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the roller-coaster. I was proud to be seen with him, to have the other girls know I could get him. It was a feeling of conquest, not love.
"I instinctively knew that if he were to continue to like me better than the others, he must kiss me. So I let him. It didn't mean a thing. His kisses didn't thrill me like the kisses of a boy should thrill a girl.
"Then, one day when I was on the beach with my mother, I met another Billy. Billy Ormsby. We were on the carousel. He made eyes at me, I smiled at him. We got to talking. He went up and introduced himself to my mother. He was her favorite. She would like to have had me fall in love with this Billy.
"But I couldn't understand this falling-in-love business. I thought it was sort of fun when they wanted to kiss me, but I couldn't understand all the fuss the girls made about it.
"There were a number of boys like these two Billys. I don't even remember their names. Mother's illness, her death, my working to get a break in pictures — I didn't have time to think about boys and what they might mean in my life.
"Then I came to California.
TRYING TO FACE LOVE
" T> EN LYON lived in the same house with me. We ran X3 around together. And George O'Hara took me a couple of places. And Garret Fort, the writer. He was the first boy I wanted to love so I might marry. And that wasn't because of Garret, but because of his mother. I was crazy about her. I'd lie awake nights, thinking, 'Oh, if I could only fall in love with Garret so I could always have his mother.'
"But I couldn't. He was nice but he didn't have whatever it is that makes me fall in love with a person. I was
eighteen and I began to wonder if I'd ever meet that kind of person.
"Then it happened.
"I was making 'The Plastic Age.' Mr. Ben Schulberg sent for me. 'We are thinking of signing a boy and want you to see his test and give us the woman's angle,' he told me.
"I discovered the men hadn't liked him so well, but the studio people felt he had something which might appeal to the women.
"I went into the projection-room and saw a young boy who looked something like Jack Gilbert. Young, romantic, appealing.
"'He's a marvelous boy. Why don't you sign him up?' I asked Mr. Schulberg.
"His name was Luis Alonzo. They signed him.
"A few days later I was sitting on a box on the set with my make-up kit in my lap. I looked up over the mirror. There stood the boy whom I had, in a way, chosen. He was in a yachting outfit. Our eyes met, held for a moment. We both looked away.
"But in that one brief moment something had happened. My heart, my head, my whole being felt a completely new sensation. I was a little dizzy. I can't exactly describe it.
CHANGES OF NAME AND HEART
"' I SHAT afternoon they introduced us. His name had
J. been changed from Luis Alonzo to Gilbert Roland.
"That night when I went home to my little house in the
canyon all I could think of was that boy. I wanted to
know him better.
"My dressing-room was next to his. About three days
later he called me in and told me his life story. He had a
funny, cute little accent. He was dark — handsome. His
eyes burned into mine while he was talking. I had always
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