Photoplay Magazine, January 1921 (anuary 1921)

THE Jgairret A.GNUTT RABIAN women are allowed to leave their homes but once in every seven days and they must spend their outing in the ceme- tery over the graves of deceased relatives. FOLLOWING the performance of Hamlet r by an old barnstorming actor in a small western city, the local paper carried the follow- ing criticism: The performance of Hamlet last night by the distinguished tragedian, , settles for all time the vexatious controversy as to whether Shakcsi>care or Bacon wrote the plays generally accredited to the former. Let the graves of both be opened at once. The one that turned over last night is the real author." MAUD: Carol is a wonderfully clever and absorbing conversational ist. Beatrix: She has other bad habits too. —Life. THKY'RE showing, by stow motion cameras, how baseball players purposely fumble balls to "throw** the games. To do the country a real service, someone should produce a slow motion picture that would reveal how collar buttons always fall under the dresser, how movie players change clothes by merely walking through a doorway, and why successful coffee merchants insist on going into the film business. EIGHT of the Hippodrome dancers come from, re- spectively, Cincinnati, Kanka- kee. 111., London, Greenwich Village, Copenhagen, Nash- ville, Flat bush and Kansas City. Now watch their femi- nine population dwindle. W T INCLE JOHN" SHELL of ^ LetUe County, Kentucky, attended a meeting of the Illi- nois health authorities in Chi- cago in November. He claims he is 132 years old. The Illi- nois healthy authorities, in an effort to raise the average life span, were to ask "Uncle Johnny's" advice, and while we didn't get that in press- time, we'll truer a year's sub- scription to the Congressional Record that he has chewed, smoked and cussed the re- formers all his life. BLANCHE SWEET'S press *■* agent asks us to believe that a certain young Italian in New York chiseled a love letter on marble and sent it to the star. A soft heart of stone, surely. This letter should last as long as that historic proposal of marriage, for the hand of a certain Egyptian princess, made 3,500 years ago and carved on a brick. It lies in the British museum. CHOPPER: I want to get ^ a fashionable skirt. Saleslady: Yes, madam. Will you have it too tight or too short?— Life. with the central skies. Illuminate his brow with a brightness that will make the fires of hell look like a tallow candle. Nail his hands to the gospel plough, and bow his head in some lone- some valley where prayer is much wanted to be said, and anoint him all over with the kerosene oil of Thy salvation and set him afire." -—Congressional Record. WILLIS: I told my wife we must begin to economize, and that she must keep account of the household expenses. Gtllis: Is she doing it? "She has made a start. She has bought a two-hundrcd-and-fifty-dollar desk, a three-hun- dred-dollar filing cabinet and has ordered asev- cti-lumdrcd-and-hftv-dollar adding machine." — Life. WE fought for the freedom of Cuba in '98 and and now we have to go there to enjoy it. —Cornell Widow. looked like professional gamblers. They roped me into a poker game against my protests and after I had told them that so far as I knew there was no card trick which I could not per- form. It was a no limit game and big sums changed hands rapidly. I had a roll of about $5,000, and had lost about half of it when I caught one of the gamblers cheating. I said ncthing. I had been playing straight, but there- after I showed no nuny, and when the game broke up 1 had doubled my money—or so I thought till the next day when I reached Chicago and tried to deposit it in a bank. Then I found out that I had not been playing with profes- sional gamblers at all. There was just one lone twenty-dollar bill in my roll that was good. The remainder, $9,980. was contcrfeit." "ACCORDING to this magazine." said Mrs. '"J* nA T was an awfully big tip you gave the *» Pincher, "sliced onions scattered about a ««* ai ™ r '.Si ,- • ■ «* room will absorb the odor of fresh paint." _ Got \° J°»y "■» alon ,g. dar l> n K v ., He owns "I suppose that's right," # rejoined Pincher. the apartment house we live in. — Life. "Likewise, a broken neck will relieve catarrh!" _ _.,., « Tt , T -.« ., ., . . Tit-Bits I E " I'lLLDS wants to stage tabloid musical *-• comedies on the big transatlantic liners. He THE largest buoy in the world has just been declares that the girls in his musical comedy, finished in England. It is made of steel "The Poor Little Ritz Girl," would doubtless plates three-eighths of an inch thick, and has be willing to play gratis for the_ sake of a two weeks* vacation on the ocean. ]\AARION DAVIES has had iVA her feet insured for $300,000. Presently this craze will spread to the bathing girl division, and then—could < libraltar stand the test? ACCORDING to Fabre. the f^ great French^ naturalist, insects have anticipated many of our great inventions. Long before man discovered formic acid, the bee used it to pre- serve its honey from fermenta- tion. ;ir,d both the bee and the wasp used hypodermic needles before man thought of them. The first suspension bridge was buikt by the spider, which also made airships and diving bells thousands of years ago. Man cannot imitate the •rax made by the bee, nor can he approach the silkworm as a silk spinner and manufacturer. The ant has been making sub- ways and tunnels since the dawn of history, and the mason bee constructed cement works centuries before we made use of this substance for buildings. I RECEIVED a letter from a 1 friend in America, the other day, and was interested in the unusual method he had adopt- ed of affixing the stamp, says a writer in Sketch. It was explained # in the letter post- script, which said: "Please ex- cuse the safety-pin: but we are too drv over here to lick stamps."— Sketch. a law requiring mooring-bar passes through its center, capable of AN English newspaper has discovered a milk- breaking strain of one hundred ** maid who wears a monocle. 1 h<-t<>tfi-'i'i) by i>iiii"-ii liulum W HEN a youngblood in rural Belgium want? to feel like half a if they are of wood? Are they not painted up with buttons, buttonholes and seams — just like any $10 pair of American shoes retailing* for $18? Burton Holmes discovered these during a trip through Belgium. A forged iron THE police bureau of missing persons of New four watertight compartments. * York advocates the passing of a law requiring mooring-bar r physicians, when filing birth certificates, to in- withstanding elude the finger-prints of a new-born child, thus and eighty-five tons. On the outside of the "furnishing scientific identification of every per- buoy is a wooden fender, made of elm, which A VENTRILOQUIST went into a public- son from the cradle to the grave." protects it from collisions. The buoy itself, with **■ house with a small dog. Putting the doe on mooring-bar, weighs fifteen tons. Lying along- the counter, he ordered a glass of beer. When A CELEBRATED revivalist came to address his side the giant is a three-foot buoy, the smallest it was brought the dog remarked, "Aint there ** flock, and before he began to speak the pas- type now made, looking like a mere watch-chain no beer for me? Give me a sip!" tor said: "Brother Tones, before you begins this pendant beside its big brother. The publican was much impressed, and event- discourse, there are some powerful bad negroes ually succeeded in buying the dog for £25. in this here congregation, and I want to pray C*\NE of America's most famous professional The ventriloquist stood talking for a while for you," which he did in this fashion: ^-' magicians and sleight-of-hand performers tells and then left the bar, but before he went the "O Lord, gives Brother Jones the eye of the this one on himself: dog said: "Well. I do call that a dirty trick eagle, that he may see sin from afar. Glue his "I was coming from San Francisco to, Chi- to do on a pal! I'm hanged if I speak again ear to the gospel telephone, and connect him cago, and on the train were three men who for twelve months!" 67