The Phonogram, Vol. 1:3 (1891-03)

THE PHONOGRAM. 6 1 ing through the beveled glass of its case; “ you claim to be strictly business; how much have you earned to-day for the frail bundles of flesh and bone for whom we work ? ” “Just how much I cannot tell; but in a single letter references were made that may result in gains of hundreds of dollars, while other letters were of much importance, and may secure large profits." “ Like enough,*’ responded the other; “ still these letters could have been taken ' the human voice or of instruments, argues a lack of power to reproduce with equal fidelity the far fewer tones required for bus- iness correspondence, goes at large, and his advice on the subject is taken by other Sol- omons of the same character. The proper way to deal with such sophistry is by push- ing the introduction of the phonograph as a practical aid in business offices, and this our enterprising phonograph companies are con- stantly doing without neglecting the very important financial advantages of the nickel by a stenographer, and by your own admis- sion you cannot tell just what they will re- sult in. Now, I can tell to a cent what I have earned. To-day I have taken in four- ■ • teen dollars, thirty-five cents; yesterday I took seventeen dollars odd, and the day be- fore, thirteen dollars, fifty cents. It seems to me this is a very practical application of the ponograph, and a decidedly business one to l>oot. I earn money absolutely, while . you only aid in business operations that would be carried! on had there never been a phonograph under heaven's broad canopy." • “ But,” said the business machine, “you will allow that many who hear the nickel-in- machine, go away with an impres- sion that this is all it is good for, and this interferes with the introduction of the pho- .nograph for office work." “ What you say," replied the slot-machine, “ is a splendid illustration of the inconsis- tency and weakness of reasoning of our matter-Of-fact business men outside of their accustomed business ruts. One who claim- ed that 4 steamer’s ability to make good fceadwa y against wind and tide argued a want of capacity to do as well with wind and tide in hefc favor, would be considered a fair candidate for the lunatic asylum; but the man who gravely concludes that a machine’s • capacity for perfect reproduction of all kinds of musical or unmusical sounds, whether of machine." 9 * • ’ 1 “ Well, brother," said the business ma- chine, “you have evidently thought con- siderably on these matters, while I have naturally given them less heed; but what can you say to the charge of its degrading the phonograph to engage in such picayune business, and that its use as an attraction in bar-rooms is an unmixed evil ? " “ To the first part of your question," re- plied the slot machine—“that the phono- graph is able to take such position without any degradation whatever. The picayune character of the business is common to all our daily papers, the steam-ferries, street- cars, and other enterprises of most undoubt- ed utility and respectability. The drawback of being used as an attraction in saloons, it shares with all fine furniture, plate-glass mirrors, musical instruments, and even the commonest articles of daily food; and this fact is no more a reflection on the phono- graph than on the other useful and attract- ive articles hsed in the same way. And now, as we are on the temperance question, and have talked ourselves dry, suppose we smile.” And, for the second time, the nickel machine smiled benignly through its beveled glass; but the business machine, having no glass, could only give a dry, short laugh, acknowledging that the other had rather the best of the argument.