Angles: Women Working in Film and Video (2003)

never autobiographical. I can’t imagine anything more boring than talking about myself. But it comes from me. In a way they are very personal films. I remember a phrase from [Robert] Bresson. He said, “Tell a story only you can tell,” a personalized outlook of something. If it’s to say something many other people can say just as beautifully or better, then I’m not very interested. What I like is to change the angle of the camera, have my own personal outlook which is not the mainstream. How did you start making films? In the first place, I like to believe I’m a good example for older people to realize it’s never too late to begin something. I began when I was 58. But I think I was always a filmmaker since childhood. I wrote stories, which were illustrated with little close-ups and words underneath dialogues. They were my first storyboards. I used to improvise with puppets. I used to direct my sister and cousins in plays. But I think like many women of my generation, I didn’t take myself seriously. I never thought or imagined that what a woman might have to say would be important. When I decided to make movies, without having a clue whether I could make them or not, I knew I was going to displease many people around me. I knew I was risking breaking my neck, and off I went. Was there any one thing that helped you make that leap? To change your life? There were many things. One was the reading of Simone de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex. She expressed beautifully what I felt but didn’t know how to analyze. Another book that opened a lot of doors in me was Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique. That and a thought of [Andre] Malraux, which says one has to live out one’s ideas. So I said, “I’m not living out my ideas. I’m just bitching and boring everyone. Do something about it.” So I wrote a short play I felt could make a good movie. I wrote the script and participated in the shooting of the film. It was autobiographical, Chronicles of a Lady/Cronica de una Senora, for director Raul de la Torre. When I got to the cinema set I was riveted. I felt this is what I like, this is where I belong. I was caught from then on. As a scriptwriter, I realized it’s absolutely impossible for any man to understand the new awareness of women even if they want to be understanding. It’s never the same. Then I decided if I really want films to express what I’m writing, I will just have to go behind the camera. I began for ideological reasons, political reasons. I was sick of seeing the derogatory images of women on the screen, mostly made by men—not all of them, of course. There are marvelous exceptions. But generally women are pretty boring. They always have the second role, the gags. My idea was to have leading women characters. They would be assertive. They would be strong. They would be transgressors. They would be free. I got more loosened up doing these images until I finished my last film—J, the Worst of All, about this fabulous Mexican poet and nun. I can’t think of a better role model for women. I wanted to find a true, personal voice. 22 @ ANGLES You've said that if women make movies the way men do, they might as well stay home. Could you elaborate on that? Of course, I think it’s desirable that if women make movies they try and help bring changes so necessary to end the patriarchal society and to have an egalitarian society in which men and women come to terms with each other, where men would not be abusing women and exploiting them, and women would not be exploiting men and trying to get money out of them. It would be something a bit more decent and respectful of each other. Do you consider yourself a feminist? By all means. I think any woman who says she’s not a feminist is either a coward or a fool. I wouldn’t be giving you this interview if we hadn’t had these consciousness-raising groups in which we all helped each other to grow. We all shared the same kind of problems. That insecurity was the dragon we had to kill within ourselves, if we wanted to be ourselves. It’s just the beginning. It’s just a drop into the sea. You can’t change millions of years in 20 years. But I don’t militate any longer. The best way for me to be a good feminist is to make good movies. What are the most important issues for you now? My most important issue is to make another movie, then another one. I have a couple of ideas. My life is very quiet now. I’m conscious of my priorities. I’m not a young woman anymore and I'm very cautious with the energy I spend. I know the price of being free is to be solitary. Now my top priority, apart from my family, is to tell stories. At this time in my life, I’m no longer interested in seducing people. I want to convince them. Interview by Elfrieda Abbe, first appeared in Angles, Volume 2, Number 3, 1994. ©1994 Elfrieda Abbe Filmography Moments/Momentos (1981), about a woman's adulterous affair. Camila (1984), Maria Luisa Bemberg’s most commercially successful film in the United States and Argentina, is based on a true story of a young woman from an upper class family who elopes with a priest. Miss Mary (1986), with Julie Christie, reflects Bemberg’s upbringing in an upper-class family. The tableaux of life among the wealthy in the 1930s comments on a stagnant patriarchal society and the arrogance that led to Perénist politics. I, the Worst of All/Yo la mas pobre de todas (1989), tells the story of the 17th century Mexican nun and poet Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz.