Motion Picture Herald (Nov-Dec 1934)

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60 MOTION PICTURE HERALD November 10, 1934 J. C. JCNriNS—HlS CCLTUM 'lllli Lincoln, Nebraska Dear Herald: This town of Lincoln is the home of the Cornhusker football team. Heretofore that was something to brag about, but since the team went up to Minneapolis and let those Gophers walk all over 'em to the tune of 20 to nothing, about all Lincoln has to offer the public (outside of her seven theatres) is the state capitol building. But speaking of state capitol buildings, did vou know that Nebraska has a capitol building that cost $15,000,000 and that it is entirely paid for? Well, she has, and there is not a cent against it. We are not paying interest on long-time bonds. In fact, our constitution will not permit the state to go in debt nor issue bonds. We pay as v^^e go, and that is a good system for any state or any person to adopt. But we started to talk about the Cornhusker football team, but since the Gophers trimmed 'em up, even if the Huskers did up and nose out Iowa's Hawkeyes 14 to 13, we haven't a thing to say except that there was no doggone sense in the Cornhuskers letting the Gophers clean 'em that way. Anyhow, this is what we had on our mind — AN OPEN LETTER TO GEORGE BRENT Dear George (If we may be permitted to address you in this manner) : Did you ever sit on the bank of a lake and fish all the forenoon and the most of the afternoon and not get a bite, then all of a sudden a five-pound bass would come along, grab your hook, and you would yank him out and take him home to feed a hungry family? You did, eh? Well, so have we, and do you remember how the mosquitoes would flock around us for their noonday meal? And then when that bass grabbed your hook what a sense of joy and satisfaction it gave you ? Do you remember that, George? Well, that was just the feeling we had last night when we saw you playing in "Desirable" with Jean Muir and Verree Teasdale. Say, George, we have sat through many a show when the mosquitoes gathered around us by the millions (and the whelps were hungry, too) and we have seen the society swells take young girls to their apartment and dismiss the butler and lock the door and then they would have a wrestlin' match on the sofa, to the utter disgust of those who had any regard for decency, but to the delight, no doubt, of the director and the young and dizzy minded. But, George, you didn't do this, no sir, and right there was where that bass grabbed our hook. You were in love with an innocent girl and you played the part of a gentleman and you protected her, just as you ought to have done. Probably some wanted to see another wrestling match, but you and the Legion of Decency said no, and say, George, if you will continue to say "no" and continue to play in decent roles, as you did in this one, it won't be long until the public will be calling for you as they are now calling for Janet Gaynor, Will Rogers, Harold Lloyd, Louise Fazenda, Irene Rich, Chic Sale and a number of others. And do you know why they are calling for these people, George? Well, it is because there are never any "nnosquitoes" around the theatre when they play, and they always take a bass home with them, and say George, if it is the custom for Hollywood to fight mosquitoes don't you ever have a wrestling match on the screen. Jean Muir was the girl, and she was a most delightful performer, too ; not only that, but she was the daughter of her mother, and her mother was pretty hardboiled, too. George, they say that "Cleanliness is next to Godliness," whatever that means, and we will suggest that the next time you take a bath you be sure to wash both feet and back of yours ears, and the next time we come out there we will go down to Santa Monica and get us a boat and we will go out and catch some sea bass. How's that, old timer? V The teacher told the class that each of them should write a verse of poetry to be read at the school exhibition at the close of the school, so Willie wrote: / once knew a girl named Nellie Who had freckles all over her nose, She ate some green apple jelly And got a bad pain in her head And that's all I kttow about 'Nellie. He read it to the teacher and she said, "Why, Willie, it doesn't rhyme," and Willie said, "Of course it don't but you wouldn't want it to, wouldja?" V That Timber Belt We heard a fellow say the other day that the past season had been so hot and dry that his garden had all burned up and he didn't even raise a radish, but that next spring he was going to plant a row of trees around his garden so it wouldn't dry out. This fellow is a strong advocate of that "Timber Belt" idea to bring rain. He also believes that the earth is flat and that the moon is made of green cheese. [Sh-h-h, Jaysee. Read the third column of this page. — Ed.] V A girl stopped us on the street yesterday and said, "Say, Colonel, what would you say I ought to do if my boy friend kisses another girl?" And we replied, "Well, you better go home and turn on the radio and listen to Percy de Pyster, the crooner, sobbing 'Your Kisses Bring Heaven to Me,' then after that take a big dose of salts and you will be all right." V But as Andy Gump said to Min: And then there's another thing. Didja know that trees won't grow out in western North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska and Kansas, except along the streams, unless they are tmtered every fifteen minutes? Well, they won't. That's why it is so dry out there, because they don't have "trees to bring rain." [We warned you, Jaysee! — Ed. ] V We got a letter from Andy Anderson up at Detroit Lakes, Minn., asking us to come up there and go fishing with him. He says that the bass are so hungry that they will jump right into the boat and grab a "Wilson Wabbler" before he can light his pipe. We'd like to go, but Walt Bradley, our son-in-law, has booked a lot of mighty fine shows for his Moon theatre and that's that, although we are soon to start for Oklahoma and Texas for the fall and winter, so that's the way it goes. Darn the luck, anyway. COLONEL J. C. JENKINS The HERALD'S Vagabond Colyumnist THE PROFESSOR TO THE COLONEL: To THE Editor of the Herald : Colonel Jenkins started this battle of words in the August 18, '34, issue of the Herald. He made some rather wild statements, to wit: "Somebody has had another pipe dream" ; "Trees don't give moisture" ; "Trees don't produce rain," etc. I countered with what I thought was convincing statements substantiated by good authority. He is apparently unconvinced that I am correct and, like most arguments, neither am I convinced that he is right. I'm most happy to cross mental broadswords with him and, even though he claims to have a "halter on that horse," please advise him that my little goat is still grazing peacefully in the south forty. I admitted in niy last letter that there will be planting failures ; that it takes time to grow a tree ; that it was probably poor policy to drain the lakes of western Nebraska, and I'll admit further that this shelter belt will not make the Dakotas and Nebraska an inland lake. (This in no way subtracts from my statement that "trees do give of¥ moisture" ; that "a 30-foot forest should increase local rainfall one or two per cent," etc.) I said if it can increase it two inches, it might make the difference between agricultural success and failure. But there are other factors, such as cutting down of wind velocity, better distribution of the snow, and greater absorption by the soil of snow and rain water, that make the shelterbelt worth the trial. The "Colonel" asks the "Professor" a question and I'll grant that we on the Pacific Coast get our rain in the winter. I'll also concede Iowa and Nebraska get some rain in the summer. But, J. C, let me ask one? If the following statement you make is true, "The reason why we have more rain in the summer than in the winter is because there is more heat in the summer to evaporate the water than in the winter," then why do we have most of our rain on the Coast in the winter? Give me a good answer to that one and I'll ship my goat by express collect ! Before you answer this, just go out to Halsey, Neb., and ask the Forest Supervision to show you the 25,000 acres of young trees that are growing and growing well in your native sand hills. They have never been watered or cultivated. That's the proof of the pudding that trees can be made to grow there. The Supervisor will be happy to show you around. I've been there and it's a revelation. He gave me a cross-section of one of his thinned trees. It was almost six inches across and it grew that in 16 years. Don't let your horse run out this winter. Tie him in the shelter of the trees and he will consume less corn to keep him fat. — T. J. Starker, Professor of Forestry, Oregon State College, Corvallis, Ore.