The international photographer (Jan-Dec 1934)

Fourteen The INTERNATIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER December, 1934 CINEMACARONI «•% By Robert Tobey {With sauce for those who like it.) 'J HOLLYWOOD HONEYMOON A novel novel of a thousand and one nights in a dace. by R. THRIT1S The Characters: Lili Liverblossom, ravishingly beautiful; the bright particular star of Flamboyant Films, Limited. Perriwether Murgle, Lili's press agent, and not a little in love with Lili. Hiram von Willeze, former famous director, now trying to stage a comeback. That's all we have in the line of characters so far. But don't be discouraged. We'll have this thing looking like a Busby Berkeley ensemble before many chapters have bitten the dust. And it won't be all done with wires and mirrors. Synopsis of preceding chapters. So little has happened it hardly seems worth while mentioning this. But if you insist, here goes. Lili is afraid Olga Bcndova, Russian actress, "drill get the screen part she covets, so she tells Perri to work out a publi ity stunt to draw attention to her. Perri suggests marriage with von Willeze. He puts Lili on the mantelpiece and leaves by sliding down the drainpipe. Now, grab the handlebars and pedal from here by yourself. CHAPTER 11. Murgle Hangs On. Sliding down the drain pipe outside the tenstory apartment house where lived the delicious Lili Live, blossom, Murgle was very much disconcerted to find that the drainpipe stopped half way down. Perri followed suit. The next three tricks were his. Then he cautiously laid down the King of Diamonds. It was promptly trumped. "Bosh," said Perri. "This isn't getting me anywhere." And he was right. All he was getting was tired from hanging onto the pipe. How was he to get out of such a predicament? Just then the screech of an eagle rent the air. Perri was a litle startled to hear an eagle scream in the heart of Hollywood. Then he remembered — it was Saturday. A spark of hope glimmered in Perri's breast. Fanning it cautiously he soon had a roaring blaze out of it. And with good reason, too. Not for nothing had Perri attained the rank of Eagle in the Boy Scouts! Memories of the old Eagle Call were coming back to him. Could he do it? Could be give the Eagle's mating call? His life hung in the balance! He cupped both hands to his mouth; faintly at first, then swelling to a tremendous crescendo, the terrible, shrill mat'ng call of the Eagle rang out on the March air. The last echo had not yet died away before tremendous wings beat the air, and around the corner of the building on two wheels wheeled a huge eagle, the biggest Perri had ever seen. Perri stopped in the act of whipping up another good screech. The eagle looked at him in amazement, not to mention some rather keen disappointment. "Sorry, old timer," said Perri contritely, "I didn't mean to dash your hopes, you know." The eagle hissed a little, but mastered his chagrin and with his chin up started to wheel back around the corner, a tear trembling on his eyelid. After all, eagles are pretty scarce these days. And that screech had held such rosy promises! "Just a minute, old timer," called out Perri. "I was hoping you would help out a brother Eagle. I'm a litle tired of hanging onto this p:pe. Could you help a pal out with the price of a cup of cof — " He caught himself and smiled sheepishly. "1 mean, would you give me a lift to the ground?" The eagle looked at Perri peevishly. "Don't keep calling me 'old timer'," he snapped. "I'm really quite young. Just big for my age, that's all." He started to preen a little, but sideslipped slightly and lost alttiude. With as much dignity as he could muster he flew back up to Perri's level. "You are very good-looking, you know," said Perri ingratiatingly. "You have a nice husky build. And your wing-movement is almost a poem of rhythm." The eagle coughed deprecatingly. "1 must get my stomach down, though," he said. "1 reallv don't exercise enough. Life is too simple these days with so many chicken coops around. We eagles used to have to fight for our meals. Now I well remember — " Perri saw visions of long reminiscence. He felt a nail pull out of the dra.npipe braces and realized that something must be done soon. "If you don't mind my interrupting your story for a minute," said Perri hesitantly, "I'd sort of like to get away from here. One becomes so provincial after a few hours of this. Do you mind transporting me to the ground before we go on with the conversation?" "I do mind. And I do mind," screamed the eagle, not content to answer both remarks at once. "It's very rude of you to interrupt. And I don't know that I care to carry you to the ground. You're a pretty heavy dish, you know." He cocked his head on one side and eyed Murgle speculatively. (Will the eagle take pity on Perri ? Or -will he desert him in his hour of need. And what zvill happen to Lili — is she still on the mantelpiece? Order next mouth's issue NOW!) Mad Hattie thinks a prop man is the guy that holds up the walls on a movie set. HERE COMES THE GROOM BABY TAKES A BOW On a theatre marquee : # * * Thus, modernity! NRA is nmv limiting the number of matches that can be given azvay with the purchase of cigarettes or cigars. No .doubt they are also considering discontinuing the dispensation of free toothpicks in. public dining rooms. I'm for them. I always did think that the customary dusty toothpick bcrwl took a little of tie polish off a place. L was constantly expecting to come across a restaurant that would ask you to leave your false teeth and have them cleaned free. Hesitancy Will never hoist you to the presitancy. AMAZING CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIAL PROGRESS A despatch from EI Paso states that Mayor Eugenio Prado of Chihuahua City, in an effort to safeguard public morals, has decreed that couples found conversing in parks and other public places after 10 P. M. will have to get married. Police officers have instructions to take such couples to the civil registrar's office for the ceremony. * * * No excuses go. You can't say you've been up all night trying to pronounce the name of the place. * * * So if your gal just won't say yes, rush her off t'i Chihuahua City and spend the evening on a park bench discussing the relative merits of Culbertson and Lenz. Set your watch back an hour ami ///< eminent Excellency the Mayor will do the rest. You can be as surprised as you please. * * * It doesn't matter if you're under the age of consent. But it cents double against you if you're under the bench. * * * They ring in children under twelve for half fare. * * * If they catch a couple alreadv married they're fined for petty larceny. Taking the Mayor's toys away from him. * * * Grandpop Prado ought to start his little fad m Hollyrvood. Consider his embarrassment at finding every man sitting on a bench with someone else's wife. His Excellency would have to wrap up his red face, go home and starting thinking up another whiz. Fay Wrav is the latest to join in our little game of GEEVASENTENCE. Problem: GEEVASENTENCE with the word torso. And Fay says: "Someone dropped a ball on my foot and it made my torso." # * * ! ! LITTLE THOUGHT FOR TODAY: What with NRA, SERA. AAA. CCC. SAPFT, RFC and similar nifties sprouting all over the country, the Christmas turkey this year will probably be found stuffed with alphabet dressing. Sign in a Hollywood Art Shop window BARGAIN SUPREME! ONLY 39c Framed Picture Prints VALUES THAT STAND OUT! * * * Like a sore thumb! THE MACARONI BOWL— Hot Notes from Palm Springs * * * The El Mirador Hotel, filmdom's favorite desert play spot in the winter time, opened last month. Tne weather was ideal and masses of fluffy clouds made the place a cameraman's paradise. * * * Kodaked as you went were Nancy Carroll with Howard Hughes of "Hell's Angels" fame, Carl Brisson and his wife, Lola Lane and Al Hall and a bunch of other celebs * * * There was an exhibition of diving and swimming. Eleanor Holm was among those to perform. That girl is a poem of grace in the water. Arthur Jarret was there to cheer her on, even though he is her husband * * * Carl Brisson brought his 16-mm camera along and had his eye up to the finder all through the events * * * After the water show was over, Brisson gave out some pretty nice examples of diving himself * * * Caught Al Hall in the evening explaining how he achieved some of the fine scenes with Shirley Temple in "Little Miss Marker" * * * The town of Palm Springs is all broken out with an epidemic of rickshaws this year * * * But the hoys that pull them walk instead of running like the Chinese coclies * * * And saying "chop-chop" won't make them move any faster * * * They must all be vegetarians * * * Howard Hughes loves to fly over the town doing vertical banks in his plane so he can look down and see what's going on * * * Bebe Daniels and Mrs. Skects Gallagher established a branch of their Westwocd "American Maid" gown shop in the Springs this year and in the way of shops, nothing more interesting and original have I never seen nohow. Lt is all designed in the manner of a yacht, and it has to be seen to be appreciated. The final touch is door knobs fashioned like tiller wheels and a real ship's clock that tolls thrice at ha' past one and eiglW tunes at four, in the approved but mystifying fashion of the seen. The only rub is that if all the customers were like me they'd overlook the merchandise and want to buy the furnishings. * * * Keep your tin helmets on these days. The annual Community Chest drive is in again, and the blackjacks are out. * * * Shakespeare said well, through Portia, that "the quality of mercy is not strained." Silly Sally thinks a "bit" player is one that has been working in dog pictures. Constance Cummings is returning to America— she is going to star on the legitimate stage on Broadway, where she formerly was a chorus girl. It must be real fun to return as a star to the place where you were once only one of the hired help. But it has its disappointments, too. You may find that all those people whose teeth you've been longing to kick in, have detachable plates. CALIFORNIA CROAK Sprinkle, sprinkle, gentle rain, You give the Chamber of Commerc e a pain. In Tokyo, Police Sergeant Juei Honda's pilot car led Emperor Hirohito and his procession off the prearranged course of travel, causing inconvenience to the Emperor to the extent of twenty minutes delay. Honda attempted suicide by slashing his throat. The Governor and other officials of the State in which the terrible offense occurred, are expected to resign. The National M:nister in change of poh'ce affairs mav be compelled to vacate his position. How different from our attitude ;n this country. But Japan's a pretty small place, and maybe they don't have much time over there. Hitlerized epigram: Evil be to him ivho even thinks. FAMOUS FINALES Papa, why does Santa Claus always kiss mama after he gets through filling up the stockings? The italics are mine! DUST LIGHTLY WITH NUTMEG. 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