Film Fun (1928 - 1942 (assorted issues))

“You know, Arnold, my wife is a little dear, but she’s forever using my perfume!” Be a Writer and Make Millions OAYE you, dear reader, ever tried 1 1 to write pieces for magazines? You must get busy right now. It’s a perfectly marvelous way to make a livfng. Of course, you don’t make much money. But you get lots of mail every day. And it helps you reduce household expenses. * Take my case: Last week the apartment needed repapering. An ordinary job would have cost a lot of money. So I saved money by doing it myself, for I had plenty of material. Now every room is de¬ lightfully papered with thousands of little squares of brown paper, about two inches by five inches. It’s really a very unique effect. If you look closely at the little square, you will see printed on each one: Page SO “Film Fun thanks you for submitting the enclosed mate¬ rial and regrets that it is not available for use in this pub¬ lication.” This morning the cat sharpened his claws on the wall and ruined one of the little squares. But repairs will cost nothing. I’ll simply send this in and get another little square, for only one round-trip stamp. — Chet Johnson. Note to Editor: The part about the cat ruining the wall, of course, is pure fiction, so you can buy this instead of bothering to send back one of those little slips. Editor’s Note: Better guys than you have been shot for less than this. We Had a Lovely Time “V/f Y dear, you simply must see the souvenirs we brought back with us from the Holy Land. Henry, bring us that bottle of River Jordan water and be sure and shake it up well — the mud settles to the bottom so. Yes, I think it’s a beau¬ tiful thing to have, although I do think Henry should have put it in another kind of bottle. When I think of what’s been in that flask! Henry, you simply must change it. There’s a nice vinegar bottle in the basement. And that reminds me. Henry bought a small bottle of the miracle wine at Cana, but when he opened it up it had changed back to water again. Henry was terribly angry but he said he guessed the custom officers would have gotten it, anyway. “Yes, we did have some nails from the cross but we decided they weren’t genuine and one day Henry used them to fix the basement steps. You know, there were so many of those nails offered for sale that I think the Jews must have used the cross as the Germans did that fright¬ ful wooden statue of Von Hindenburg. Oh, dear, I had so many things that I can’t find now. I picked up a stone on the Mount of Olives, but Henry threw it at the cat one night and I was never able to find it. I picked some olives there, too, but I served them one evening when the minister was here for dinner. Oh, I have one lovely thing — a leaf from the tree Judas hanged himself on. Let’s see. I used that for a bookmark some¬ where. Henry, go to the bookcase and see if it’s in ‘Three Weeks.’ “Oh, yes. Here’s the jawbone of the donkey Samson used to kill the thousand Philistines. Henry swears up and down it’s genuine but I don’t know what to think. There’s a hole in it that does look something like a drinking fountain. Anyway, it came from the Holy Land and you never can tell. “Well, at times I believe the trip did Henry a lot of good. If it hadn’t been for that stopover in Paris on the way back. . . — Paul S. Powers <xX> The other night we almost found out what the last thing is a woman takes off before going to bed; but we missed it, missed it by a shade.