Screenland (Oct 1923-Mar 1924)

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SC1EENLANB Best Similies of 192.3 jFbank J. Wilstoch has selected the best similes of 1923. Mr. Wilstoch is the author of "A Dictionary of Similes" and every year adds to his list. Screextaxd presents the new similes, realizing that sooner or later you will find them in your evening's sub-titles. The new similes: Your eyes are like loot from a cathedral.— Eleanor Hollowell Abbott. Fleeting as a ferryboat shoe shine. — Franklin P. Adams. He felt like the symptoms on a medicine bottle. — George Ade. Verse ... as liquid and persuasive as drifting in a gondola. — Conrad Aiken. So thin that she could fall through a flute and never strike a note. — Anon. Homely as Mrs. Devil. — Anon. Dumb as the man who thought a football coach has four wheels. — Anon. Unlike as a vacht and a coal barge. — Anon. Infinitesimal as a defeated candidate's opinion of himself after election. — Anon. Acrimonious as post-mortems of the bridge table. — Anon. About as neat as a coal-heavet 's nails. — Anon. He-rfan for third base like a wholesale bootlegger pursued by revenuers. — Anon. About as much privacy as a statue in the park. — Anon. Some men are like the Einstein theory — nobody at home understands them. — Anon. Noisy as iron waves splashing and dashing on an iron ocean. — Anon. Her mind is like a sundial: it records only pleasantness. — Anon. Different as Piers Plowman and Mr. Pickwick. — Anon. Absurd as a Hottentot marooned on an iceberg. — Anon. Her hair is like an exploded can of tomato soup. — Anon. Distressing as an amateur cocktail. — Anon. Difficult as to put a blister on a porcupine.— Anon. No more privacy than a Broadway waffle cook. — Anon. Littered with debris as a picnic train. — Gertrude Alherton. Lonely as a'^bachelor looking at Niagara Falls in June. — Arthur Bear. Harmless as filtered water. — Thomas Beer. Scattered like storm-lashed birds. — John Bojer. His heart knocked like a Ford car 101 the ENEMY that is shortening Your life Personal Mail Consulting Service by Dr.Gra ham's Staff Any person taking: Neutroids may feel free to rell at the Sanitarium or write to Dr. Graham confidentially. Your letter will receive the personal attention of either Dr. Graham himself or a staff physieian. By Neutro!ds-Dr7 Graham's Famous Prescription Superfluous fat over-burdens the heart and affects the lungs, kidneys, stomach and all other organs. Stout men and women are the easiest victims of pneumonia. Trivial maladies, such as ptomaine poisoning or bronchial infections bring sudden andunex r^"" pected death to stout people where such a thing is unheard of when slender people are similarly affected, Realizing that obesity is a serious factor in shortening human life, Dr. R. Lincoln Graham, famous stomach specialist of New York, has devoted his life to finding a method for reducing obesity naturally without injury to the health of the patient in any way. Finally,after countless experiments in the laboratories of Europe and America, he developed and perfected his prescription known asKEUTROLDS. No Creams— No Baths— No Diet— No Exercise The fat in your body is caused by a simple chemical process. Yeast cells in the stomach combine with the starch and sugar of your food, causing fatty tissues instead of healthy lean muscle. Neutroids counter-act the action of these yeast cells and immediately overcome the formation of fat at its very source. Neutroids then aid nature in dissolving fatty tissue accumulated over a long period. Dr. Graham has prescribed Neutroids for thousands of people suffering from overweight who have visited his sanitarium. He personally guarantees that his prescription will give satisfactory results and that it contains no thyroid extract or habit forming drugs and can be taken with safety by all. SEND COUPON ONLY— NO MONEY Merely fill in and send this convenient coupon now. When the little packet of Neutroids arrives deposit purchase price with Postman. This will be refunded if you are not satisfied. WHAT USERS OF N EUTRO I DS HAVE TO SAY Had tried everything "I have tried everythinsr on the face of the earth to reduce and nothing has done me any good but Dr. Graham's Neutroids." — Constance E. Harris, Brooklyn, N. Y. Lost 5 pounds in one week "In the first week's treatment of Neutroids I lost five pounds, lost my craving for food, feel lighter and more active."— Mrs. Madeline Gunther, New York City. Lost 16 pounds in 2 weeks "I lost sixteen pounds on the first two weeks' treatment and feel fine. I want to lose twenty-four pounds more." — L. G. Miller, Thermo polis, Wyo. Dr. R. Lincoln Graham, care of The Giaham Sanitarium, Inc., 123 East 89th St., Dept711-C New York City:— Send me two weeks' treatment of Neutroids which entitles me to free proiessional mail consulting service and free booklet on Obesity. I will pay postman $2 (plus 15c postage) on arrival in p lain package. Money to be refunded if not satisfied. Name. • Age. .Sex. Address WHERE DO YOU STAND IN THIS GREAT UNIVERSE? let me rnrF TELL YOU r H t t Would you like to know under which Zodiac Sign you were born and what significance it has in shaping the destiny of your life? Your opportunities in life, future prospects, happiness in marriage, your friends, enemies, success in all undertakings and many other vital questions, are indicated through Astrology, the most ancient and interesting science of the world. I have made Astrology my life's work and offer to all readers of this paper the most interesting astro ; logical interpretation of the Zodiac Sign under which you were born. If you will send your full name, address and exact date of birth in your own handwriting, your astrological interpretation will be sent to you in simple language which you can readily understand. A j great surprise awaits you. Enclose 10c to cover cost of this notice and postage^ Address me personally, DHASSI TKRA STUDIO, 1133 Broadway Desk 2B New Ycii .... Weight MOST REMARKABLE OFFER A Real "HE-MAN" Gun FINEST 1924 MODEL Cal. 32. 32-20 or 38 Nickel or Blue Steel 6 Shot Shoots Standard American Ammunition enuine German Luger, 30 cal. 9 shot, value S50! our BRAND NEW SUfllE-Ollt HAND EJECTOR Lett-Hand wheeler 32 cal. S14.50 32-20 or 38 cal. 514.75 Most powerful 6 shot gun made. Used by Police and secret service. A straightshooting. hard hitting " regular "gun. Haswonderful balance and smooth action. Made of best blue steel, rifled barrel, automatic hammer, and safety. Beware of Imitations Do not r -nhise this high grade gun witt. other cheaper models of similar appearance with inspeC* tion plate, and automatic hammer safety, which we can also furnish vou guaranteed brand new for ^ ^75 ^ 1 ^ Cal. 3„ SEND NO MONEY. gfflgjjgrS, pins a few cents postage. Money immedi refunded if not satisfied. Electing Double Action Revolver 32 Cal. 5 Shot.price $7.85 American Bargain House, Dept.A-29 79 Kourth Avenue NEW YORK, N. Y. OTHER SPECIALS TOP BREAK Automatic