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see it! When we were walking behind her to church Sunday did you hear what young Beachman said? No, I wouldn't even repeat it — but I can tell you I stared at him until he got so confused he backed into the public gasoline tank. By the way, I wish your husband would take some interest in civic affairs and get that thing away from this neighborhood."
"But it's convenient, and hasn't any odor now. It's non-inflammable, too."
"I know all that, but it's so near the house, and there's such congestion around it. I don't think the taxpayers should stand any such calls on them. And the public airplanes! Ten cents from Fordham to the Battery! My New York Interurban Airplane stock hasn't paid a cent of dividend for . . . Oh, everything's all wrong. I'm afraid to go up in our plane for even a short trip. Now in my day, when everyone used an automobile there was no congestion at all — no accidents — the drivers obeyed traffic rules implicitly. Why, there wasn't a single person run over by an automobile in the whole year of 1927 in New York City!"
"Mother, please don't think I want to change the subject, but I have a lovely surprise for you. When Dick had to go through Father's . . ."
"That's another thing, Susan ! Why your father should have deliberately made your husband executor while I was alive and available . . ."
"NOW FOR THE FILM, FOLKS."
"GRANDMA, WHAT IS THE MATTER?"
"Please, Mother, let's not go into that again — I just want you to know something because it will make you so happy. You'll be able to let us see at last how lovely you were in 1927."
"What!"
"Yes, dear. Father left a film marked — oh, never mind about that."
"How was it marked, Susan?"
"Why — er — Well, you know what a sense of humor Father had."
"Don't remind me, Susan! He told me once a sense of humor was the constitution of the state of matrimony. When I think of certain things, it's all I can do . . . But he's beyond the pearly gates now and I must be forgiving. My only hope is that he won't have gotten in with any more disreputable company until I get . . ."
"Mother!"
"Don't MOTHER me! How was that film marked, Susan? Don't keep me on tenterhooks. I never did trust a sense of humor anyway. It's . . . it's a most unsafe possession. How was it Marked? Did anyone run it off? Tell me at Once!"
"Why, Mother! And I thought you'd be so pleased!"
"I Am pleased. Of course I am, Susan— but HOW WAS IT MARKED? And Where IS It?"
"Well, Dick says it has a label 'YEAR 1927. Snapped Sarah and escaped with the spoil. Some footwork!'"
"I Knew It!"
"What's the matter, Mother?"
"Nothing, Susan. Yes — I don't feel well. Not at all well. It's the heat. I'm going to lie down. Oh, Susan, I want them to be sure to bring the film to me and let me project it first. You know there's something so touching about these old things."
(Continued on page 131)
Ninety -seven