retorted tbe man, hurt at Collier's sharp rebuke. "I never do" was Collier's cutting reply.