Photoplay (Jan-Jun 1963)

CONNIE SAYS: continued. happy for the first time since we were engaged. Gary and I get along fine now — the way we used to before we were engaged and started battling. He came over the other night — we had a beautiful time. “It’s possible that what happened to us was just an overdose of pressure and we broke under the strain of it. Now we’ve both backed off to try analyzing what really did happen and just why it did. “I really can’t pinpoint the trouble. I think back, trying to remember and can’t. All I can remember is an argument that began on Christmas Day. I’m not quite sure what the argument was about, but we had a terrible Christmas. What happened, I’m sure, is that we were both under a great deal of strain. Gary’s working very hard on ‘The Virginian,’ he has problems. I was in the middle of a hassle with the studio. I hadn’t worked for twelve weeks and I’d run into all those legal complications when I tried to work in Australia. Every day some new aspect of business pressure was added and Gary and I just naturally took it out on each other. It was as if I couldn’t yell at anyone but Gary, and he couldn’t yell at anyone but me. It was awful. “Here it was Christmas and I had my lovely ring and we should have been on Cloud Nine. The nicest part of the day was that we spent it with Gary’s three little boys — it was lovely — we enjoyed it thoroughly. It was the one part of the day we weren’t fighting. But after that it was like ‘Whose relatives are we going to see first V and ‘You mean you forgot Uncle Charley’s presentV Ridiculous things that kept snowballing until we were in so deep we couldn’t get out. I finally suggested that we call it a day. “We didn’t talk for three days. And just then, the news of our engagement (which up till then had been strictly a family secret) leaked out. It was in print that we were about to marry — and there we were — not even speaking to one another. “Well, everyone wanted wedding stories. One reporter told Gary, ‘Listen, I have a deadline.’ Gary told him off. Oh, he’s a quiet boy but when he says something; watch out! ‘Look,’ he said to the reporter, ‘we aren’t getting married to meet any deadline!’ Oh, I was so proud of him ! “But how can I tell you what this time was like? We were constantly on the phone, the thing never stopped ( Continued on page 85) GARY SAYS: continued me. Why? That’s what we must find out. The whys. Until that’s settled, I just felt we shouldn’t marry, we should wait. “We have to find out why we can’t seem to communicate and why we have constant arguments over nothing. I feel there should be more maturity and more emotional stability at this point. We have problems, sure. But there are always going to be problems. The problems don’t bother me — but our inability to cope with them does. If we can’t handle them — what can we handle? “Maybe it’s a lack of awareness of Connie on my part. Maybe I don’t understand her as well as I thought I did. Or maybe it’s the career pressures we’ve both been under. Whatever it is, whatever is causing the friction — we’ve got to find out what it is and learn to cope with it. “You know, this is the first time since I’ve known Connie that I’ve been financially able to marry her. This is a whole new/ situation for me — it gives me a feeling of obligation, a sense of responsibility. “I hate to hurt anyone — especially Connie. I’ve hurt her in the past, I know — many times. And I can’t stand to hurt her, it rips me apart inside. I’m not going to risk hurting her for life. “So if there’s a chance that we can’t solve whatever it is, we should find out before we marry. Connie could never marry in the church again — and there’s the possibility that children would be involved.” Gary, then, was the one who felt they should postpone their marriage. Connie disagreed. She had no fear about their church wedding — nor of risks involved. She felt they should marry and work out their problems together. She knows her problem — she admits she’s a dominating girl. But she feels that if she’s willing to give a bit, Gary should be willing to give, too. Connie has told Gary, “Either we marry now or we don’t because this way we’re only hurting each other.” Gary wanted to remain engaged but Connie felt it was too late for that. She felt, “Either Gary’s sure and he loves me enough— or he doesn’t.” And Gary was sure, sure he loved her enough — loved her enough not to marry her now. “In our present situation,” he says, “no matter how much two people love one another, the pressure is just too much. Suppose, for instance, ( Continued on page 86)