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MOTION PICTURE MAGAZINE
Mildred S., Kansas. — You are one of those who seem to want this department to be devoted to answering questions about myself. I much prefer to remain in the background and to be known by my works. What I eat, how I sleep, how long I expect to live, the length of my beard, the size of my shoes, etc., etc., will all be writ on tables of stone for the benefit of posterity, but for the present I prefer to re
tire into innocuous desuetude, as far as myself is concerned, and devote these precious pages to the interests of the Motion Picture.business. Therefore, kindly shoo fly, dont bother me.
Curious. — I fear you eat too much. Remember that in feeding our engine with fuel it holds much more than *it can consume. So you think "A Million Bid" is the best play ever produced.
If I Had a Million $$
By ALFRED WEISS
If I had a million dollars,
do you know what I would do? I wouldn't buy an auto
or a cottage built for two. Neither would I play the races
or visit France or Spain. From hesitations, tangoes, dips
I surely would refrain. Yet neither would I hie away
to mountains grand and high, For lonesome would I be alone
away up in the sky. I would not have a string of servants
at my beck and call, To pester me my whole life long —
a prisoner of them all. Nor would I buy a handsome yacht,
around the world to cruise, Or stroll along the Great White Way
to cure me of the blues.
If I'd a* million dollars,
I'll tell you what I'd do ; I'd take the sub to Brooklyn —
does that give you a clue? The Answer Man I'd buy for keeps —
oh, wouldn't that be fine? His dancing eyes, his wavy hair —
all these would be mine. And when my heart would heavy be
from sadness of the day, He'd come with his puns and jokes,
and crack and crack away. When from their blithe and merry sound
in sleep would fall my head, He'd take me gently in his arms
and tuck me in my bed.
Oh, happy would my life be then
— my peace would be sublime; But instead of a million dollars,
I only have a dime. And still the Motion Picture Magazine,
it seems to me, Even for a million dollars
would not let their captive free. So I will have to live alone
and cherish my sweet dream, For I am sure 'twill ne'er come true
— at least so 'twould seem.
A.K-0