Motion Picture Herald (Apr-Jun 1931)

52 MOTION PICTURE HERALD June 2 7, 1931 J. C Jenkins— His Colyum Rochester, Minn. DEAR HERALD: Last week we wanted to tell you about Wisconsin Rapids and our two good friends, Mr. and Mrs. Eckert, who operate the two theatres there, but that George Schutz in the Herald office pulled the bell cord on us before we got to it. George is so tight with his space that it makes it rather awkward some times. Somebody ought to look after George. Wisconsin Rapids is two towns. Half of it is built on one side of the Wisconsin river and the other half on the other side. After they had built both towns they found out that they had to build a bridge so they could get from one town to the other. It's funny they hadn't thought of that before, but you know these Badgers are different from the Nebraskans. Out at Omaha the Nebraskans refused to build Omaha until Council Bluffs built a bridge across the Missouri river, and that's where Council Bluffs pulled a bonehead, for just look at Omaha now. Building two towns out of Wisconsin Rapids made just a fair sized town out of each one of them, and this made it necessary for the Eckert family to build a theatre in each town. Mr. Eckert operates the one on the west side and Mrs. Eckert the one on the east side, and this made it necessary for us to walk clear across that bridge to see them. After the show they invited us to their apartment where we visited until "the clock in the steeple struck one." We asked Mr. Eckert if the fishing was good in the river and he said, "Well it isn't any good now because the paper mill runs all their carbide sulphate (or something like that) in the river and that has killed all the fish." (Note — The Izaak Walton League ought to put a stop to that.) Then he went on and said, "It may seem strange to you, but when we first came here, people couldn't raise chickens along the banks of the river because the muskies and northern pike would come out of night and catch them, that's a fact and you can believe it or not." We replied, "Thanks for giving us the option, and since it is not considered ethical to question a fish story, we are going to believe every word of it." This seemed to make him feel good, so he went out in the kitchen and came back with a tray and a decanter and three glasses and we said, "Hold, brother, let's not forget that Biblical injunction, 'Look not upon the wine when it is red, for it biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder.'" We didn't, we shut both eyes, and then we remembered that other Scriptural passage, "Take a little wine for thy stomach's sake," and right away we felt that there was something wrong with our stomach. Well, anyhow, we had a good visit, and we are invited back to visit them again, which is an indication that they are not familiar with our past record. AAA Deiightfu! Gentlemen At Marsh field we met Mr. Adler, who operates three or four theatres in that part of the state. This was our first meeting with him and we found him a delightful gentleman and a man who impresses us as having a thorough knowledge of the business. We hope to meet him again. At Stanley we found our good friend, Tom Foster, still operating the theatre but for another fellow. When we were there two years ago Tom had just installed sound and the price he had to pay for sound service was enough to wreck the constitution of a freight engine and it had just about put Tom on his back, so he sold the theatre and is now managing it for the owner. We have found a lot of other theatremen in just that same fix, except that some of 'em collapsed altogether. Chippewa Falls looked to us like a mighty good town, but both theatres there were having a hard time to make expenses. N. A. Anderson had recently taken over the Rivoli and from the list of pictures he has coming it would seem that conditions ought to change. Both of the theatres there are giving the town the best of service, as good as they could get in Chicago, 111., or Neligh, Neb., and that ought to be good enough. Wisconsin and Minnesota ought to have a law prohibiting people from carrying fish poles on their cars and "Minnows For Sale" signs along the highways around these lakes. It's a constant source of annoyance to us people who have to work for a living and it ought to be stopped, 'tain't fair. AAA Real Tears or Mushy-Mush? Whenever we find a man, woman or kid who doesn't like boys and dogs, we not only feel sorry for 'em, but we look upon 'em with considerable suspicion. The picture that comes the nearest filling the bill along the lines of boys and dogs is "SKIPPY." This picture has a few tears, but that won't hurt a bit. Tears are a lot better than this mushy-mush they have been feeding the public. The fact is if they could wring a few more tears from the audience and a few less from the exhibitors, the business might take an upward turn. Our experience with hundreds of audiences all over the country may not have qualified us to take the public pulse correctly, but our judgment is that these meaningless pictures with meaningless titles mean nothing at the box offices. The public is being fed up on too many pictures with no story, no intelligent direction, just a lot of scenes thrown together with people making love in a garden, a cabaret dance, a song by some girl who can't sing, a drunken brawl or two, a little tango with not much on but tango and talcum, a horse race and a few more scenes with no connection whatever and there you are. That's what they call a picture, and that's what the public is invited to see, but the public is sending "regrets." "SKIPPY" is different. "COMMON CLAY" is different. "CIMARRON" is different. "TRADER HORN" is different. "CONNECTICUT YANKEE" is different, and thank the good Lord there are a few more that are different, or this business would go on the rocks. We aim to tell it just as we find it, and that's it. Pick up any city daily and turn to the theatre section and you will note that many of the theatre are putting on double feature programs, and quite often a midnight preview in addition, all for the regular admission price, and if you can prove to us that that isn't crazy business, then there is no sense in putting money into lunatic asylums. When vou order a piece of huckleberry pie you don't expect the waitress to bring you three slices, and yet there would be just as much sense to it. Too much pictures is like too much pie, they'll both sour on your stomach. We had ONE picture sour on ours the other night when we saw "ILLICIT." Producers seem to think that quantity is what counts, but QUALITY is what will pull this business out of the mudhole. Let's try a little quality for a change. AAA Gophers Next We kinda hated to leave those Badgers over in Wisconsin. They are not a bad bunch of animals if you rub the fur the right way and treat 'em right. And it's no trouble to treat 'em, for you can find it in filling stations or about anywhere else, and if there is anj^thing a Badger likes it is to get foam on his nose. Yes sir, they are a nice bunch over there and we like 'em. We don't know yet how these Gophers are going to act over here. You take part Gopher and part Yon Yonson and you don't know what you are going to get. But if these Minnesota boys are as fine as we have always found them to be there will be no use for Nebraska to try to coax us to come back as long as the bass are biting and Tillie and Lena serve as good coffee as they do. And besides that, it will soon be huckleberry time up here. All right, George, we are not going to give 3'ou a chance to kick about taking too much space this time. J. C. JENKINS, The HERALD Man.