Boy's Cinema (1935-39)

13 Stan removed himself and slowly and painfully Ollie drew himself upward. Stan 1 cached out and was nearly dragged off the ledge, hut at last two exhausted men lay pulling and blowing on that narrow road. Some time later they staggered back to the Alpen Hotel to report the loss of the piano. Victor Albert almost tore out his hair. The Alpenfest HAVING captured the affections of Stan and Ollie, the beautiful Anna was out to get some more scalps. She'd show "her husband that could play the part of a Tyrolean maid and vamp the whole hotel if she wanted to. She had done some smiling at the chef. " Do you like me ?" "Like you? I love you." The chef clapped his hands to his heart. " Ever since 1 see you in this hotel my heart goes bumpety-bump." "Oh, you're so sweet!" coyly cried Anna, and long eyelashes concealed the mischief in her eyes. Meanwhile Victor was pacing up and down his room, and giving Edward a poor time. "You're the biggest idiot in creation. Now that you're arranged everything in your usual fine fashion and the piano is ruined, what am I going to do?" "I have everything under control, sir. as usual," smoothly replied Edward. '"There will be another piano in here in a week." "A week?" screamed Victor. "In the meantime, sir, why not use the organ in the lobby?" Now Stan and Ollie were working in the lobby. The plate-breaking business was more than Luigi could stand. They couldn't break the organ. No, but they did their best to put it out of action. Stan was working at scrubbing some stairs that went up to the floor above, and the pipes of the organ were against tliese stairs. Ollie had a bucketful of soap and water, and this bucket was a queer affair because it had a cork stopper in the side, and Stan dipped his brush so vigorously into the bucket that he knocked out the bung. Out poured the soapy water, and it went down one of the pipes. Anna appeared, and that stopped them working. " I've never thanked you boys properly for helping me get into this hotel." "Well, it was a mere nothing com- bined with a terrific pleasure!'" cried the love-lorn Oliver. "Will you tell me something?" "Certainly." Ollie wiped his hands and hid the mop behind him. "If you really didn't know me would you think I wis really a peasant girl ?" "I'll say I would!" cried Ollie. "The prettiest peasant girl I've ever seen." "Oh, you sweet thing!" Anna cried, and ran off laughing. Oliver sat down on the floor and looked about him in a dumb, confused sort of way. "What's the matter?" Stun asked anxiously. " I don't know." "I know," Stan nodded his head. "You're in love." "How can you tell?" "It's easy. Look at the silly, sloppy look on your face. Do \ou mind if I tell you something?" Oliver was in such a state thai he did not mind anything. "She's in love with you, too." " How do you know ?" I can tell that. If you play your cards right you've got her in the hollow of your hand." September 24th, 1938. BOY'S CINEMA " Tell me some more, Stanley." " There's nothing to tell!" cried the wise man. "All you've got to do is to go and let her know. Why don't you do it like the gay Caviars in the olden days?" "The Caviars? What did they do?" "Well, when they were in love they used to go by the light of the moon and serenade their lady fair." "But suppose she's in love with some- one else?" argued Oliver. "Faint heart never won fair lady." They had. no chance to discuss the matter further as Victor Albert came striding into the lobby, and seated him- self before the organ. Beautiful music came from the organ, and the two adventurers listened until a strange gurgling intervened. Large bubbles came out of the organ stops and floated round the room. Victor did not see them, but he was annoyed with the organ and worked savagely with his feet. A whole lot more bubbles and then music again. The two watchers imagined they must have been dreaming, until the organ again gave forth awful grunts and gurgles and bubbles poured out of the pipes. A bubble floated towards Oliver, and Stan poked at it with his finger, broke the bubble and poked Oliver in the nose. Victor went on playing, and after a while got used to the bubbles which floated all round the lobby. One seemed to vanish into Ollie's ear, and Stan blew so hard to get it out that he nearly broke his pal's ear-drum. That night, when the hotel had gone to rest, Oliver, accompanied by his squire, set out to serenade his lady. Ollie had some poetry and a bouquet of flowers, whilst Stanley was armed with a musical instrument of the trumpet species known as a tuba. Outside Anna's window they stopped, and Ollie nudged his friend. Stan took a deep breath, and a raucous sound shattered the night. Stan took another breath and tried one of the stops, and that produced a shrill screech. But after a while he got better and managed a sort of bugle call. A window opened and there was Anna. "What are you doing here?"' Ollie giggled and held out the flowers. " Thank you." "He's got something to tell you, too. Haven't you?" encouraged Stan, as Ollie seemed tongue-tied. "' If you love me like I love you, I'd love you better than Irish stew,' " read Ollie from his piece of paper. " Thank you. Your poetry is most touching." Anna giggled. "I wonder if you'd give me a—a " Ollie floundered. "Yes?" encouraged Anna. "A chance to take you to the Alpen- fest to-morrow." "The Alpenfest?" "It's going to be a big holiday," ex- plained Stan. "Yeah, and all the countryside gathers here for merry-making," Ollie added. "There'll be gipsy fortune- telling, dancing and singing." " Tt gives me an idea!" cried Anna. " Will you help me?" "I'd do anything in the world for you," promised Ollie. " Then meet me here to-morrow morn- ing at sunrise and I'll tell you my plan." She blew a kiss to them both. "Good- night." When the window had closed Stan nudged his love-struck friend. "We forgot to serenade her." "Let's do it now." Stan blew on the tuba valiantly, and Ollie managed some words of a song Every Tuesday called "Let me call you sweetheart." Now the chef had the bed-room above Anna's, and this noise woke him up. He looked out, saw the serenaders, and damped their enthusiasm by pouring a pitcher of water over them. "You dumbbells!" he snarled at them. "What are you playing music for at this hour?" "Why, we're serenading," Stan ex- plained in his simple way. "Serenading who?" the chef de- manded. "His sweetheart," said Stan. "You know, Anna, the new chambermaid. He's in love with her. Look at the silly, sloppy look on his face." "Well, let me tell you something." The chef shook the pitcher in a threaten- ing manner. "I want you to know th.it you're wasting your time as Anna is in love with me. She's my girl. If I catch either of you two talking to her again I'll skin you both alive!" Damply they gazed upwards at his fierce face. "Anna isn't your girl," began Ollie. "Why " "Get out!" raged the chef. "If you haven't gone in two seconds I'll come out after you." Stan and Ollie decided that it would be better if they got back to their quarters, which was the attic over a disused stable. On the morrow the Alpenfest was held in the courtyard of the hotel, and every- body in the locality was there to sing and make merry. Our two friends had risen at the crack of dawn, and the chef who had come to inform them that if they imagined it was a holiday for them they were mistaken was livid to find their beds empty. He informed Luigi. who said he hoped he never saw those two again because everything seemed to be going wrong since they had shown up. His bill for crockery was going to be enormous. They had met Anna at the appointed place, and they had sneaked off to tho village. The girl had made all her plans. They were surprised that this chambermaid should have so much money—they had thought she was almost as poor as themselves. She got some picturesque gipsy outfits for her two cavaliers and would not let them wear their dreadful bowlers. They bought false moustaches to complete tho disguise. Anna was dressed up as a fortune-teller, and she kept a thin gauze veil over her face. They hired the best caravan. Stan and Ollie were on the driver's seat, and Anna stood in a little doorway behind them. She looked all mysterious- Her escort fingered their moustaches and kept an eye open for the chef. "Do you think they'll recognise us?" whispered Stan. " Why even your own brother wouldn't know you." "But I haven't got a brother." Ollie frowned. "Well, the brother that you haven't got wouldn't even know you." "Don't worry, boys," Anna told them. " And if you are discovered they i do anything to you." "Certainly not." agreed Ollie. "Remember what the chef said." mumbled Stan. "He threatened to skin us alive.*' "Stop worrying, boys!'* cried Anna. " Please go ahead." The caravan proceeded slowly up the hill, and arrived at the courtyard just after a spectacular flag dance Tho crowd of people made way for the mysterious caravan. Ollie reined in the horse, and solemnly raided his arms. (Continaed on page S3)