Photoplay (Jan-Jun 1963)

Continued from page 42 inging. Everyone knew I had my wedding dress and wanted pictures. The pressure vas on and Gary and I, who needed more han anything in the world to sit down and talk quietly, never got to talk at all. There was a new problem every minute refore we could solve the basic problem— ourselves. “That weekend we decided we'd go away —separately — and think tilings out. We lid. We both had horrible weekends. My cousin Carol and I went to Palm Springs and froze. Gary went hunting with a couale of friends and the fog was awful. “We came back as confused as ever. Our life was at stake. I think I got scared. I alked to so many people, I became a composite of everybody, so did Gary. We iust weren’t ourselves and every time we were together it was like two sticks rubbing. We’re both the same temperament ind we fly. Once we do. there’s no way of getting back to the level of talking. We break the sound barrier! “But, we had the sense to take a step backwards and say, ‘Gee, if this is going on |now, what’s going to happen later?’ “We broke our engagement. “Don’t think it was easy! It wasn’t. I jlost twelve pounds doing it. What I've always wanted more than anything in the world is a woman's life and it was almost mine. The one boy on earth with whom I’ve felt totally in tune is Gary. But something has gone out of it. all the youthful snthusiasm and fun. I have always said, and I’m a great believer in this — if it’s to be, it’s going to be. If it’s not, it’s not. “My first womanly reaction was it’s over . . . not another minute will l spend on this boy and this relationship. Since then I’ve had quite a few surprises. “Several columnists suggested that the reason for our break-up was a religious problem. This floored me. Gary and I are of the same faith, we had planned a beautiful church wedding, a religious difference is the last thing we’d have. Someone even suggested Gary had never even been divorced! That's just ridiculous. Maybe it was one of the most prolonged divorces on record (filed March 25. 1957 — finalized August 31, 1960) — but it was finalized and his first wife has remarried. Someone else suggested Gary’s financial status had something to do with it. From my point of view Gary’s financial setup is just fine. But worst of all were the rumors that my returning to the studio was the cause. Someone went so far as to remark, ‘Is it coincidence that Connie’s romance with Gary blows cold just as her romance with Warners blows hot?’ That really got to me. “For Gary I was ready to quit chugging for a career. I was going to have ten babies. Yes, ten babies. We figured we’d have five of our own and adopt another five, children of different races. I was going to regear my whole life. But it sort of bounced back. And now' my plans have changed — you know, you can’t just stop living. “I called the girls back in New York and sent them some money so they wouldn't get stuck paying for the wedding clothes. I told them the truth, we’d postponed it indefinitely. It was a relief to have that off my mind. I was so worried about them, they (and some of their husbands) were all wangling vacations to come here and I couldn’t just leave them up in the air. “Two plastic bags . . “Everybody goes on. It’s only been a week and a half since we reached a decision. although it seems like months, and everyone goes on. “I’ve put my lovely dream dress in a plastic bag and the veil, all that lovely ivory tulle, in another. I’m saving that because eventually I’ll marry . . . somebody . . . someday I hope . . before it gets to be too long. Unless I become one of those movie stars who never marry. But that will never happen, not to me! I’ve got too many names for children stored up in my heart. God forbid that I should ever become a sterile, celebrated, successful star without a woman’s life or a woman’s touch. I dread that more than anything. I work in this town, I’ve met some wonderful women who were lonely, who were also authoritative, almost masculine in handling their business problems. Sometimes I'll go out of my way just to be sure I’m not guilty of the same thing. I'll know exactly what’s to be done but I'll hold hack and wait rather than put mysell in that spot of a dominating woman. “Of course, with the career bit — it reminds me of when I was a kid and we used to climb up an escalator that’s going down. Have you ever tried it? I would say that next to climbing Mt. Blanc, this is the toughest thing of all the tough things in this world. Try it sometime. And the career business is just like it. You just get started and something comes along that takes you down again. You're determined to get to the top, and down you go. But sooner or later you acquire a second wind. 1 guess that’s what I’ve acquired because I feel resigned and happy. “Partly that’s because Gary and I are able to breathe, get together and talk about it. I honestly don’t know if we can work this out. A great deal of something awfully special would have to happen to replace the glamour and verve . . . the pace. If it’s meant to be, sooner or later, it will be. But perhaps this marriage is something that would be right for me and not for Gary. If that’s the way it is, good enough, 1 wouldn't want to hurt him. I really believe that there are many people who love each other very much but aren’t meant to marry. This may be true of us. “Gary’ll always be in my life in some way or another. Perhaps we’ll be lovers all our lives at a distance. It happens to some people. Anything is possible now because my life is an open book. For a while I was in a forest and kept running into the trees, but not now. “Gary, of course, is more stable than I to begin with. Fess emotional. I’ve always wished I could be like him. I’ve envied people like him. They sort of relax into things while with me it’s a mighty trauma. Yet at this moment, when I feel much TRUST YODORA* For those intimate moments . . . don’t take a chance. .. trust Yodora and feel confident. New Yodora is a delicately scented modern beauty cream deodorant fortified with Hexachlorophene. Gives protection you can trust. Pure White. Non-Irritating. Contains no harsh Aluminum Salts PAPP 64 Page Shoe rKEE BOOKLET K SHOECRJ SEND A POSTCARD TODAY FOR It's Easy to be Fitted Direct via Mail I NO RISK TO YOU! MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE The ever popular skimmer with a low one inch stacked heel. Black, turquoise, red, ^bone or white gl^ve leather. pEZZAZZ ONLY $895 (FT 603 FIFTH AY, NEW YORK 17 'Special BING OFFER" Lovely rolled Gold plate rings for Girls, Boys and Adults— replicas of today’s most expensive designs set in "your’' Birthstone color. Z3* For 1 ring Order 4 large boxes of Rosebud Salve to sell at 50c or 4 bottles line Rosebud Perfume to sell at 50^ a bottle. ROSEBUD PERFUME CO. Box 40. W00DSB0R0, MARYLAND iTti] •; ;7.v:i : viTfrro ONLY *42 A MONTH REPAYS P| Borrow $100to $1000 en s tirely by mail! Pay all your bills with a confidential loan from Postal; only one small I monthly payment instead of many. Over 57 years of dependable service to people throughout theU.S. A. State-licensed— your assurance of fair rates and supervised reliability. FAST, AIRMAIL SERVICE. TRY US! POSTAL FINANCE CO.. Dept. 50-E 200 Keeline Bldg., Omaha 2, Nebr. *1000 SELECT LOAN HERE Cash You Receive! 30 Monthly Payments $100 $ 5.12 $300 15.06 $500 23.57 $800 35.28 $1000 42.92 D. J. Levitt. President Postal Finance Co.. Dept. 50-E 200 Keeline Bldg.. Omaha 2, Nebr. Rush FREE complete Loan Papers. AMOUNT NEEDED Name __ Address . City . Ate.. .Zone State. 85