We use Optical Character Recognition (OCR) during our scanning and processing workflow to make the content of each page searchable. You can view the automatically generated text below as well as copy and paste individual pieces of text to quote in your own work.
Text recognition is never 100% accurate. Many parts of the scanned page may not be reflected in the OCR text output, including: images, page layout, certain fonts or handwriting.
64 S.
Standing outside the gate of his house was a small boy dressed in an obviously new cowboy outfit — chaps, hat, belt with holsters and so on. As a bus approached the cowboy drew his guns pointed them at the driver and said, "Stick 'em up."
The driver drew the bus into the curb, jumped down and approached the cowboy with his hands up, at which the youngster dropped his guns and ran howling for his mother.
▲
A three-year-old had been painstakingly coached in her duties as a flower girl at a wedding.
All went well on the eventful day until, half way down the aisle, the little girl made a sudden detour and squeezed into a pew beside some wedding guests.
Later the bewildered mother quizzed her offspring. No, the child wasn't ill; she hadn't turned an ankle; no dire calamity had befallen. "I just sat down," she said simply, " 'cause I ran out of petals." A
At the cost per ounce the average woman's bathing suit sells at, it is estimated that a man's overcoat would cost $795.63.
A
A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to burgle the safe in a retail store. On the safe door he was much pleased to find a sign read;
>in9
"Please don't use dynamite. This safe is not locked. Just turn the knob." He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted and alarm bells started clanging. As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning; "My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken." A
A nation must make up its mind before it can make up its morals.
A
The optimist may be wrong more frequently than the pessimist but he's a darn sight happier.
A
The individual who is willing to admit faults has one less fault to admit. A
Just praise is a debt, and must be paid. A
A small boy came home from school one day proudly exhibiting a book, which he said he had won for accuracy in natural history.
"However did you do that?" asked his mother.
"The teacher asked us how many legs an ostrich has and I said three."
"But an ostrich only has two legs," his mother answered.
"I know, but all the rest of the class said four."
A
After Sunday morning service a woman stayed to chat with a friend, leaving her purse on the seat. When she returned it was gone but she soon found it in the possession of the pastor himself.
"I thought I had better hold it," he explained. "You must remember that there are some in the congregation who might consider it an answer to a prayer." A
In a little mining town there was an old man who had lived in the same house for fifty years. One day he surprised all his neighbors by moving into the house next door. Reporters were sent to see why he had moved. When they asked him, he replied,
"I guess it's just the gypsy in me." A
A porcupine gets no petting.