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The Self-Doubting Pauline Lord 273
“Did Nat Goodwin ever tell you that you ‘had it’?” “Well, one day when I was pretty much discouraged, he said: ‘Polly, if you’ll burn a little oil you’ll become an actress!’ That was enough. I stuck. I worked hard — lots of stock; I worked hard in a hard school.”
“Do you regret it? I mean, do you wish this real success had come to you earlier?”
“Do you think I’m a real success?” she asked without guile.
“Your performance in ‘Anna Christie’ is the best thing that’s happened to me in the theater this year. You see, I couldn’t quite ‘see’ you as a great actress in ‘Samson.’ ”
“I wasn’t — and I never want to play another ‘translation.’ ”
“But my canny and envied colleague, 0. L. Hall, ‘saw’ you in that translation.”
“He gave me wonderful encouragement. And in ‘Anna Christie’ Eugene O’Neill has given me a wonderful part. An actress would have to be pretty bad to fail in this part. Mr. O’Neill has genius. He has a genius for modesty, too.”
“You’ve got a little of that.”
“I’ve got a lot of self-doubt, that’s all.”
“You ought to be a very happy girl.”
“Instead of which, I keep asking myself, Am I happy ?”
“Didn’t you get a great awakening thrill on the New York first night of this play?”
“It was dramatic. They cheered. I saw hats thrown up and caught and thrown again. I can look back and see that opening night. But what I most clearly see is Mr. O’Neill, hiding back stage behind a