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Mr. Collier Under Oath
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situation where the great and only Leslie, in the very flower of his glory, is confronted by the ham — now an extra man in the movie concern where Leslie’s slightest smile is worth its weight in radium. The ham’s unchanged contempt for Leslie dangerously convinces the great and only of his own utter unworth as artist or human being.
“Has there ever been in your life,” I asked Collier, “one who tore you down from high places as this ham tore down the great and only Leslie? One who could say to you, ‘You are rotten,’ with such deadly earnestness as to reduce you to a state of rottenness?”
“Who told you about my Uncle Ned and me?” cried Collier.
It was the first time that ever I had heard his chill, even voice cry anything ; the first time I had seen any but comic amazement expressed in his serene, implastic face.
“Nobody told me,” I answered truthfully. “Van’s story suggested ”
“But you’re not under oath, and I am,” he said, incredulously. “I had an uncle that measured me up just as this ham measured Leslie. I wanted to punch him every time I saw him coming. I can see him now, sitting in an aisle seat in the front row, with plenty of room for his lame leg — telling me just by his look how rotten I am.
“I’ll never forget the day my mother — God rest her soul! — said the sweetest words I’ve ever heard. ‘Your Uncle Ned is dead,’ she said. And she told me afterward that there was an expression on my face that she’d never seen there before — it was almost heavenly.
“Everything I ever did was rotten to Uncle Ned.