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BETTOR ENGLISH FOR HUNTERS, FISHERMEN AND POKER PLAYERS 85
Such poker slang, however, is not to be confused with some of the more serious, but far more rare, terms of the game as applied in certain locales. These terms are for special hands recognized in various parts of the country but which are illegitimate as far as Hoyle and the majority of poker players are concerned. Poker in the Deep South adds the "blaze" as a good hand, it being any five picture cards; and it beats two pair but loses to three of a kind. The "tiger" is another Southern addition, a hand with the 7 high and the deuce low, without pair, straight or flush, and it outranks a straight but loses to a flush.
The "skip," which is a hand of all even or all odd cards in sequence, such as 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10; or 5, 7, 9, Jack, King, is accepted in some places. In the South it beats any hand up to and including the "blaze." In the Pennsylvania mining country, where it has several local nicknames and is the only legitimate extra hand, it beats two pair but loses to three of a kind.
AS Hoyle, or any other authority, does not list such added hands, the rule of the house or host where the game is played must be taken as the final authority. One inveterate poker player found the meaning of such rule to his everlasting chagrin. The clubman, visiting in the South, sat down for a game in the back room of a neighborhood saloon in this certain Southern town.
The game progressed for several hands without incident, with poor hands and little betting. Then, with an exceptionally large pot at stake in
which the visitor, holding a straight flush, had deposited much coin, the lightning struck. Called, the clubman spread out his straight flush and be' gan to rake in the chips. "Hold on," barked the caller, "that's my pot." He displayed a sequence of 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 which he called a "Lollapalooza." The visitor objected until his attention was directed to a sign on the wall of the room. It read:
LOLLAPALOOZA 2-4-6-8' 10
BEATS ANYTHING.
The poker lover gave up the hand but kept it in mind. Much later he drew the Lollapalooza sequence and, as fortune would have it, the man who had previously beaten his straight flush was the final man in the pot with him. Raised and reraised, he finally called. The townsman laid down a full house. Then the visitor triumphantly exhibited his Lollapa' looza and started to rake in the chips. Again he was stopped.
"Friend," his opponent said, "I guess you didn't read that sign very carefully."
The fellow examined the sign more closely and learned something else about house rules and odd poker hands. Beneath the huge bold letters of the sign was a smaller line of very fine type:
(Only One A Night.)
But the ladies, well, they just refuse to learn to speak bettor English. And so, I repeat, man to man, I'm sure the grand old pastime will come back to us from its present place in the parlor, back to our back rooms and hideaways where we can call our cards as we see fit. Meanwhile, the ladies don't fear to call a spade a spade!