Boy's Cinema (1930-31)

" Well, the worst flicy can do is to put us off," retorted liis incorrigible partner. " Come on—I'll handle the situation in my usual ,masterly manner. Come on !" "All right," said Tommy; for whore Kgbert led ho invariably followed. They stoppo<l out from the alleyway and strolled along tlio street to a car- stop. An electiic tramcar was standing there and passengers were streaming olf it, while a little group of people were waiting to invade it. Egbert and Tonimj', vvaiting their opportunity, jumped on to the roar platform just as the vehicle was re-starting. "This car goes to Glen Park, Allison Avenue, and points east," sang out the conductor, a tliick-.set man with a pimple on his nose. "We don't care which way it points," Egbert informed him, flicking ash from his cigar. " We're going to the end of the line." Opportunity in a Tramcap. FOR a while the two remained on the platform while the conductor went inside o collect fares. But b.'fore the car had reached the end of the busy street the conductor came back to them and held out his hand. " Fares, please!" " Hci e you arc, conductor," said Egbert, handing over the out-of-date transfer ticket. "Nice weather we're having. And, by the way, it certainly looks as though the old League of Nations is going to get tho Major League after all—and then again, there's the Liekersham Report." Tommy, responding to a nudge in the libs, began to pass inside the car, and Egbert would have followed, but the ccnductor stopped him. •'Just a minute! Just a minute!" he said truculently. "This transfers two davs old!" "Really?" said Egbert, with a pleasant smile. "It just goes to show how long we've been waiting for this ear ! Thomas, one moment; you must hear this!" Tommy turned about, wondering what would happen next. "Conductor," boomed Egbert, "I want to shake your hand. Your hand ! You know, there isn't one man in fifty would have noticed that that transfer was two days old. You're a very remarkable employee. Just make a note of that to the company, will you, Carlyle?" Tommy fished out a little notebook and pencil, and tho conductor stared in bewilderment, as well he might. " Yes, sir," said Tommy. " M-might I—might I ask who you are 1" sta.nmerod the conductor, gazing blankly at Egbert. " Why, certainly," replied that re- sourceful young man loftily, and he opened his coat to display the inspector's badge upon his vaisteoat. ■■ I—I hope, you'll find everything all right, sir," mumbled the conductor, completely aba.shed. "I'm sure we shall," responded Egbert. "Now, my good man, what's jour name?" "Sylvester Adolphus Bairnsfender, sir." Tommy jotted down the name. "Just take h.is number, Carlyle," directed Egbert. Toinniy liandled the dangling disc on which the conductor's number was re- corded, and let it fall back against the tunic to which it «as .ittached. He then wrote down the figures, 5063. "Now then, Sylvester," said Egbert, in quite a friendly way, "what .schedule iloes this car run on?" 'A quarter past—half-past—quarter December I'Jtli, 1031. BOY'S CINEMA of—and at," was the immediate response. "Goodl" approved Egbert. "Come, Carlyle, we will now inspect the inside." The conductor took off his peaked cap and brushed back his hair, relieved that the ordeal was over, and Egbert and Tommy stepped into the car's interior, passing up tho aisle between tho seats of the swaying vehicle from strap to straj). " 'You certainly did get by that con- ductor slick," whispered Tommy admir- ingly- "You leave everything to your Uncle Egbert," chuckled the wily one, and reached a vacant seat. "Where are wo going from here?" inquired Tommy anxiously. " I don't know. When we go out like this something always happens, doesn't it?" "Yes," growled Tommy, "and mostly to me !" The car swung round out of Main Street into a less congested thorough- fare. The rows of shops on either sid; became interspersed with houses. A sound of sobbing suddenly assailed the partners' ears, and they became aware of a little grey-haired woman in a shabby bladk coat and faded black straw hat in one of the opposite scats who was crying into her handkerchief. " Look 1" whispered Tommy. " The I Ulitl) HII Good I I UlisDes for iCbristmas . I -From YOUR EDITOR, i old lady's crying ! I wonder what's the trouble?" "Maybe she has to ride this car every day," suggested Egbert. The sobbing continued, and so did the progress of the car. Vacant plots occurred between the houses and the shops; at intervals the car came to a rest and passengers departed and others eiitered. But the little old lady remained crouched in her seat, and once, when she took the handkerchief from her face, Tommy caught a glimpse of a wrinkled but very sweet face, and thought of his dead mother. "Egbert," he said uneasily, "let's find out what the trouble is. Maybe we can help her." "Riglit you arc," nodded Egbert, quite readily. "You know our motto— one good deed every day." They crossed and seated themselves on either side of tho drooping figure, and tender-hearted Tommy spoke to her. "I beg your pardon, ma'am," he said awkwardly, " but c-can we do anything to help you ?" The old lady wiped her eyes and looiked gratefully up at him, but shook her head. "Why—why, no, thank you," she whimpered. "I'm afraid not." "But you've been crying," protested Tommy. "Ah-ah, and don't deny it," said Egbert, with comical solemnity. "You know it doesn't do any good to pull a Niagara." Every Tuesday "A Niagara?" she echoed • wonder- ingly. "He means tears," explained Tommy gently. "\ou know, Niagara Falls— tears fall. We just thought that—er— maybe ws coul 1—er—er " "Do something for you," put in Egbert. Tho little old lady wiped her eyes again and tried to srnile. " It's very nice of you gentlemen to ^ake such an interest in me," she said gratefully. "Yours are the f-first kind words I've heard in " She broke off to sob again, and Tommy patted her arm. "Oh, but you mustn't do that!" he protested. "Why, we've had more tough luck than you, I Iknow." " Sure I" nodded Egbert emphatically. "Why, you'd think we were both born under a ladder, and broke a mirror every morning ! Come on, now, mother, give us an earful of the bad news." The old lady, thus adjured, looked up at them in turn. "Well," she whimpered, "they're taking my drug-store away from me." The conductor's head w^as thrust into the ear. He had just collected fares and retrea,ted, but it was an astonishing thing to him to see two supposed officials of the company talking to an insignifi- cant old lady. Ho began to wonder how it would be to suggest to them that his pay was inadequate to his needs. " Why are they taking your drug- store away from you?" asked Tommy gently. "Debt," was the frank reply. "You see, since my husband died I—I did the best I could, but oh, if I'd only had someone who understood about drug- stores !" Egbert glanced meaningly at Tommy, and said briskly : "Now isn't that a coincidence? Mother, this is certainly your lucky day I I suppose it's just a trick of fate, us being on this car." "It's simply amazing, Egbert—amaz- ing !" declared Tommy. The little old lady screwed her hand- kerchief into a ball, studying their faces with hope writ large in her faded grey eyes. " Oh, do you understand the drug business?" she exclaimed. " Oho 1" chuckled the shameless Egbert. "She asks us if we under- stand the drug business ! Why, mother, we understand the drug business all tho way from Apollo to ApoUonaris ! Who was it conducted the biggest kiddie-cry- ing contest the Castoria people ever held?" " I don't know," confessed the little old lady. "Us!" declared Egbert proudly. "Who was it estimated that if all the compound pills in the country were piled into one heap in tho Grand Canyon it would be—or—a good idea ? Us I Who was it discovered that quinine and whisky was not good for a cold unless somebody else took the quinine?" "Me!" proclaimed Tommy trium- phantly. "Us!" corrected Egbert. "Us, son— us ! Now, mother, you just continue to sit here, but disccntinue to_ weep, and give us the details of this thing." "Well," began the little old lady obediently, " three years ago my hus- band was taken ill. He was a qualified chemist—I don't know anything about drugs myself." "Go on !" said Egbert. The little old lady went on, pouring her pitiful tale into the eager ears of the two adventurers, and tho story was not really cojnplete when the tramoar