Show World (July 1909)

THE SHOW WORLD 5 i NELLIE REVELL; HER GABALOGUES Dear Bunch: What do I know about, flats?' Well, am here to say to you that I know all there i: know about : flats. I mean apart¬ ments. There is a distinction without a differ¬ ence. Everyone I have met since I have been in New York has said. “Nell, you should get an apartment; you ■ would be so comfortable and homelike. Get ■ I cook your meals 9SK&S . for you." And then I did, and : NELLIE REVELL. p^on that talks * sjfc apartments or flats to me I will uncork some of T these long-laid-away-in-moth-balls ad- jectives which help make the side I shows famous (or infamous). Mine, ! or what was mine, was an apartment . because it was over $50 and a bakery. 1 And I never thoroughly appreciated Poe’s “Raven” before. I know now \ just how he felt, only worse, and one 1 more night in that apartment and I would be down in Mattawan playing i; pinochle with Harry Thaw. I would c rather be back to the simple life of a i circus car with the opposition cover- >1 ing on every side. That First Night. First night in the apartment, 1:30 , p. m. and me in the land of Morpheus i getting my beauty sleep and dreaming defiance to the beauty doctors, hair adulators, massage creams, papier 1 poudre, violet water and milk baths, ' when I am rudely awakened with a ' noise something like a boiler yard and e ‘ Coney Island on a busy day, and the apartment next to mine is brilliantly I illuminated and a sketch team who “‘had been playing the Frankfurter cir- J cuit between Hoboken and Weehaw- : ken burst into the apartment. The , lady member of the team uttered a squawk about how it was his fault that they missed the 12:30 boat and ; had to wait till 1:30 and come across II the ferry with Steele and Gettit, who were always stealing their act and in¬ timated that if the gentleman member • of the team would spend more time : catching ferries instead of talking to 11 yellow-haired single acts, this could never have come off. The gentleman intimated that he was not to be both¬ ered; that he was obliged to write a parody for the act. and that he had to fit it in, when the lady rebelled, say¬ ing that he could not put that parody Is In just ahead of her ballet as it would f: cra h her act and she was a performer when he was working on the B. & O. used to book. Red Raven (split) weeks. But ever since I let Bill Mor¬ ris head line me for those sixty weeks I have been black listed by the United. But Bill was a friend of mine and I wanted to help him out. Now what do you think of a performer with my reputation having to haunt an agent’s office looking for work? You bet I never talk to their underlings. I go up and talk to the old man himself. I call Martin Beck, Martin, and Albee, Ed—that is, I would call them that if I. could get to them, but, of course, the office boys don’t know me and I can’t get past them. But pipe till I tell- you what Bill Morris said to me today. He said, “Ben” (he always calls me by my first name), “I have completed my circuit of 5,001 weeks and I want you to take the first con¬ tract.” I told him it -was no use, that while I liked him and the 5,000 weeks were, all right, that odd week was rubbing .it in. Those guys think I never want a vacation. Why, I have to take a week off and go down and paint my barn. So they were turned down just like a bottle of champagne at a Woman’s Christian Temperance meeting. I may accept an offer from K. & E. next season. Henry Savage wants me for the “Love Cure,” but I don’t care to create any new roles. Saved by a Laugh. Just when I was figuring on break¬ ing in on the melee I heard a laugh from across the way ringing so full of humanity and the milk of human kind¬ ness that the very sound of it made my apartment into the crystal palace of delight that beat Andrew Carne¬ gie’s slag heap on Madison avenue and. Ninety-first street to a fare-you- well. You may have heard melodious laughs but nothing equal to this one. Only one person in the world pos¬ sesses a laugh like that and her name is Mrs. Newlywed, and she is the in¬ spiration for George McManus’ cele¬ brated cartoons in the World of the “Newlywed’s and Their. Baby.” When that laugh floated across the area-way, dancing and prancing and splashing and dashing and making merry around the apartment, I felt so at peace with the world that I believe if I’d been on a bill posting car, I’d have supplied the opposition with paper. Back to the pad for me and just when I was dreaming that Martin Beck had given . me a whole page “ad” and that Pat Casey gave me a subscription for ten thousand papers for the Salvation Army to distribute ’ or that Eddie Pigeon and John Pollock had both quit trying to make us believe their monkey-faced proteges were cousins . of ours not many times removed, I was again startled into wakefulness by the gentlemanly chauffeurs and air ship tenders who occupy ,,the garage next door, to “The Apartment”—a dog show and a lunatic asylum is a pleas¬ ant diversion compared to this gentle¬ manly bunch of criminal sleep de- . stroyers. Wanted Gas Early. Back again to the land that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care, only once more to be brought to a stern realiza¬ tion by the lady-like maid of the apartment ringing the telephone, ask¬ ing the gas company to come and make an attachment to the gas range, and this at 3 a. m. Sleep once more when a long, dark-blue, shrill whistle comes up the tube and after a vocif¬ erous demand, “What do you want,” comes this startling information: “I have come for Mr. Lawson’s pants. He told me to get them yesterday and I forgot, so me mudder made me get up and come down here now so I wouldn’t lose me job.” Quietly, gently and firmly (yes it was), I informed him that I was not in possession of Mr. Lawson’s pants and furthermore, I did not care for Mr. Lawson or the aforementioned garment and to}d the kid in as few .words, as possible, using a vocabulary I thought within his understanding, that if he didn’t go away from that tube I would break his neck. About 4 a. m. the milkman rang the bell and inquired if we were going to take milk from him, that the former occupants of the apartment had fa¬ vored him with their business. I told him yes, for heaven’s sake to bring me up two bottles, of milk at once. “I can’t,” was the reply, “I have only milk for my regular customers; all I wanted to know was whether you cared to be a customer or not.” At 8 a. m. a hard-faced monstrosity entered the apartment and announced that he had been sent by the gas com¬ pany to make an attachment to the gas stove. Sav, if that face was capa- ELOCUTION TEACHER IS FATALLY STABBED Eliza Warren, Former Actress, is Attacked by Demented Sister In Her Studio. CLEVELAND, Ohio, July 26; — Miss Eliza Warren, a well known actress and head of a local school of , — .o -.- —. elocution and acting, was fatally she would not let anybody queer stabbed today by her sister, Mrs. Mary Sutton, who was temporarily demented. The encounter occurred in Miss Warren’s down town studio, in the Republic building on Euclid ave¬ nue. Recently Mrs. Sutton lost a son and she has grieved over his death her art. The Kitchen Uprooted. This was followed by a shower of ' cooking utensils and everything that would tend to make life pleasant for the gentleman, and incidently for the neighbors, and when she had entirely exhausted her ammunition, she ended ' the argument by sweetly asking him n he knew where she had put the onions as she wanted to fry some for ! her hearths delight. Now if there is anything in the world that is inducive 11 1° wsoiration, or that will coddle my i angelic disposition it is the odor of tried onions that come wafting up the court at 1:30 a. m. At this interest- ; « ng .L 01nt a gentleman friend called ■ ° n |nem and the lord of the manor , e Proceedings bv saying, w r you think of Kid Albee hw Smith star tinK a book- ng offi ce? for that . To always until it is thought her mind was. turned. Miss Warren has been living at Mrs., Sutton’s home, but last night both remained in the studio. Miss Warren was awakened by her sister who stabbed her . three times. In at¬ tempting to take the knife from her sister, Mrs. Sutton also was severely cut. Miss Warren was rescued by the building engineer, who burst in the studio door. Both were taken to the hospital. bie of forming an attachment to any-, thing short of a battle axe, I miss my guess. A Letter from “Home.” At 9:30 I left the flat, breakfastless because said attachments, between • Frosty Face, the cook, and my gas range had not been made. On the steps I was greeted by the postman with a letter in the familiar hand¬ writing' of my: daughter. Here, I thought, is balm for all .of my woes. But first I must give you a little in¬ troduction so you will : understand why I was a fit subject for an ambu¬ lance after reading the letter. Now, all of you who know me and many of you who do not know ;me, know that I am-the proud mother.of .twin daugh¬ ters, for whom I have lived on coffee and rolls half of my life in order to educate them ■ and keep them away from the temptations of the world. And one ‘ of the many and gratified desires of my life was to own a pan¬ ama hat, but as I never could see my way clear, and thinking the daugh¬ ters would each like one, I purchased two very- handsome ones for fifty dol¬ lars last year in San Francisco, and after decorating them with becoming Roman bands sent them down to the farm to the daughters without ex¬ plaining to them that they had cost over $1.50. When I opened the letter from them yesterday, this was what it contained: “Dear Mother: “Little Jimmy Reed had no hat to wear to Sunday school so I gave him the old straw one you sent me last summer.” She had given him the twenty-five dollar panama. Now what chance have I got? I take this opportunity to thank my many friends and readers of the Show World for their kind wishes and ex¬ pressions sent to me. The many let¬ ters I liave received will be an incen¬ tive to spur me on to better efforts. Should I sometimes use a little line that opens a blue vein, it is the fault of the head, and not the heart. Write me when you will, and if I do not answer your letter it is lack of oppor- tunty, not inclination. Have your mail addressed in my care and come and see me when you are in town. The latch string hangs out. NELL. STARKEY SKIPS OUT; PP ' EMPLOYEES NOT PAID Ballast Point Manager Leaves His Post Without Notice and ; fgfrft Stage Hands Want ^Their Money. TAMPA, Fla., July 26. — W. H. known to the members of, the com- Starkey, who for the past several pany until they assembled at the Ca- weeks has been manager of the dra- sino last night for the nightly per- matic troupe which has been holding formance. Whether Mr. Starkey owed 0 m fj- I brought him a fancy vest forth at Ballast Point, sprung a sur- bills is not known yet, but it is known - a? 1 was down south playing prise on his friends by suddenly leav- that he did not pay off his employes 1 ot mose cracked weeks that he ing the city. His departure was not last Saturday. THE MISSOURI GIRL TO OPEN ON JULY 31. Merle H. Norton’s “The Missouri Girl” will ooen at Sycamore, Ill., July 31 and as that is the only date which the company gives that section of the: state, the entire county is being billed. Joseph Rith will manage the com¬ pany; A! H. Oake will go in advance, and Kathryns Cameron, Lulu Neth¬ away, J. Elmer Grimm, C. E. Yar- nell and Dorothy Dowling will be members of the company. A charac-- ter old man and an ingenue are needed' to complete the cast. The route is as' follows: Sycamore, Ill., July 31;- Watseka, Ill., Aug. 2; Fowler, Ind., 4; Oxford, 5; Williamsport, 6; West Lebanon, 7; Westville, Ill.. 8: Attica, Ind., 9; Covington, 10; Cayuga, 111: Chrisman Ill., 12; Waveland, Ind., 13;- Clinton, 14; Terre Haute 15; Shelburn,' 16; Hjrmera, 17; Sullivan, 18; Oak-' town, 19; Mount Carmel, Ill.; 20; Tell'; City, Ind., 22; Huntingburg, 23; Cyn-: thiana, 24; New Harmony, 25; Gray- ville, 26; McLeansboro, 27; Norris: City, 28; Harrisburg, 30; Benton, 31. Lester Cuneo Recovering. Lester Cuneo, writing from Hutchi-' son, Kan., says: “Your paper is re¬ ceiving wonderful popularity in this section of the country.” It may be recalled that Cuneo, a young leading' man, was recently operated upon for' serious ear .troubles, artd is rapidly recovering his strength. He intends: to come to his Chicago home for fur¬ ther recuneration and to prepare fpr the coming season. liked rr. Hussey’s Complete 98 Weeks. Mr. and Mrs. Geo. W. Hussey, the “Musical Ventriloquists,” have just finished 98 weeks in vaudeville. Next season they will be seen in a new act.