Photoplay (Jul - Dec 1943)

DO? Wartime can create strange situations between men and women — and none stranger than some of these letters reveal DEAR MISS DAVIS: My boy friend is 23, and I have been going with him for the past year. We became engaged after we had known each other 8 months. I inquired — after we were engaged — why he was in Class 4F. He told me of a scrape he was in when he was just 17; he stole a car. Previous to the time I met him he had been in the Army for five months, but was discharged because he had lied about this felony on his record. Now, well over a year after Pearl Harbor, he still hasn't been drafted. It began to seem odd to me, because another boy in our town — who had a record — was drafted. Because of my insistence that George find out about his status, he told me of a second felony. Here's my question: Even if I love him (which I really do) can I accept the situation as it is and marry him? He says that he loves me so much that if anything should happen between us, he just wouldn't be responsible for what would happen. I've rather wanted to join the WAAC ever since they organized and I think that might be a way out for me. After all, a woman wants to be proud of her future husband. Please, Miss Davis, since I love him so desperately, should I marry him and face this, or should I join up and work out my heartache for my country? Jean C. *\Dear Miss C: It seems impossible to me, judging from your letter, that you could be really proud of this boy. Of course, what your problem boils down to is this: Which is more important to you — what a boy has been or has done in the past, or what he is going to be in the future? You have known him long enough to tell whether he has overcome the things in his character that caused his collision with the law in the first place. If he hasn't, I certainly would advise you against marrying him to try to reform him. It never works. As I have said before in some of my answers, this is a problem so individual and containing so many details of which I know nothing that it must be decided by you alone. Sincerely, Bette Davis. Dear Miss Davis: I know you are very busy so I'll get right to the point. I am not ugly and I'm not beautiful; I guess I'm just in-between, but I have one great disadvantage. Here is the "lowdown." When I was six years old, I was hit by an automobile. Now I have a scar in the middle of my forehead which extends down near my eyes. I've been in many plays and sung on many programs in school (I am now fourteen) and every time I appear, I want more and more to be a singer. But my friends laugh at me. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. Do you think I should give up my hopes because of my problem? Josette G. Dear Miss G: It is a little difficult for me to give you an honest opinion, as I have no way of knowing — from your letter — just how noticeable your scar is. In case it is extremely noticeable, it seems to me that you should consider plastic surgery when you are older. Remarkable things are being done in this field. However, at present I believe you could make your life pleasanter if you would consistently use one of the heavier powder bases now on the market. The cosmetic buyer in any store in your town ivill be able to recommend one of these. If your scar is not a bad one. it wouldn't prohibit a career for you, as make-up covers a multitude of sins. Yours sincerely, Bette Davis. Dear Miss Davis: I turn to you with my problem as I know you to be a very understanding person. I had the great pleasure of meeting you in New Hampshire at the premiere of "The Great Lie" and talking to you for some time — not that I expect you to remember me, as you meet so many people of really great importance. I am nineteen, and I am engaged to a very nice young man who is twentytwo. He is an officer in the armed forces. I have known this boy for five years, ever since high-school days. He is a fine man, comes from a very nice family, and is a graduate of M.I.T. When I told my parents we were going to be married, they said I should wait until the war is over and then perhaps they would approve. I am so very much in love with him and he with me that we feel we are right in marrying and we hope to have what little happiness we can together, before he goes abroad. My parents have informed me that if I marry against their wishes, they will turn me out of the house for good and that when he goes overseas, I shall have to find somewhere to go. Also, not to bother them ever again. My in-laws-tobe are very fond of me and approve of the marriage. They have said that I may live with them when the time presents itself. I don't want to break with my parents, but I love this boy very much and I feel that I am old enough to be married. Miss Davis, what shall I do? Margaret T. Dear Miss T : Legally, as you probably know, a girl is of age at nineteen and is privileged to marry whom and when she likes. However, I have always believed that one should, as far as is humanly possible, act in accordance with one's parents' wishes. I think that if you icould hax-e another talk ivith your parents, asking them to consider the strange times in which we are living and explaining to them that you don't want to marry without their consent, they might change their minds. If they refuse, you are faced with a problem that only you can solve. Your parents can't judge how much you lore this boy, nor hoiv much you are willing to sacrifice for him. As for the boy, 'dot • he know that your parents oppose your marriage? If so. does he know why? Be sure, before you decide, that he is fully aware of the whole situation, then work out the problem ivith him. Sincerely, Bette Davis. Dear Miss Davis: I have been married for two years. My husband is a farmer but I had always lived in the city until I was married. All this time I have lived on the farm and tried my best to make my husband happy! But now it has come to a place where I can't possibly stand it any longer as we live with his father and I cannot get along with him at all. I have begged my husband and yes. even threatened to leave him, if ht wouldn't move off the farm and ti get himself (Continued on page 80) 67