Screenland (Oct 1923-Mar 1924)

Matt Gimp whos neece infests the screen under the name of Lora Montaine. So we went to an actor by the name of Shrimp McGee who Maizie was engaged to last year before she got another rais in salary and Shrimp, out of malis, says he would use us in his picture and give us a lot of publicity and money on account of our distingwished connections. Out least the old Cloudy with Storms wich is my wife says he done it out of malis becaus she hates to let on I got any talent. So we went to the mane stage and Shrimp calls a still man and asks us to pose for some pictures to put in the papers and then he calls a lot of bathing girls to help put some pep into them stills. Well the pictures was sertainly lively enuff becaus Matt and me throwed our souls into the part and Shrimp stood on the side lines and made all kinds of jokes and cracks. We was supose to be cutups in the pictures and act skittish with the girls. Shrimp said he would take the still pictures ist to rush out the publicity and we could do our stuff before the movie cameras afterwards at $15 a day wich is good waiges but not what the Biddle kid from Newport got to start with. I mite of knowed it was too good to be true and that Ben and Matt and me throwed our celabration too soon. This A. M. wen I reported for work I just thot Id drop in on the Publicity gent and see them still pictures. It just struck me that mabe me and Matt had been a trifle too daring in some of them photos. Well I wasnt the ist to call on the Publicity gent for the old Deluge wich is my wife had beet me to it and the Publicity gent was just about to call on the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to animals wen I arrive. The Deluge had seen the pictures all labeled as to how the father of the famus Maizie Garrick had decided to leeve home and join up with the art. The publicity gents story was that he had got orders to shoot them stills to the papers and that the orders had gone from Shrimp. Well what the Deluge called Shrimp was a crime. I aint heard her speek so planely since we moved from the Bronx. She hollered malis, malis and a lot of other things wich I couldnt even rite in my diry. I never 0 So I goes to lay knowed she had pickt up so many good down the law to ajectifs. Then she turned on me and my storm and repeeted the balling out with trimmings. strife. As for the Shrimp the dirty bum he had gone on location and left me to face the Cycloon wich got worse wen Matt's neece and his wife and his wifes sister wich is the famus Lora Montaine bloo in, being called there by my wife to take a look at them still pictures. Well the publicity gent could do nothing but tare up them stills and promis to forget about them but the Deluge never left that studio till she had told the dirty work to the general Man'ger, the president, 3 directors and anybody that would listen. So I went home without no more career and here I am wating for Ben to come home with the lifesavers. Dec. 17. Yesterday me and Ben got talking things over and I deside that I am going to work and that nobody can stop me from going into the movies if I want to. Lay down the law to the storm and strife says Ben, but dont tell her I told you to do it. So I went out from the garag where I have my room on acc't of not being allowed to live in the house like one of the fambly and walks in on the thunder and lightning wich is my wife and asks her can I have a little business talk. She says how much do you want. Nothing I said with dignity. I am tired of living off a public disgrase like Maizie. Cut that stuff, says the wife. I am going to work, I says. Dont make me laff, she says. And I am going in the movies, I told her. Well that makes her think of the still pictures and she hits the seeling again. There is plenty of companys that would be glad to have me, I says, and what would know talent if they saw it and wich you couldnt get to tare up the stills. There are such vile monsters, says the wife, but it is just like you to stope to low company, I know what goes on there in the garag with you and Ben and that greesed lightning he sells. That, I says, is neether here nor there. I am going to work and going this afternoon down to the Bozo Komedy Kompany, so dont kid yourself that I aint. How much do you expect to earn, says the wife. 75 dollars a week is my price to start, I tells her. Well, the wife sat and thinked for a wile and finally she says, Maizie and me have been talking things over and Maizie says she needs a busines manager. Why should we go out of the family for a busines manager when your pa would take the job for 100 dollars a week says I to Maizie. What do you mean, I asked the wife. That I should be business manager to that mooron. Dont [Continued on page 102]