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J > BUY BONDS 15 TEA FOR THREE. The Friend ..Arthur Byron The Wife Margaret Lawrence The Husband Frederick Perry The Maid Kathryn Keyes The Valet William Foatanoe "Tea for Three," by Bol Cooper Megrue, produoed by Selwyn ft Co. at the Maxtne Elliott Sept. 10, Is billed as "an angle on the triangle," by which la meant a new twist to the eternal tralngle situation. The first night audience enjoyed It Immensely, and whatever drawing power It possesses will be In the higher priced seats. The "moral" and the subtlety, developed via epigrams, are quite too clever for the general population. The smart people are certain to flock to it, and when these patrons have been exhausted the true test of the play's drawing power will be demonstrated. As a reflection of an actual situation in the - present day life In New York, one could tear the plot to shreds, but for the purposes of en- tertainment it might suffice. Somewhat along - the lines of "Dlvorcons," a sweet young woman Is happily married to a man absorbed in his business, but who adores her. The hus- band Is Jealous of -an old college mate with wiom the wife had had a flirtation when she was 17 and who comes to tea once a week. The friend persuades the wife to steal away to lunch with him, where he tells her the reason he Is a bachelor and a "flltterer" Is because he lores her still, and although there Is unmistakable evidences he would like to possess her, she appeals to his better self and persuades him to be a true friend. The subject of the husband's Jealousy is dis- cussed, and the wife hits upon a plan to cure him of it, so the friend will once more be wel- come at the house. Aa she starts to unfold It In the corner of the restaurant and the waiter is ordered to lower the shade to shut out the sun, and the first scene of the first act concludes. After a few seconds the scene Is switched to the home of the married couple. Husband is waiting tea, but his wife hasn't returned. She finally comes, explaining she had been shopping and lunching with "Ethel." Later the friend comes for tea,, and Inciden- tally mentions to the. husband he bad lunched With the wife and hadn't seen "Ethel" In weeks. The plans arranged by the friend and the wife to cure the husband of his jealousy had somehow miscarried, as the stories do not Jibe. As the husband is called to the phone In another room the friend steals the wife's pic- ture standing on the. piano," and when the nus- band returns and misses it, wife says the frame had 1 broken that morning and she had left it to be repaired. Husband had been look- ing at the picture a few minutes before, and this, together with the luncheon fibbing, weak- ens L .s faith In his wife. In the second act he drops in on the friend, Is dismissed by the friend, who explains he •has a rendezvous with a married woman. The husband leaves, seeing bis wife's car at the door. Meantime she had been ushered Into an adjoining room by the valet The husband returns and the wife Is secreted. Husband Is in a frenzy of jealousy, says both can't live, and suggests the remedy outlined In a story the friend had related, of a husband and a . lover, both anxious to possess a wife, drawing lots to see which one would kill himself. They draw, the friend gets the fatal slip of paper and 1b to kill himself within 24 hours. He tells the husband that before be goes he is bound by no moral obligations and intends to steal the wife. Husband departs, saying he will protect his wife, and the friend dictates a letter to his valet-secretary (thereby avoid- ing the usual" telephone metbod of develop- ment), giving the true reason. tor his un- timely demise, addressed to a friend on the staff >f the Herald, but asking him not to try and guess the name of the woman. This la 7.20 In the evening. - Act three la again In the home of-the mar- ried folks, the following afternoon. The hus- band is on edge, had phoned several times to the friend, seeking an excuse for calling off the whole affair, ~ut meantime determined the friend shall not steal his wife. He won't go to his business and won't let her out, saying „ they will goi together after 7.30. 'The Even- ing Telegram" is brought in, on the front page of which is an account of the suicide of the friend. Wife accuses husband of being re- sponsible for it, hysterically crvlng she had lost a friend whom she loved better than any- one else In the world, next to her husband, and that husband had ruined their lives. In the midst of it in walks the friend, and when shown the paper, explains to them the publication was premature owing to the too previous mailing of his letter to his newspaper friend. Husband is phoned for and friend ex- plains to wife he had had one co~~ of the Telegram printed and delivered to the house at a cost of $87. Husband returns, explains his big real estate deal was consummated, he would pay more attention to bis wife, would permit her more leeway, that the friend must come often and take her out, and ue was, in short, cured of his jealousy. Barring the valet and tbe maid there are but three people in the cast, xue absence of other characters prevents any subsidiary situ- ations, and necessitates prolonged duologs and _ triolog? aJld. constant renetiHon»-..ot oonversa^. tlori. This is partially compensated tor by innumerable Shavian and Oscar Wilde epi- grams, a few of which are here set down: "Pity Is akin to love. That's why so many women pity tbelr husbands."—"I hate Phillip. What have you ever done to him?"—"We never discuss our friends pleasantly."—"No man Is so bad a woman can't find an excuse for him,"—"Good women are unfaithful only . in their thoughts."—"All sensible wives lie to their husbands, if only to please them."— "Sometimes I tell the truth ; It's the only vice I have."—"It's a grave Insult to Insinuate a woman couldn't be unfaithful If she wanted to."—"The only amusing countess I ever met was a chorus girl."—"There are two kinds of fools, those who give.advice and those who won't take it."—"There is nothing so absorb- ing as the love of a married woman, and few married men realize it."—"He was lying and, of course, I was, eo I had to say I wasn't."— "What do you expect me to say?" "The truth." "You're an optimist" Arthur Byron as the friend contributed an Intelligent but not quite natural performance. He wasn't just the romantic type. A John Barrymore would have been ideal. Frederick Perry as the husband was excellent, and Mar- garet Lawrence, who has been oil the stage for a number of years, was a sensational success. It Is not easy to Imagine any other actress doing It better, or as well. Joto. HUMPTY-DUMPTY. Albert Mott fc Otis Skinner John ■ Delamothe Fleming Ward General, the Hon. Henry Delamothe, John's uncle Morton Seltoa Viscount Loosehanger Robert Harrison Hlgglnbotbam Ernest Elton Jopllng Robert Bntwtatle Puttlck. William Evllle James Wallop John Rogers Sinking. .Walter Bcott Lady Susan Delamothe. Maud Milton Nancy Delamothe. Ruth Rose Mrs. Mott ..Beryl Mercer Crlasie Parkins ...Elizabeth Rlsdon Mrs. Rogers, ..Clara T. Braoy Horace Annesley Vachell is the author of this ultra-English old-fashioned comedy, in which Otis Skinner takes the leading role, now at the Lyceum. "Humpty-Dumpty" tells the tale of an Eng- lish hairdresser, devoted to his art, who, by a twist of fortune, leaves bis establishment at Swashcombe-on-the-Sea to become tbe Earl of Delamothe. With him, over her- protests, goes bis mother, simple-minded and desper- ately clinging to the old life. Much of the comedy 1s Introduced into the scenes where Albert Mott Is shaving a cross customer, and again where he appears grotesquely, but boy- ishly In the unaccustomed robes of nobility, after he has taken bis seat in the House of Lords. Pathetic scenes - are plentiful In the mani- festations of affection between the simple old mother and her clever son, and In the sadness which comes over her when she loams her parlor behavior Is pleblan and unfashionable. Beryl Mercer, as Mrs. Mott. tbe barber's mother, gains much applause as the old lady. Elizabeth Rlsdon, as Crlssle, the hairdresser's assistant, was moat effective and has a won- derful English accent with regular Cockney twang, and tbe most infectious smile imagin- able. She was typical of her class, from which many of the handsome barmaids In the fash- ionable cafes and restaurants In London are recruited. Morton Selton also pleased the audience with his excellent characterization of the Hon. Henry Delamothe and Fleming Ward aa Cousin John D. Delamothe gave a manly charming impersonation. The finished way in which Mr. Skinner han- dled a razor- showed patient preparation for the part and he could give any of the so- called barbers on Broadway lessons In shav- ing. His flow of talk while he was operating upon a customer was most amusing and had the audience In roars. Whether New York wants a play like "Humpty-Dumpty" remains to be.seen. It Is not tbe kind of comedy Metropolitan theatre- goers have been receiving for the last few years. It Is Intensely "homely" English, and there Is a lack of the usual number of snobs which are Invariably thrown In to give the average play an English flavor. TELL THAT ToThE MARINES. Hein Schulz. a Grocer Adolf Phlllpp Helen, his Daughter Georgia Lee Hall Charlie, his Son .Joseph Striker Jere Thurston, a Banker... Philip Lord Tom, his Son Chauncey M. Kelm Maud Hopkins, a Manicure Girl... Cecil Kern Bill-Hopkins, her Brother Jack Bernard Abraham Shlnegold Albert C. Winn Maria Mueller Marie Pert Carl Frumstadt John Hanson Augusta, Servant with Schulz. ...Elsie Smith Did you ever hear the story of the audience at a Yiddish theatre downtown-which raised a rumpus because their evening's entertain- ment was over at 11.15 Instead of tbe usual . midnight? Adolf Phlllpp, erstwhile German actor, author, manager, wbo now presents an American play, by American authors, with an American cast, seems possessed of the same sort of Idea in 'Tell That to the Marines, ,r a comedy drama in three acts written by him- self and Edward A. Paul ton. One gets the Im- pression that an attempt was essayed for quan- tity of entertainment. The first two acts con- sumed one hour each, and the third wasn't so much shorter. With regard to quality, It Is a bad play—a very bad one, crudely constructed and amateur- - .Ish---.tn--.tr*3tin*Gt - Tbs obvloorplotts strung out by constant repetitions of dialog and situations. A modern American stage director would have blue-penciled one-third the dialog, quickened the "business," and In a dozen and one other ways smarted the production. On the other hand, the aforesaid American Btage director, for the purposes of assimila- tion of Adolf Phlllpp's old clientele on the upper East Side radiating from the York- vllle Theatre, might bave proved unsatisfac- tory. The German-American audience seems to take huge delight In the easy progression of the story of tbe play and accepts with relish the comedy relief interruptions. The. drama by Messrs. Phlllpp and Paulton tells tho story of a prosperous grocer (Phlllpp) who sends his son to Yale. Tbe day he is due to return be Is visited by a manioure girl, who says the boy pronlsed to marry her. It develop* his college chum, meeting the girl, In a spirit of mischief had given the name of the grocer's son. The chum is en- gaged to the grocer's daughter, and rather than Injure his sister the boy takes the blame of the thing. He quarrels with his father over it and joins the colors. Tbe old man finds out his mistake in tbe last act, the boy re- turns wounded, the father of tbe other boy buys off tbe vampire manicure and all ends happily. <• •.' •■ A portion of the dialog Is devoted to patri- otic propaganda designed to Impress the Ger- man-Americans, and judging by the applause accorded these outbursts they take to it with avidity. /«*>. DARKEST~AMERICANS. The title of the two-act (eight scenes) musl- cal comedy which Salem Tutt Whitney and T. Homer Tutt's "Smarter Set" company of col- ored players is presenting at the Lafayette, 131st st and 7th avenue. For books, lyrics and score the show ranks with musical comedies on Broadway. It is billed, as a "sensational two-act musical com- edy." It Is full of comedy and Is musical. Whitney and Tutt authored the piece. Charles L. Roberts composed the score. "I Want You Back" and "Promise Me" will compare with any war ballads. "Blue Fever" is tbe best "blues" song. In comedy, love and war songs, "Ain't It Funny What Love WllS Do" and "When the Sambca and Sammies Get Through Fighting Over There" ere typical of that kind. Of the comedians, Whitney's work stands out After the first 15 minutes of his appear- ance, he bad the audience with him to the ex- tent-that bis every movement or remark was the signal for laughter. Hie partner, Tutt, is a more staid comedian. The story concerns the duplicity of Abe (Whitney) and Gabe (Tutt) Washington, who enter the Howard University under false pre- tenses. A meddling reporter mistakes the former for the new professor, expected to ar- rive at Howard, and Abe, to get a meal, passes himself aa such. The piece has as much plot as the average musical comedy—which is very little. It is the libretto and score that gives the production a high standard. Lena Handford Roberts, as a musical in- structress, was musical as far as her vocal powers were concerned. Emma Jackson also sang and spoke her lines effectively. Estelle Cash and Mattle Lewis distinguished them- selves In dancing, as did Boots Marshall and George Lynch. These latter two are evidently In the cast for tbe specialty they do In the socond scene of the first act, that of dancing porters and "baggage smashers." They were recalled four times last Tuesday evening. A mummy dance, billed as an original cre- aatlon, wherein mummies come forth from their cases In which they had been preserved and go through an Egyptian dance, was com- mendable. One of the cborus men Is an ex- pert In doing the "shlmmie," and tho audience seemed to favor It - Some credit Is also duo to the piano player and drummer the company carries. While a Broadway producer could Improve on the production, it- is In good form for the pop time booked. It could also stand a llttlo cutting. Some of the encores could be elimi- nated to obtain an earlier closing hour. "MISS" SHOW MISSES. Providence, R. I., Sept. 25. "Miss, I Don't Know," which played its first week's engagement at the Shubert Majestic here last week, left a decidedly poor impression—so poor that Lee Shubert, who came here Thursday, decided to change the name, it was announced, to "The Girl in the Canteen." "Miss I Don't Know" as a title was bad enough, but the change is worse. A canteen doesn't figure until the last act and then not much. It was said, when the company left Saturday, it would lay off a week in New York for rehearsals and changes. It suffered .many changes here during the week. Members of the company from the leading man, Ray Raymond, to the chorus, had some fault to find. It was rumored that Raymond was going to leave. The show has no action or kick un- til the end of the second act. -..SHQWSJNLOSANGELES...-.,,„ Los Angeles, Sept. 25. For the past few weeks, the thea- trical business has been particularly quiet, the picture houses getting the bulk of the business. Both the Majestic and Mason are dark. "Mary's Ankle," at Morosco, opened to good business. "BIG CHANCE" WEAK. Philadelphia, Sept. 25. If it was a lack of confidence on the part of the producers that prompted them to book "The Big Chance" for only one week at the Adelphi, the same producers are gifted with fore- sight for the new A. H. Woods play is not destined to last any longer, un- less much is accomplished in the re- making. "A Big Chance" is described by the ad-writer as "A play of the Re-birth of Human Souk." That's a badly written line to hand anything new in these troublesome times, but every- thing seems to have been a "chance" with this piece and neither the title nor the description can do it more harm than the producers who showed it in the present form. "A Big Chance" is a war play. Grant Morris and Willard Mack are an- nounced as its authors, but neither will add anything to his name as a play- wright through this poorly written piece that contains an idea that starts but .never gets anywhere. About the only thing that can be said for it is that it is different in theme, but the fact remains, it will have to be almost entirely rewritten. Its shewing here was its initial one Of importance, and it may have been the presence of several theatrical cel- ebrities that was responsible for the nervousness of the company, with the result, the performance was not a smooth one and received with indif- ference by a fairly well filled house. The company includes Clara Joel, Cyril Keithly, Harry Robert, Annie Mack Berlein, William Meehan, Kath- erine Harris Barrymore, Ramsey Wal- lace and Walter Horton. Guy Bates Post in "The Masque- rader" is underlined for Sept. 30. '} ■ •■."'■ ':.-'.".■ -..•:■ " - : v* ■ ., ■■ ■.', ■: .* ^ 1 ■M , ■:; V 4-J ...;.: •■■•' ! STOCKS OPENING. Denver, Sept. 25. Tom Wilkes, a theatrical manager of Salt Lake City, has taken over the Denham and is to operate stock there. The house was formerly held by the Orpheum Circuit. The Denham is to be in a chain of theatres playing stock in Salt Lake City, Los Angeles, Sail Francisco and Denver. «~» Portland, Ore., Sept. 25. The Alcazar, opened since Sept. 14, when the Alcazar Players produced "Johnny, Get Your Gun," has Alice Fleming leading. Edward Everett Horton is leading man. For the first time this city is sup- porting two stock companies. The Baker company is also current. There are about 50,000 men employed in the shipyards. Both houses play to capacity. KALICH PLAY A HIT. • Washington, Sept. 25. Bertha Kalich opened in "The Rid- dle Woman" at the Belasco Monday and scored a hit. The play is by Charlotte E. Wells and Dorothy Donnelly, produced by George Mooscr. The Washington Post says: "No other actress on the English-speaking stage is more admirably suited to the central role of 'The Riddle Woman' than Mme. Kalich," The show opened to $781 and played to $1,000 Tuesday night. It will be in Pittsburgh next week, and is headed for Broadway. Bernard Hiahin Has Recovered. Bernard Hishin has recovered from an attack of pneumonia and returns shortly to produce two new playg. Manager Myers Resigns. London, Sept. 25. T. Myers, manager of the Middle- sex, resigns Sept. 28.