Swing (Jan-Dec 1953)

Record Details:

Something wrong or inaccurate about this page? Let us Know!

Thanks for helping us continually improve the quality of the Lantern search engine for all of our users! We have millions of scanned pages, so user reports are incredibly helpful for us to identify places where we can improve and update the metadata.

Please describe the issue below, and click "Submit" to send your comments to our team! If you'd prefer, you can also send us an email to mhdl@commarts.wisc.edu with your comments.




We use Optical Character Recognition (OCR) during our scanning and processing workflow to make the content of each page searchable. You can view the automatically generated text below as well as copy and paste individual pieces of text to quote in your own work.

Text recognition is never 100% accurate. Many parts of the scanned page may not be reflected in the OCR text output, including: images, page layout, certain fonts or handwriting.

THE SAGE OF SWING SAYS 61 A communist is a fellow who likes what he hasn't got so well he doesn't want you to have it either. A The only way to achieve contentment is to tune your yearning capacity and your earning capacity to the same wave length. A The rest of your days depend on the rest of your nights. A Government is like your stomach. If it's working right you don't know you've got it. A Love is like a vaccination. When it takes you don't have to be told. Apology: Politeness that is too late. A He was a very absent-minded lawyer. When he began to plead the cause of his client, the defendant, he said: "I know the prisoner at the bar. He bears a reputation of being the most consummate, impudent scoundrel in the county." There was a flurry in the courtroom and the lawyer's partner hurried over and whispered, "Tom, it's your client you're talking about that way. You're supposed to be defending him." Immediately the attorney continued: "But what great and good man ever lived who was not slandered and calumnied by many of his contemporaries?" Optimism — Planting a tree at eighty and expecting to sit in its shade with the next grandchild. A A pessimist is a person who is seasick throughout the entire voyage of life. A Prejudice is a loose idea, tightly held. A teacher in Brooklyn said, "Joey, give me a sentence using the word 'bewitches'." After deep thought, Joe replied, "Youse go on ahead — I'll bewitches in a minute." There are more homes with radios in the United States than there are homes with electricity. A hundred mistakes are an education if you learn something from each one. A Come to think of it, there is nothing so habit-forming as resting. A Few men ever drop dead from overwork, but many quietly curl up and die because of undersatisf action. ▲ The man who says he has never told a lie has made a very good beginning. — (Mark Allerton). A A scandal is a breeze stirred up by a couple of wind bags. A When his miserly old uncle died and left him a sizeable bequest Honore de Balzac wrote the news in identical notes to his publisher and friends — "Yesterday, at five in the morning, my uncle and I passed on to a better life." — (Volta Review). "This hand cart wasn't a bad investment after all."