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I ookit, right here, clause nine, that Nathan Burkan put in for me, says — "And that's how I get my way. Now, you know I ain't a bit temperamental, but some of these guys act like a lot of A.K.'s. But we got a picture. Yes, indeed.
And lookit what they've done for my appearance this year. Hand me those stills. Lookit, here's me last year. And here I am this year — no, that's Barrymore. My error. But say, here I am, look at that hair, them eyes, those nose. Who is this guy Novarro?
B-b-b-boy, you ain't heard nothin' yet. I use to make up with burnt cork. A couple of smears and there I was. This fancy picture make-up is the nuts. Gee, stuff to give you sheiky hair, stuff to give the eyes that come-hither look, lip rouge. Gosh, I feel like putting one hand on my hip and shrieking, "A wench's curse on such as you. " Don't tell me the camera don't lie. This year I'm a handsome juvenile. Last year I used to take one look at the rushes and rush out of the projection-room ga-ga. Honest. I looked like something to scare the baby with.
Hear the gag about Moses and Pharoah's daughter: She found him in the bullrushes, remember? Well, old man Pharoah says to his daughter what a fine oil -can this guy Moses turned out to be. And Pharoah's gal speaks up and says, " I can't help it, Pa; He looked fine in the rushes." Like a lot of pictures.
Say, if they stick me in any more cafe or cabaret scenes I'm going to grab a boat. I've been in more jernts than Volstead ever padlocked. Honest, I'm beginning to feel like Texas Guinan. You know they got a, piece of business about a song-writer in the picture, and they got it all wrong. No real song-writer would act that way. A songwriter is the biggest pest in the world and — but anyway I told 'em, I said, "Say, you need a couple of titles in there to fix up that sequence." And I gave 'em a couple of titles.
In the matter of dress as well as in the matter of posture, it's apparent that Agnes Franey believes in keeping herself posted
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A "still" from Harry Langdon's latest picture "The Chaser."
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