Screenland (Oct 1923-Mar 1924)

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44 SCREENLAND Perfect behavior at orgies: All the guests should fall gracefully into reclining attitudes. A Advice to Mothers ■ ll mothers whose sons are away from home should keep a lamp burning in the window. On Christmas Eve, a candle should be substituted. The mother should arrange, on this holiday, to be seated at the old organ singing. When the door opens she should not turn; — it might be only Santa Claus. But at the word "Mother" she should allow her hands to fall slowly from the keys, and should respond, "My son." White hair, a hurt expression, and a skirt which sags slightly should always be worn. Young mothers should neglect their kiddie for Society until the little one falls ill and cries feverishly for "Mummy." She should then come running home in her evening gown and kneel beside the little bed to gather baby in her arms and murmur, "I'll never, never leave you again." At these words the little fellow is restored to perfect health and confidence and pats Mummy's cheek with his hand. This is Mummy's cue to break down and have a real good cry. Conduct for Kiddies IT here are two kinds — rich kiddies and poor kiddies. It is the rich kiddie's duty to climb out of his bed in the nursery while nurse is asleep, and with his little white wooly lamb interrupt the big domestic scene down in the drawing room. He should take mama's hand and papa's hand and drag them together, smiling up at them through his curls. This invariably results in a reconciliation and kiddie being bounced on daddy's shoulder. The poor kiddie is an orphan ; but he should learn to cry prettily and the Little Angel of the Slums will take him home with her and he will soon be a rich kiddie himself. AN OUTLINE OF otion Picture (Etiquette By Y^elight Evans Drawings by Wynn time, she should give an ecstatic back kick, clutching her sweetheart by his coat lapels. The proposal should take place in a roadster parked in a flowery lane, in an old fashioned garden, or in the conservatory. One of the important points in any courtship is the chase from tree to tree. Girl should glance coyly back over her shoulder, and when she has dodged the tenth tree she should allow him to catch up with her and kiss her hands. This scene is played only by engaged couples. OOOOOOOOOOOO Rules Regarding Love hen kissed for the first time, a girl should close her eyes. The second Rule regarding the debutante — she should be surrounded by a mob of young men all trying to claim her attention.