Swing (Jan-Dec 1945)

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SENATORS FOR THE NATION 23 am not suggesting that it should be changed. I do suggest, however, that we would have a better government if we could make use of those men who, from their experience and knowledge, have something to offer which is of value to the entire country, and not a single state. Clearly, I think, if the new senate members were appointive, they should not be permitted to vote, as this would be against the theory of popular government. That is why some system for electing a limited number of senators nationally would be the most effective. There is a movement at this time to abolish the entire farce of the electoral college, to prevent the recurrence of the nonsense which took place in some states, when a few of the electors solemnly announced that they would not vote for the candidate chosen by the people of their state. It is even suggested that the electoral vote should be divided in proportion of the votes cast for each Presidential candidate. It is a good suggestion . . . and while these changes are being made . . . let's go further and provide for the election of Senators from the United States. PUPPY DDG TALES Three o'clock in the morning. The telephone rings. The theatrical producer gropes in the dark, picks up the phone, snarls into the mouthpiece, "Yeah?" A small voice asks gently, "Could you use me in your show?" "Hell, no," the producer shouts, and bangs down the phone. It rings again, and the same small voice says, "Sir, are you sure you couldn't use me in your show?" "Why, you — you — ! Whatta you mean calling me up in the middle of the night! Of course I can't use you in any show!" The producer hangs up again. Again the phone rings. "But, sir," it's that same small voice. "I'm sure you could use me in your show — " "And what the hell makes you think I could use you in a show?" "I can talk!" "So you can talk! So who the hell can't!" "But," said the voice, "I'm a dog!" • The artist. Whistler, had a French poodle of which he was extremely fond. When the poodle was seized with a throat infection. Whistler had the nerve to send for the great throat specialist, Sir Morell Mackenzie. Sir Morell was not accustomed to treating canine patients. But he prescribed, pocketed a big fee, and drove away without open complaint. The next day he sent post-haste for Whistler, and the artist, thinking he was summoned on some matter connected with his beloved dog, dropped his work and rushed to Mackenzie's. On his arrival. Sir Morell said gravely, "How-do-you-do, Mr. Whistler? I wanted to see you about havini; my front door painted." • A transport truck stalled on a hill. The driver set the brakes, climbed out, looked for something to help push or pull him to the top. A lady was walking her dog along the road. The dog was a Pekingese. The truck driver sized the dog up, then turned to the lady. "Ma'am," he he said, "could I borrow your dog to help pull my truck up the hill?" "Now, young man! You \now that great big truck couldn't be budged by this little tiny dog!" "Well," said the driver thoughtfully, "couldn't we beat him?"