Movie Makers (Jan-May 1928)

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FILM -FLAM Mammy!! WE see by the papers that eighty-five-year old Mrs. Wilhemine Alff, mother of twelve, of Cherokee, Iowa, has seen a movie every night for the past eight years, which means that she has survived 2,920 feature films. Our suggestion to Will Hays is that he get her to sign a testimonial to the effect that her long life has been due to avoiding tobacco and alcohol and seeing a movie every night. The old lady further adds that she has seen a "moral" in every picture, which shows that her eye-sight is now well-nigh superhuman. A New Angle WE'RE thinking of writing a scenario with a novel twist. A war story. The hero goes to France and his regiment stops at a farmhouse. The farmer has no daughter. This makes the hero so mad he goes out and wins the war. — Judge. Big Game Hunt ACCORDING to the "Film Mercury," a Hollywood weekly, old American films are now much in demand in India, Thibet and West Africa, particularly the old serials we used to see years ago, such as, "The Perils of Pauline," — which the natimes devour whole, all ten or twelve episodes in one showing. Lloyd, Chaplin and Jackie Coogan are also popular. In our opinion the perfect ending for one of those African jungle hunt pictures would be a scene in which the intrepid explorers, stealthily sneaking through the lion-ridden jungle, suddenly come upon a native village which is watching Harold Lloyd in "Safety Last." The bloodthirsty savages are so excited that they entirely fail to see the big game hunters until they accidentally come between the projector and the screen, causing Ninety-jour Edited by Creighton Peet them to yell in chorus, "Down in front!" upon which the intrepid explorers scuttle into the underbrush 'and cable back to New York that they have been attacked by a tribe of head-hunters and are taking the next boat home. Copyright Life Publishing Co. Movie Director: WHAT DOES THIS HERE WORD "SUBTLE" MEAN? Assistant Moron: OH, THAT'S AN ABBREVIATION FOR SUBTITLE. Ride 'Em, Cowboy! ' I 'WO items this month are con■* cerned with attempts to make Texas movies sweet and clean. In Houston the censors so mutilated that excellent but earthy soldier film, "What Price Glory," in the process of making it reeefined, that it was almost unrecognizable. And then there was B. B. Crimm, an evangelist who went about thundering, "I'd rather see a saloon on each street corner than a picture show." Which seems a bit intemperate. Why not compromise and have two of each? All God's Chillin A CALIFORNIA movie theatre **• has illuminated its usherettes' costumes with radium paint — thereby increasing its celestial appearance by several thousand per cent. A few sets of white plush angel's wings and the place would no doubt be practically indistinguishable from Heaven. Sympathy BUT all this is trivial. What our movie houses really need are squads of Soothers, who will go up and down the aisles every few minutes with dry handkerchiefs for the girls who are enjoying themselves "seeing Dolores Costello suffer," and Maxim Silencers for those inclined to gurgle about "how ivonderful John Gilbert is." Heh, Heh, Heh! A HIGHLY localized earthquake swallowed up the Gahdahful Features Studios, leaving nothing save a gaping cleft in the ground. "One of the wisest cracks I've ever made," declared Beelzebub to inquiring reporters. — Life. Critique I N order to know exactly how the public will react to a film before it is released generally, D. W. Griffith follows up reviews, (usually single showings in small California towns) with a staff of doorto-door canvassers, who go about the next morning to gossip with the townspeople and listen to their impromptu comments on the picture. This is one detail of production which never troubles the amateur. He never has to wait for or ask for an opinion on his cinematic masterpiece. It comes to him immediately and spontaneously — like a clap of Courtesy of Judge. "IT'S ALL RIGHT, MISTER: WE'RE MAKING AMATEUR MOVIES." (Continued on page 127)