Screenland (Oct 1923-Mar 1924)

he, too, told me some of his own thoughts. Lila and I sat down in a drawing room set at the studio to talk things over, because she and Kirkwood were working night and day on an Ince picture, and there was no other time. But I had known Lila since she was a tiny tot known as Cuddles, in Gus Edwards' vaudeville revue, so I took more than a mere casual interest in her affairs. "These separations are not good," she said. "More misunderstandings arise from separations between people in the acting world than from any other cause. It is so easy for something to happen when people are separated. It is not merely that _ they may begin to be interested in somec body else. But it takes a certain amount of accustomedness to each other for people to get along together. You learn all this patiently, — learn to put up with each other's little faults and failings, — then you are separated. You miss each other, but you forget each other's faults. Minute changes of character occur in both parties, — and when the two meet again, — well, nothing is quite the same. If you are separated three or four months of the year, you are certain to drift away from each other. The first thing you know, you have lost that delicate poise of sympathy in like interests; all your interests are different. It is just like a child who leaves home. At first the child grieves, but gradually he forms a new world about him, grows estranged even from his mother. When he goes home, nothing seems the same. "Look at the film people who have become estranged through separation — people who I'm sure, too, really had cared for each other. "When you are married, you cannot be selfish. You have to think of two, not one. But you must try to make the two one in all aims and interests insofar as possible. can increase our stock-in-trade only by care and thoughtfulness. People who are married don't use their brains enough; that is the trouble. An actor, too, will work all day to make his work successful; he doesn't expect his wife to take the burden of that ; but too often he expects her to take all the burden of making marriage a success. And the same way with the actress. The Kirkwood-Lee DECALOGUE for Domestic Happiness 1. We must not be separated. 2. We must not be selfish. 3. We must keep our romance alive. 4. We must work as in a business partnership. We must sacrifice our careers if necessary. We must flirt with each other. We believe children are Even Careers Must Be Sacrificed I, 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. SI Lila Lee believes that separations are the biggest menace to married happiness in the screen world. f necessary, people should be willing to give up something of their careers to keep their married happiness." James Kirkwood has done just that. He gave up a big stage offer to return to Hollywood and pictures with his wife. He told me quietly about that afterward — just as a matter of courseas though it was simply what he wanted to do — not as though it were any sacrifice. "She is wonderful," Kirkwood told me just then. "I don't know how she ever did what she did for me after my accident. She had never had charge of a sick person before, had never had charge of money or business affairs; yet she took charge of all these things while I was ill, and she did them marvelously well." "A woman is very foolish to forget to flirt a little with her husband," Lila interrupted [Continued on page 89] necessary. We must have a sense humor. We have confidence each other. We believe in divorce necessary. of in if Romance Must Be Carefully Tended .omance is necessary, but it takes two to keep the romance alive. The trouble with most people is, they want happiness, but they do so little to get and keep it. Constant thoughtfulness and watchfulness are the price of happiness as well as of liberty — yes, and self-denial, too, is necessary, if this precious happiness is to be kept. "Jim and I have decided that marriage is just another sort of business partnership. We plan and think of marriage in that way. fl A new study Love is the stock in trade. We must of the Kirknot ruthlessly sacrifice it. We must woods on the treat each other with courtesy and porch of their consideration, as business partners H ollywood who get along well together, do. We home. 70