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By JACK LEMMON
"A man can't win
BEST GIRL Felicia Farr taught Jack that there is nothing like a clever dame when it comes to deflating an overstuffed male ego.
"There is a conspiracy among women that no man can hope to circumvent," says Jack, who cites a few of his more baffling experiences with the ladies
HAT I have learned about women from women is that the more I know about people the less I seem to know about women.
I am confused. I think that every male is confused. If he isn't, he should be.
Man's very first association with womankind is unsettling. Customarily, he awakens in the arms of a strange woman. She reassures him by uttering friendly sounds and regarding him with an expression of possessive affection, but a certain amount of shock remains.
I have been exceptionally lucky in the mother department. I drew a lady who is sensible, ordinarily unsentimental, and equipped with a sense of humor that many a professional comedian would be ready to buy with diamonds.
She was christened "Mildred," but her intimate friends call her "Min" in fond recollection of the rescueoriented wife of a comic strip character named "Andy Gump." When "Andy" had fouled himself up — well past the extrication powers of the ordinary male — he was always shown in the final frame yelling, "Oh, MIN."
My "Min" is a genius at rescue, but she is also a wack. She spends from six to eight hours per day attending to my business problems. When I leave town, I sign a series of checks in blank and leave them in her care so that she can pay the utility bills and such. "And such" covers some interesting territory.
When I was out of town last summer, I received a charming thank-you'note from her, expressing her appreciation for the birthday gift I had "given" her. She went blithely on with other news, but in the postscript she returned to the item that had excited my curiosity. "It was something I have always wanted," she wrote. "A brass and glass tea cart. Til make good use of it and I think it was very thoughtful of me to buy it for me, saving you all that time and trouble."
From Min, I cjuickly learned that the single most important
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