Boy's Cinema (1930-31)

6 onlinaiy peison might have donned his Ijowlcr Jiat, and beamed at the man lie had defeated. "Hail the king! Hail the king I" fiied the crowd of elegant men and yvonion; and the golden-haired beauty in the goigcoiis evening-frock looked .sniilingly up at Zup. "Oscar," said that young snan, "take a bow." "Ah, but they mean you!" was the amazing reply. "Me?" scoffed Zup. "Nix, Oscar! You wouldn't give a pal the run- around, would you?" "It is the custom in El Dorania," replied the king calmly, "that whoso- L'vcr wins the crown by fair means shall automatically become king." Zup's eyebrows went up and his eyes ripened widely, but it seemed evident I hat Oscar was in earnest—and Zu|) had heard things about this quaint little kingdom. "In that case," he decided, "I shall (lutomatically take a bow." And he lowed in all directions. "Hail the king! Hail the king!" (horused the crowd, but it occurred to Zup that the hailing was a trifle luke- warm. "Aw, come, come, come, boys!" he r-ried. "You're not hailing—you're just drizzling ! Come on now—let's have some real hail ! Shoot !'" He waved his arms as though con- ducting them and sot the pace. "Hail the king! Hail the king! King ! King ! ! King ! ! !" They shouted with gusto, and, having KliGuted, applauded their own efforts. "That's better—that's better!" ap- l>roved Zup, shaking hands with those nearest to him. "Zander is my naine— I'm to be your new king. Come around lo the palace any old night and see mo, will you, boys? How d'you do?" "Congratulations!" cried a voice. And Zup, grinning broadly, moved about amongst his new subjects, shaking hands with them till his own hand uched. Something Like a King! OS('.'\R, leading aside the golden- Iwured girl, said to her in a low voice : , "He thinks he's bealcn me with my *:Own loaded dice—but 'tis I who have won, by relinquishing 1 he crown and {'escaping assassination, Carlotta." "Oscar," replied Carlotta, "you're iiiuch too smart to be a king !" r_ Oscar nodded, and was making for a x'doorway when a shabbily dressed and wild-eyed man came running at him -fioni the direction of the grand stair- •'^ease, a revolver in hand. The fellow Tired, and an ('lectric fitting against one *of (he walls fell to the floor in frag- '■■ inenfs.' Oscar staggered, clapped a h.ind to liis - side and collapsed. Confusion reigned. The woidd-be assassin was .seized; a stfetcher was brought, and Oscar was borne away upon it. Zup. deserted by his new subjects, ])uffod though! fully at ■ his cigar. Evidently it was liot all joy lo be King of El Dorania ! .'- But Oscar, even as Carlotta had said, - was much too smart to be a king. The ■ would-be assassin was in his pay, the inon who carried the stretcher wore his :; friends. In an ante-room the stretcher was lowered and Oscar bounded up from it, consulting the watch which Zup had .despised. " I've got just twenty minutes to fatch tlie boat for Vera Cruz," he said. "Where ai^c the tickets?" "Here I hey are, you lucky Majesty," laughed one of the strctohnr-hnarers, 8«j)tcml)>'r 121 h, ]0.31. BOY'S CINEMA and handed him a strip of tickets, while another produced a cloak. "The lug- gage is already on board." "Thanks," said Oscar cheerfully. "Good-bye, boys—don't miss the assas- sination of the new king !" He scurried out from the palace, and the golden-haired Carlotta, having watched him go, returned to the room in which Zup vvas now mounted on a chair in response to a general dci.-jand for a .speech. Oscar's .supposed demise troubled nobody. "This is," began Zup, "this is—or— Zander Ulysses Parkhurst speaking. The initials are Z-U-P, so just call me Zup, folks. Z-U-P—Zup !" He waved his cigar in the air and looked down with a smile at Carlotta, who had reached his side and was look- ing archly up at him. "My thoughts," he went on, "go back to a little farmhouse in America—and while my thoughts are away I would like to make a few remarks. Fellow subjects, you now stand on the threshold of prosperity." He stepped from the chair on to the table at which ho had diced so success- fully. "Gather in a little closer, friends," he urged. "Get on the threshold. That's fine ! As King of El Dorania I shall stand behind every home, inside every bank. Wo %yill en- deavour to make this a land of milk and honey." He leant down to Carlotta's left ear and repeated, "Honey!" then con- tinued : "My dear friends, what more can I say? I want you to know that we are all for one, and I'm for all, and you for me, and me for you, and two for toa and tea for two, and—and " Ho foiuid that he was holding one of Carlotta's hands without quite knowing how it had happened. "Thank you, folks, thank you!" he said, and jumped down from tlie table. The crowd, thus dismissed, streamed towards the doors, but Cailotta lingered. " "Your Royal Highness is cute," she told him roguishly. "Yeah!" drawled Zup. " Well,' you're not so bad, either." And he slipped his arm through hers and was led away by her out of the overheated room on to a noble terrace overlooking the harbour and the sea. "Well," she said softly, as they stood beside the pillared parapet, "I hope your Majesty will have a long reign." "Don't worry, honey," returned Zup brightly, "this isn't going to be a reign —it's going to be a cloudburst!" King Zup slept that night in (he royal bed in the royal bedchamber with a couple of armed guards outside the two doo)S, and by the time he went to bed he had consumed so much champagne that lie was unpleasantly reminded of the proverb "uneasy lies a head that wears a crown," for he had neglected to remove that structure of gold and precious stones! Next morning, after dealing with sundry affairs of state which struck him as being of singular unimportance, he arrayed him.self in a stylish tmiform as commander-in-chief of the El Doranian army, and went for a stroll in the palace grounds, followed by n bodyguard of four soldiers with fixed bayonets. . . By seeming accident he encountered Carlotta, dressed in black velvet, wear- ing widow's weeds. The bodyguard vvas dismissed and the two walked and talked. "Your Majesty," said Carlotta. after a while, "will, of course, take linto himself a queen?'.' Every Tuesday "Well," said Zup cheerfully, "my Majesty hasn't thought much about that. I notice, however, that you have annexed yourself to the royal right arm." "It's an old El Doranian oustoni," she told him demurely. They sat together on a marble bench. "Tell me all about yourself, honey, tell me all about yourself," said Zup encouragingly. "Well," said Carlotta, nestling closer, "I have been the bride of every king this country has had in the past year— all twelve of them!" " All twelve of them ?" echoed Zup. "You're not a wife—you're a calendar." She laughed at that and held up her left hand, from which she had removed a glove. Her fingers were loaded with wedding-rings. "You see these?" she said. "These are the wedding-rings of my late royal luisbands." "Your late royal husbands, eh? What a great time you must have had shop- ping for widow's weeds." "I get So tired of the funerals; they're very dull." "Yes," he nodded, "and from now on we ought to cut 'em out, honey— we ought to cut 'em out." She projected her thumb in his direc- tion. "This space," she said, "is for you." "Me? Thirteenth? I should say not. I don't want to break your luck." "Oh, but have you never thought seriously of marriage?" "Certainly. That's why I'm single." "Haven't you ever been in love?" "Twice; but I'm all right now." And lie nudged her playfully. The Lord Chamberlain had approached unnoticed. He addressed Zup in El Doranian, which was Greek to that American. "He's full of atmospherics," com- plained Zup. "What he says, your Majesty," ex- plained Carlotta, "is tliat next week you will get your face on all the coins of the realm." » "Never mind about getting my face on 'em," said Zup. "What I want is to get my hands on 'em!" Carlotta laughed heartily. This King was certainly different in every way from his predecessors! A Shock for Aunt Minnie. THAT day Aunt Minnie and Betty set out from New York harbour in a liner bound for various South American ports including that of Caldera, capital of El Dorania. Ths Atlantic was comparatively calm, the weather was excellent, but Aunt Minnie did not emerge from her state-room. She was seasick. She continued to feel ill throughout the voyage, and south of Florida the heat added to )ier troubles. It seemed to Betty that she was always groaning —and nearly ajways sniffing at a bottle of smelling-salts. On the morning of the sixth day she was huddled in a chair with a towel soaked in ice-water round her fore- head and the inevitable bottle of sniel)- ing-saKs in her hand. Beside her was a little table loaded with all manner of supposed cures for sea-sickness. "Auntie," cried Betty, "you really must pull yourself together. W'e shall be landing soon." "Why pull myself together?" de- manded Aunt Alinnio with a loud groan. "I'll only fall apart again, tlot any more aspirin?" "The whole six boxes are empty." "Well, give me the boxes. Do some-