Exhibitors Herald World (Oct-Dec 1929)

October 5, 1929 EXHIBITORS HERALD-WORLD 63 J. C. Jenkins — His Colyum PORTLAND, ORE., September 22, 1929. DEAR HERALD-WORLD: Portland people say they can't understand why anybody would want to live in Seattle, and Seattle folks look upon Portland as just a place to stop and get hot dogs and gas when on their way to the Puget Sound country, and Los Angeles says they are both crazy and should have a guardian. What puzzles us is why Lewis and Clark traveled clear across Iowa and Nebraska and came out to this country to locate their homesteads in a land where you have to change your B. V. D.'s for heavy underwear every 30 minutes. We have been in this Pacific slope country for about three weeks, and the only evidence that the sun ever shines out here is the statement of some of the oldest inhabitants that they have seen it, but none of 'em can remember just when it was. When Seattle wakes up of a morning and finds the fog has lifted so they can see their way to the garage, they ring up their climatic press agents and tell 'em to get busy and step hard on the climatic stuff, and Portland is longing for the rainy season to set in to put out the forest fires and do away with the smoke so tourists can see Mt. Hood and the new Burnsides bridge. But what we would like to see right now is a Berkshire sow full of good, yellow Nebraska corn and get a breath of Nebraska ozone that makes a man want to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning and hunt for a wildcat to give him exercise before breakfast. If we perambulate for a couple or three weeks more in this fog and rain, our rheumatism will demand a couple of crutches and a wheel chair. We can feel our bones commencing to growl right now, and the bunions on our dogs feel like an overripe carbuncle on a Chicago bootlegger's neck. It will be mighty unpopular out here for anyone to intimate that this isn't the Garden of Eden, but until they show us some fig leaves as evidence, we are going to have our doubts about it. When we get down to Los Angeles, we expect they will try to fill us so full of this "climatic" stuff that we will have to take a strong drink as a back-fire measure. * * * Through the courtesy of the local manager of RKO we were privileged to witness Betty Compson in "THE STREET GIRL" at the Capitol theatre, and while we are not going to attempt a review of this picture, we wish to say that it ranks well up with the best we have witnessed in some days and is worthy of a showing in any theatre. We also saw William Boyd in "THE LEATHERNECK," and we have applied every known rule to try and determine just why this picture was made and have to give it up. We have resorted to trigonometry and calculus, we read the Koran, we applied Christian Science and re-read the Declaration of Independence and the Democratic platform, but to no avail, then we concluded it was another example of high finance where they take your money and give you whatever they damplease, and so we let it go at that. If "THE LEATHERNECK" is a good picture, then the Pacific slope hasn't seen a fog in 30 years. There were six adults and five kids (by actual count) who saw the picture at the first show, and we felt sorry for 'em, so sorry, in fact, that we got up and left before the agony was over. But getting back to Lewis and Clark, we are glad they came out here and opened up this country so Iowa and Nebraska would have a place to go and spend their loose cash that they make raising the produce to feed the world. (There now, every Pacific slope booster who reads this will want to take a shot at us, but our hide is so full of holes now that they will have to use pumpkins for bullets to even touch us.) Should any of the readers of this Colyum (in case there should be any) be halting between two opinions as to whether the talking pictures will live or die, we would refer them to an article under the caption, "A REAL TAIL ON A BRONZE BULL," by Welford Beaton, appearing in the Saturday Evening Post under date of September 21. If for no other reason, Mr. Beaton is to be commended for the bold position he has assumed in this article. Living as he does right in the heart of the producing end of talking pictures, he takes a stand against this form of entertainment that those of less daring would hesitate to take. If you will read this article, you may find it interesting for many reasons. That with the coming of talking pictures, many theatres have closed, no person with a knowledge of the facts can deny. That hundreds of other theatres will be forced to close unless some relief is given in the way of cheaper film prices is equally true, and it remains to be seen whether or not the industry can educate the public away from an art that has built the industry to the tremendous proportions it possesses today. Maybe it can be done. Mr. Beaton doubts it, and there are two of us. * * * We understand there is a fight on here in Portland by several houses against the demands of the projectionists' union. We know nothing of the merits of the case, but we are told that a peculiar and unusual thing has occurred that is causing no little merriment in union circles. It seems that two downtown houses, the Capitol and the Circle, have their places picketed. We are told that the Circle management was the first to take up the fight, and the Capitol followed suit in an agreement to fight the demands of the union along with several other houses, and it seems that the union picketed the Capitol but did not picket the Circle, the one that started the rumpus. When the management of the Capitol found that the Circle wasn't picketed, they threatened to withdraw from the agreement unless the Circle was also picketed, so it is said that the Circle hired its own picket and the public is now advised that the Capitol and Circle are unfair to union labor. We don't know whether the projectionist boys framed this up or not, but it is a good joke on somebody, and the union boys don't seem to think it is on them. When we get to Hollywood, which will be about the time this gets in print, we are going to ask Polly Moran and Louise Fazenda to assist us in selecting a name for our car from the list of names sent in, and if the three of us can't agree, we will call in Marie Dressier and Kate Price to settle the matter, for we simply must have a name — the matter has been delayed altogether too long already. We hope the girls won't be out to some quilting bee or putting on a whoopee party when we get there, for we want to get this matter off ourjnind —it is simply wearing us down to a shadow. J. C. JENKINS, The HERALD-WORLD man. P. S.— The HERALD-WORLD COVERS the field LIKE an April SHOWER.