Film Fun (July 1915)

And thim gurrels pourin’ into th’ fair, thinkin’ to make their forchunes in a few months, landin’ good jobs thot was took long before th’ fair opened. “I see a slip of a gurrel this mornin’ come walkin’ troo th’ grounds, lookin’ this way and that, at th’ sights. She was a slim young bit of a thing, and I kape me eye peeled for any throuble from thim bad ones. Faith, it wasn’t long till I spy a bowld bucko walk up to her wid a silly grin and begin a conversation wid her, as bowld as brass. ’Twus a quare-lookin’ masher he was, wid rags failin’ off him; but that sure of himsilf he was, that he takes howld of the gurrel and thries to kiss her, before me very eyes ! And wud I stand fer thot, d’ye think, and me wid two as pretty young daughters at home as ye’d meet in a day’s journey? I picks up me billy and I walks up wid a jaunty stride to thim. “ ‘None o’ thot, me brave bucko,’ I ses, fetchin’ him a welt wid me stick. ‘Ye’ll kiss the fut of th’ cap fer thot,’ I ses. ‘Tis a pity,’ I ses, ‘that a young gurrel may not take a sthroll troo th’ place airly in th’ mornin’ widout a flock av ye afther her, ’ I ses. “ ‘’Tis so, yeidjutl’ sesth’ mate to th’ fir-rst masher, runnin’ up to mix in. ‘Will ye kape yer hands off this’ “ ‘I will so,’ I ses, obligin’ th’ new one wid a wallop on th’ jaw that stretched him on th’ cobblestones. ‘I’ll kape me hands off him long enough to give thim a taste of yer jaw,’ I ses. ‘Lay there, ye omadhaun, and riccolict that I’m th’ majesty av th’ law.’ “‘Thrue, yer majesty,’ ses th’ slip of a gurrel, turnin’ on me wid a flash in her eye I’d not noticed be¬ fore. ‘And d’ye take notice how th’ majesty of th’ law hasruint th’ pitchure?’ she winton, ‘and us but a bunch of poor sthrollin’ picture-play actors,’ she ses, ‘thryin’ to git th’ wur-rk done up before th’ heat av th’ day?’ she yells. ‘Salaam, yer majesty, and will ye be good enough to mind yer own business and arrist thim that nades it? Go on wid ye fora blundherin’ fool!’ she ses. ‘D’ye not see the man wid th’ crank yondher?’ “ ‘ ! ! ! ! !!!!!’ screeches a man be a three legged implement in th’ distance, he doin’ a quarelookin’ dance at th’ time. “ ‘May th’ divil fly away wid ye!’ I ses, pickin’ up Another Portrait of Charlie THE portrait of Charlie Chaplin, the most popular of motion-picture co¬ medians, on the cover of this num¬ ber of FILM FUN, will please every fan. The next number of FILM FUN — the August issue — will have for a cover an¬ other picture of Charlie, showing him in a different character. Readers of this number should make sure to get the next number, which will be full of amus¬ ing and interesting pictures and text. 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