Swing (Jan-Dec 1945)

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dreamland to the soft strains of symphonies v.'afted through space without anything so prehistoric as a radio set. This little dodge is going to be rough on wives of the future, though. Theoretically at least it will rob them forever of one of their old standbys in the griping line. Imagine them being forced to complain: "I nearly froze to death all night. \ou had all the ether waves on your side of the bed an' I like to died." It won't sound right or logical, some way, but sooner or later, they'll wiggle around science and be happily off on their indignant course. Doors, I learn to my horror, will be mere figments of a_ scientist's imagination. They will consist of some newly discovered light waves that keep out the cold but don't obstruct the view. Imagine trying to slam a newly discovered light wave in the face of the elderly eager beaver from Jehovah's 'Witnesses! Everywhere you turn you read one of these prophesies — each wilder than the last, and more terrifying. I don't want any retort-wrestler telling me how I'm going to live! They're planning my future when I haven't even caught vip with my present! In fact, I'm still living in the past and getting bills to show for it. "On second thought, honey, maybe we better hang onto all our stuff," I remarked to the Roommate, who was dreamily perusing a picture spread of "the Home of Tomorrow" in House Beautijul. "We'll be the most beloved folks in the village some day merely as a refuge for modernists who are driven berserk by gadgets slinking around their chromium shacks, fixing leaks in the roof and turning out the fire under the potatoes (really the rumpus room but you'd never recognize "M-m'm, yes," she murmured, from a thousand light years away. I say down with the whole gang of them! I'll stick to that sagging pink chair and that couch which is a damn sight more comfortable than a whole bed of radionic rays — even perfumed radionic rays! To any meddler who is charting my future life I shout: "Dammit, sir, tinker with your own future!" I might i-ven toss in "Egad!" to show my vintage.