Show World (October 1909)

October 2, 1909. THE SHOW WORLD COOD VAUDEVILLE F OR COOP THEATER MR THEATER MANAGER: Isn’t it reasonable to suppose that the BEST TALENT will seek that agency which treats the artist with courtesy at all times and which has the same respect for the women of the stage as fo r th e membe_r_s__of it DON’T YOU V ELCOAMUSEIVIEIMT company 612 Ashland Block, CHICAGO PHONE RANDOLPH 3678 FOR GOOD SINGERS AND PIANISTS. RICARDO WRITES HOT REPLY TO J. E. IRVING Secretary of Actors’ Union Launches a Few Scathing Re¬ marks at the Head of United Booking Agency Chicago, Ill., Sept. 27. Mr. Charles Moreland, Show World Rep¬ resentative, Chicago, Ill.: Dear Sir—In the last issue of The Shqw World, I read an article con¬ tributed by I. E. Irving, the kid the¬ atrical agent; I had full knowledge of this letter and Its contents several days before It was sent to The Show World. It is a well-known fact that the young man was not the author of same, but the name of the writer is well known. The kid agent is far from being too thick-skulled and intelligent to he re¬ sponsible for such a write-up, however the joke and roast was so good that I made no effort to check its publica¬ tion, which I could have done, had I cared to do so. It is rarely I get such a roast that I will give the kid credit and tell him that It was a peach. The bunch around the union club rooms are laughing at It yet: they are all under the impres¬ sion that the kid was mad, when he had the letter written. “Of course he was, can you blame him?” The “Kid” in his artificial article uses the words of “My Dear Mr. Ri¬ cardo.” It Is seldom that I am called by such pet names, that I rather ap¬ preciate it Bakes Up Bygones. The kid agent still labors under the delusion that I am pinching him, be¬ cause he Is younger than I am, and has not been a has been—poor boy—it is better to have been a has been than a novor been nor no V er Will be. ds 14 years’ experi- years ^sound funny. sweeper in the Clark street Museum, ' not many years ago. Of course, sweep¬ ing 1 the floor of a museufn, that is shot? business, and no doubt those years are added to his actual experience as an 'actor. It is strange what wonder¬ ful; "marks” spring up over night in the amusement world. I think that the kid Is somewhat of an egotist for he thinks of the wonderful things he could do were he ten years younger and pos¬ sessed the same knowledge that he has Sa Those 1 abolished, the theatrical agent is the real slave now.” Poor fellow, you must have been overlooked. So you mention that you have been sitting up both night and day-filling places of disap¬ pointments caused by unreliable artists. . Why, I did not think that you handled unreliable people. You ought to be pinched for allowing yourself to he im¬ posed upon. Say, kid, why don’t you; call a policeman and have the actors arrested? There is a screw loose some¬ where. I will tell you what to do, kid. You quit being a slave for actors and get yourself an honest job. There is plenty of work to be had. They are putting in a new sewer on Kedzfe ave¬ nue, and they want strong and husky young men. I am acquainted with the foreman, and if you say so I will speak to him for you . Not Out Collecting. So, kid, you really think that you kept actors from starving, and you loaned to them one whole $100, and they were union actors, too, and now they won’t pay you? Why, the naughty things! If you will send me the names of the actors, I will send them back and see if they can’t work you for an¬ other hundred. You meant in your article that I might collect the amount for you. No, I am not running a col¬ lecting agency for agents, only for were up against this kind of a propo¬ sition not long ago, and oh, how you did talk! New Salve Discovered. readily see what is hooked in. his sixty houses. That Is cheap advertis¬ ing. We read and hear so much about 60 and 64 houses, that the artists are besinnhig to think that he really has Bandies a Pew Epithets. So, kid, I did not think that such an honest young man as you claim your¬ self to he would tell such a fib. How¬ ever I win ten the truth and you can endorse it, for it is no disgrace if you cartnot be entirely honest, but be as honest as you possibly can, and say 10 houses,” that is nearer. You know that you never had 60 or half of the number of theaters, so don’t four-flush, for the life of the four-flusher is a short one. Don’t say "open book sys¬ tem—aay double-book system, the open book and the hidden book—you knbw, kid, and so do we. The kid agent slams a few lines at what he calls “home defenders.” It seems strange that these “home de¬ fenders” are always working and even booked some of his joints over his head an 4 refusing to have their name signed to; any paper that had . the name of U.lB. A. on it. The team of Stout & Jack, the agita¬ tors, whom you- love so well, they are always working. Ed. Stout, this is the man you called a first-class liar through Thfe Show World. Ed. feels highly com¬ plimented for a first-class liar Is a credit to his country. Such persons at times get good government jobs. Ed. thinks that honest persons should de¬ liver such compliments In person and not through the press, when there is no way of responding in person. I see, Rid, that you are not-well versed In history. You say “while slavery was BISON FILMS *" Trade Mark DRAMATIC Code Word, “Recent’ Approximate Lenflh 1060 Feel NEW YORK MOTION PICTURE CO. Manufacturers ol “Bison” Life Mot cor. 26th St. Indian u« m o, »T 1 r t Cl "Dove Eye’s Gramuae, vm •ut™r New! ork City of the most intense dramatic productions «. ~ Phone 4084 Madison Square • “lored *4 *>.*«? * 401116 **“?+** ' Kid, you are a mystery to us fellows. Some of your stunts in open air, almost compel us to believe that there Is a soft spot in your garret. Do you realize what a laughing stock you made of yourself, by going .to John Fitzpatrick, president of the Federation of Labor, and, with tears in your eyes, begging him to force local No, 4 (the actors union) to raise the ban on your office? It must have been a sorrowful moment for you when he referred you back to local No. 4, with the Information that while we were affiliated with'that body, they had no jurisdiction we had it o Say, kid, the hundred that you say you loaned to the artist has got the actors a guessing. They are wondering where you got it, as It is a well-known fact that you had no money to put into the united agency. It was your partner, Mr. Washburn, that financed the institution, considering this equal to your wonderful brain power and busi¬ ness knowledge, of which you speak so much about, hut poor Washburn, he looks sad and gloomy—-he is to be pitied. No doubt he realizes that he has fast¬ ened himself on the largest lemon that has ever struck Chicago. The kid is still claiming' that the U. B. A- is paying the summer scale demanded by the actors’ union, and are on the unfair list, simply • because they refuse to book a few soreheads. Don’t worry, kid, there has been a new salve discovered lately called “unfair salve,” and is the quickest healer on earth. All of the soreheads are well now and working. The soreheads which run up into the thousands, are not sore be¬ cause you would not book them, but they did not like the idea of young snipes sneaking into the theatrical agency business and becoming dictators. It is true that you are now paying the scale, not willingly, but because you have to, and you are now trying to redeem yourself. Had we not nipped you in time there would be more artists booked out of your corral at the old scale instead of the new one. Artists Play a Joke. Kid, you want to open that upper story of yours. Don’t think because an artist springs a joke on the stage, that when they come to you with a demand, that they are joking. The joke that you tried to spring on them when you Sent word to the actors’ union also gave to the ’ various papers the news for publication, “that you were glad that the artists had you on the unfair list, and that you hoped that they would keep you there for at least four weeks, as it had increased your business double.” The actor’s didn’t like that joke, for it was not original. The art¬ ists are a rather accommodating class, and seeing that you were so well pleased with your situation they thought that it would he a bigger joke to put you on the unfair list and keep you there. — Suggests a Nurse. Kid, you do such foolish things that I believe bs others do, you should he In charge of a nurse. It must be awful torture after making all sorts of bluffs and four-flushing statements, to have your critical condition exposed. Don’t worry, kid, you are young and will learn. There were much brighter and brainier theatrical agents in Chicago than you are, who were forced to the wall by the same methods that you have adopted, and by the very mis¬ takes which you are making now. The kid agent seems to think that I read English badly. When I analyzed the few lines where he said “an actor, to make good, must please him and the managers,” he said what he meant, was that wffen an actor pleases the public, then he pleases both him and the man¬ ager, but his lines did not read just that way. Now, kid, how about the actors who are closed when showing to empty seats, and the managers says “you are shut?” Don’t say public, kid, they have little or nothing to say about the matter; , it’s the-manager, and in many cases he knows as much about an act as a hog does about running a go-Cart and you, as a judge of an act, know much less. The kid agent seems to be worried ' about my eye sight. By all appearances he thinks I hurt my' eyes looking into some of the cases that he ; reported to me at divers times, where actors got drunk or disappointed. There is an¬ other blunder of the kid’s, so I will have to enlighten him some. You see, kid, as local No. 4 of the actors’ union is not here for the benefit of the theatrical agencies, all such reports, are usually received with a smile and the actor, who at the end of the month, has--turned the most and best tricks on an agent, “he is the hero-of the hour.” Don’t worry, kid, you have failed to convince me, neither do I intend to let'you. Just see that the actors (what few you are booking) get their money, union or .no union-—if you don’t, I will Talks of the Foie. I also .note that the kid agent seems to be worried: about my mind. He seems to think that it must be on Dr. Cook and the north pole. I am sorry that the kid mixed me up with Peary and Cook, for I tried to keep out of that mix-up. But, if the secret must he told. I might as well let the kid know that I was the real discoverer of the north pole, hav¬ ing discovered it a few years ago. I made no fuss about it. I simply went to the north pole, found the pole and pulled it out of the earth. Placing same on my shoulder, I brought it back to Chicago and presented it to the Ringljng brothers. They are now using it as a center pole. So, kid, your thoughts were Wrong. To put you a little wise, kid, of my thoughts of late, they were on the United Booking offices, wondering what a wonderful torture it must he to see your once pet business going fast to the wall. The kid, in one of his articles, gives me credit for being so honest that I believe everything I hear. In closing his letter he places me amongst the crooks, but the wording of his few lines however are so quoted that it would require the services of a number of lawyers to cipher out Just what he did mean. If he refers to-me as being a thief, is not the kid aware of the fact that it is only a thief who thinks that everybody else ts' ar tlrief?- __ understand why I do not accept his Invitation which I have re¬ ceived by letter, ’phone and verbal, to visit his office. The poor kid is under the impression that I am afraid that some one might get a look at my hooks and then I would lose my job. To try and ease his mind and not let him worry, there is a large vault in the office, and I am the only one who knows the com¬ bination, so don’t worry, kid, I usually see that they are in a secure place. It is easily seen that you know noth¬ ing about organizations. You see that I am only clerk here, and make entries ' in the book. The union owns them, they also have an auditing committee who examines them, and when they are not correct they are the ones who make the complaints, but so far they have sent in flattering reports. Somehow you make an awful lot of blunders. But it seems, kid, you are not brainy enough to take a hint without a kick. Why should I degrade myself by ac¬ cepting invitations to visit your office? I have no business there. I am not going around to the different theatrical agents selling grievances. The union furnished me with a comfortable office, and when you have trouble to settle, call on me at any time. When I want to belittle myself and the institution I represent, I will accept your invita¬ tion, thank you. In closing your article, you would not impose upon the good nature of The Show World. I take it that you have decided to refrain from sending in any more foolish articles. We are sorry to hear that, for some who have known you for years state that your articles are funnier than the Salome dance, when you borrowed the skirts from Blanche. S. D. RICARDO, Secretary Local No. 4, A. N. P. 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