Pictures and the Picturegoer (October 1915 - March 1916)

. UING DK( W5. ?05 AND THE PI< I I !'h,H|-K Our Christmas Picture Party AFTER THE PUDDING, PA TREATS US TO THE PICTURES. V W";', ' • ■ — — ' r t \ ad the table, feeliug very full .mil Christmassy, ' We'd eaten all the turkey, half the pudding ami mince-pics, u.l f.itlui looked important, for he'il promised us this Christmas he Would give to all the family a wonderful surprise. \ Mei ry Chi is'.iuas all ' " he cried, "ami wkeH you've done your dinner. Ma. A\.'liii H ev'iyboih ' else baa Finished half-an-hom I'll put the pony in the Cfti 1 ami take yon to the Cinema. We've never been inside one yet ; it's time we saw a show " V\Y youngsters Were delighted, but deaf Ma was busy swallowing A chunk of hot plum-pndding which stuck fast inside her throat : She indicated to him to get up and we'd he following As s on as he had, safely fastened Fanny in the float. We lads and lasses thought at first it could not be reality; Not one in all our family had been to sucb a treat : We lived six miles from nowhere in a countryfied locality, And seldom saw a single soul outside of our own street. At last we started ! Mother's face had not a single frown on it. Although the wind was icy and the road was bard and rough ; We took it easy going, fearing Fanny might fall down on it, lint after some vicissitudes we got there safe enough. Wc took the pony to an inn to leave her for a while or so, And then inside the Cinema we sat on velvet chairs : The program me said that " My Old Dutch " in length was just a mile or so, And mother wondered bow they got the dear old thing upstaiis) Well, suddenly the lights went out: It really did take one aback,. Till Dad explained tbat somebody had done it for a lark: But mother screamed out "Fire: Murder! Thieves: We want our money back ! How can we be expected to see pictures in the dark . " tin u the music started, ( >h ' ■■ ..n • lioufd h I be piccolo And all the other iustruuK the ill urn and I InDeai' Motliei Sighed and whispered " } lad ! the music :is to tickle < »h : I'm sure I'm gbiug to have a fit or fall in1 on." Hut booh -lie screamed: •• Look, children, look: A man <>* war, I'll bet it is'. " And sure enough we -saw a steamer sailing on the waves. ''It's genuine enough," she cried, "the water', look howwet it is : Hurrah-! Hooray : < '. id save the King? we never shall be slave s!" 'It's wonderful;'" said Father, "but I'll tell you what my notion. is: I saw a lot of water in red buckets down below; : They've pumped it up! You bet your whiskers that is what. yon recall is, But where they've got that steamer from I'm dithered ii" I know : " And .then we saw a murderer { '" ' attempting to assassinate A rich and noble lady who was sitting down to sup ; And no one moved to help her, for the villain seemed to fascinate I's all ; but F'ather hollored : "Murder: Missis: Hey. look up : " Then Ma got wild becaus9 this handsome lady who bad taking eyes Kept looking hard at Father like a frivolous young mis : But F'ather only coughed and said if she persisted making eyes He really couldn't help it — it was her affair: not his. At last when all was over and the music played to indicate Twas time for our departure, dear old Dad looked rather glum. He said : " You know, it seems to me the thing's a kind of syndicate For amateur theatricals for Ihem that's deaf and dumb!" Then mother bought us lemonade and Eccles cake —a penny" one : — And Father drove us quickly home for supper-time was near.1 And, reader, if you'll promise — honour, blight ! — you won't tell anyone. Look out for all of us again on Christmas Day this year! "fiRIANV