Boy's Cinema (1930-31)

16 tliuckloJ. "Unless you wanta go all (he way baclt again. What's up? Your gal giving yer the chuck?" "I have no girl," haughtily retorted Arthur, and stalked forth, realising that he had gone four streets too far. He was too dignified to return in the same 'bus, and so had to wait. Still, there were plenty of trains. Another 'bus at last, and it would bo crowded. Somehow, he wedged his way inside and started trouble by treading on a fat lady's corns. "Look where you're going!" com- plained the lady shrilly. "Ain't yer got ey<'S in yer head?" "Yes, mum." "Then why not use 'em." This caused a general laugh, and the fat lady shook all her four chins. In that crowd it was impossible to do nmt.h dreaming, but one could walk on people's feet and nudge neighbours in the ribs, especially as the driver was a run-and-brake merchant. In other words, the driver tore along whenever ho saw a clear space, and directly a block appeared on went all the brakes. Those standing swayed backwards and forwards like a storm at sea. Arthur butted the man next him so violently that the latter's straw hat fell on the floor. "So sorry!" murmured Arthur, and 111 stooping to pick it up off came liis own. The hats were restored at last, but the man who had been hutted had evidently had a row with his wife or got out of the wrong side of bed that morning, because he kcjit on glaring at poor Arthur. Then Arthur got a seat at last, and looked out carefully for the depot. At last the depot and Arthur struggled to his feet. "No, you must not give up your seat. I insist," a pretty girl said severely to him. "But I -" began Ardiur, when the bus jerked forward and he sat down heavily again. Arthur made another attempt to eet uji at the next stop. "I am quite capable of standing!" The girl was angry. "A girl is the equal of a man any day, and what a man can do wo can do! Please keep your seat—I insist!'' " You can insist as much as you like " —Arthur was really angry—"but I'm getting out hero." And the girl gave him a look that would have frozen the North Polo as hard as granite. Arthur felt better after that—ho liad scored (hat time. He marched off to tlio depot, and, of course, there \vas a queue waiting for their tickets. Tho youngster went into another trsnee as ho slowly filed forward. Ho reached the sill, still in a dream. What was all that Ranging about? Ho looked vaguely around to see a sea of angry faces. "Brought yer camp stool with yer?" snarled a labourer. " Y'ou kids ouglita go to bed earlier!" said another. "Where's his nurse?" was the worst cut of all. Feverishly .\rthur bought a ticket, rammed it into tho band of his straw hat, and was so anxious to get away that he ran right into a man—he of the other straw hat. "Ugh!" grunted the little man, and staggered back. Both straw hats went flying. "Sorry! Sorry!" ■'You confounded young chump!" February 15tli, 1030. BOY'S CINEMA shouted tl;e ottier excitedly. "Why don't you have your eyes tested?" Artliur was so confused that he didn't realise he had picked up the wrong hat. whilst the little man was so annoyed that ho didn't realise Arthur's hat was nearly over his ej'os. Hence a gust of wind played a fine old game. The hat on Arthur's head was like a piinple and easily whisked off, whilst the wind got under the larger hat and lifted it off the small dome like a now form of kite. Worse was to follow, because when Arthur chased after hi? hat that seemed bewitched it did not stop till it came to rest under the front legs of a respectable cart-horse, who was feeling in a hungry mood that day. To tlie boy's horror, the big teeth closed on the brim and proceeded to get busy on the straw. No sign of the man in' charge, and every time Arthur held out an uncertain hand the horse showed its teeth. " Here—hi—steady !" cried the lad. "Chuck it, old chap!" But the horse calmly went on munch- ing till all one side was gone. "Hallo, son. what's tho trouble?" growled a voice, and the carter ap- peared. "Oh, ho, so old Ned's having a meal!" The horse gave up tijc hat quite meekly. "He's eaten my ticket!" shouted Arthur. "And I don't believe there's another train for an hour." He was feeling feveri.shly in his pockets to see how much money he possessed when another person arrived on the scene. "Gimme my hat!" was the infuriated cry. "Y'ou knock off my hat and then have the impertinence to take the wrong one!" He grabbed the offending headgear and shoved it on his head without noticing the damage. His anger was so great that probably ho was blinded. " I'ool! Dolt! Idiot 1" he screeched, and flung Arthur's hat on the ground. " I've a good mind to stamj) on it !" "Here, you be off!" growled the carter, and the man departed muttering dire threats. With a glad cry Arthur pounced on his hat, and there in the ribbon was the ticket. "Th.anks. old sport!" he cried. "Y'ou'vc saved my life. Can't stop to inquire after tho wife and kids, 'cos I gotta catch that train. Cheerio! Drop me a postcard any day.". "Loco!" muttered the carter. pu>liing his greasy cap on one side and scratching his thick hair, whilst he ftared after the running Arthur. "I wouldn't wonder what them two ain't escaped from somewhere. Corks, he'll break his blinking neck !'' The train was on the move and was gathering speed. A guaril and about four porters yelled "Stand away!" but Arthur charged after the last car. A final spurt and his outflung hand gripped tho rail, and with a mighty lieave he dragged himself on to the step. He nearly fell off when his hat tried to do a disappearing act. The carter's heart went to liis mouth as Arthur released his hands to jam on his plraw hat, before desperately clinging again to the rail. Then the boy ran up tho steps and gaily waved. "Clean off his onion." muttered the carter, then looked all round. "Perhaps he was a film star—don't see no camera. So, he must bo loco, as I thought first." Trouble in a Train. HAVING caught the train by the skin of his teeth. Arthur sought a seat, but found that the coacncs were all very full. Tho carriage was a saloon with double seats and a gangway Every Tuesday between. A fat lady had a seat to her- self, but she was so monstrous that after vainly endeavouring to place some por- tion of his anatomy upon the cushion he gave it up and went elsewhere. In the very end coach Artliur saw two spare seats—on opposite sides of the corridor, but level. On one of the double seats sat a man, and on the other a girl. Being of a nervous disposiiicu, Arthur chose to sit next to the man. Arthur settled himself down, but dreams were not possible. How tan a chap dream when there is a peculiar odour in the air? He glanced at his companion, then became aware that the girl had a handkerchief to her nose. Another look at his companion noticed a movement of the jaws. The latter becoming aware of Artluu-'s gaze turned his head, and tho boy nearly swooned. " Ze garlic spearmint—verra good." said the Italian, with a broad smile. "I iiiventa cet myself—you takka zee piece." "No, thanks. I don't," gasped Arthur. "Phew, gimme air!" Whereupon Artliur leaned forward and pressed a knob which was supposed to open the window about two inches. Unfortunately he pressed the bottom knob instead of the top, and the window opened quite a foot. A torrent of air swept into the car. Can you imagine a liner with a gaping hole in her side and the seas sweeping in? Well, that was very like what hap- pened when Arthur opened that window. People reading newspapers either had them snatched out of their hands or else were buried in their folds.' Papers, handbags, hats, and other debris reposing on the tables were whisked off like straw-. Glasses and cups were spilled, and among the slirieks and screams of the women could bo heard a few comments by the males. "Shut that blankety, blank window!" "Chuck him out of the car!'' "My hat's ruined !" " Where's my icecream cornet?"—this last raised the passengers to boiling pitch. They stood up as best thev could and all shouted and hooted and screamed at Arthur, who got thoroughly panicky and pressed another button, whereupon by some freak the window opened a further foot. "Cur,=a de vind !" shouted the Itah'an. "You bigga de fool!"' He managed to find the right knob, and the window shut with a clang. Arthur sank limply in his seat and tried to imagine that all the rude things that were being said were not about him at all. Ho tried to dream again, and became aware that there was some- thing in his eye—grit that must have got in when the window was open. He became aware that the person on the seat next to him was eyeing him with amusement. What a surprise Arthur got when he found she was the girl of his dreams—and he could have sat next to her! Instead of which ho was next to an evil-smelling Italian. A? Arthur stared at her. hardly crediting his senses, tho grain of dust got busy on tlic nerve cells and his loft eyelid flickered once, and as the girl's own eyes opened wide with indignation, so did Arthur wink again and again. He know he was winking and couldn't stop it. Marian Day gave him a look th.it would have killed, and busied herself with a book, but it was not so easy to read. Her curiosity was arou.sed, and he was such a nice-looking lad; she ventured a quick peep. Arthur, the pic- ture of misery, was dabbing at liis left eye. He removed the handkerchief, and noticing that peep decided upon a . bold move.