Swing (Jan-Dec 1945)

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TO AN OLD BRIEF CASE I FOUND YOU TODAY when we were cleaning out the old back room at the office and grabbed you up with a whoop of joy. What a flood of memories you brought back. Battered and worn now, I remember when you shown with newness. I guess I shown with newness in those days, too. I carried you proudly on my very first call on a prospect, almost 20 years ago. Into your warm leathery heart I stuffed my first order. What a triumphant day that was. The battle see-sawed back and forth a dozen times but we finally got the name on the dotted line and went out of that office with our hearts singing. I remember one morning when I got up and drove a hundred miles and then found I had forgotten to put you in the car. You and I have taken some tough knocks. You and I have met some very fine people through the years. And we have called on some heels, too. You don't have to be jealous, old boy, because of the new brief case. Even though it has a fancy zipper it can never take your place in my affections. I've rescued you from the old back room and I'm taking you home for a place of honor in my study. I'm going to keep you around to remind me of some of the adventures we've had together, so we can pass on to other chaps just starting out. a few of the things we've learned about the art of selling. AAA A fire engine was racing down the street, siren shrieking, when a drunk staggered out of a doorway. For two blocks he chased the engine shouting, "Stop, StopJ" Finally, out of breath, he dropped to the pavement and shook his fist. "All right for you, mister — you can keep your darn ole peanuts." — The Down Towner. AAA I N F L AT I D N I S T I C S Farm Hand: "What is a buccaneer?" Farmer: "That's how much I got for my corn." Only the brave can deserve the fair, but only the rich cnn support them. McTavish: "I'll have a sardine sandwich, lassie." Sheila: "Domestic or imported? The domestic is twenty-five cents and the imported is a dollar and a quarter." McTavish: "The domestic, me good woman. I'm paying no sardine's passage across Ac ocean." AAA A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper.