We use Optical Character Recognition (OCR) during our scanning and processing workflow to make the content of each page searchable. You can view the automatically generated text below as well as copy and paste individual pieces of text to quote in your own work.
Text recognition is never 100% accurate. Many parts of the scanned page may not be reflected in the OCR text output, including: images, page layout, certain fonts or handwriting.
£fSV"
?
TELL HIM NOW
If with pleasure you are viewing any work a man is doing,
If you like him or you love him, tell him now;
Don’t withhold your approbation ’til the person makes oration
As he lies with snowy lilies o’er his brow;
For no matter how you shout it, he won’t really care about it;
He won’t know how many tear drops you have shed;
If you think some praise is due him, now’s the time to slip it to him,
For he cannot read his tombstone when he’s dead!
If she wants chocolates — Feeder
If she sings inharmoniously — Tuner
If she is out of town — Telegrapher
If she is a poor cook — Discharger
If she is too fat — Reducer
If she is wrong — Rectifier
If she gossips too much — Regulator
If she becomes upset — Reverser
If she wants a new dress — Juss watt her.
(Anonymous)
CYCLE OF A JOKE
More than fame and more than money is the comment kind and sunny,
And the hearty warm approval of a friend;
For it gives to life a savor, and it makes you stronger, braver,
And it gives you heart and spirit to the end;
If he earns your praise, bestow it; if you like him, let him know it;
Let the words of true encouragement be said;
Do not wait till life is over and he’s underneath the clover,
For he cannot read his tombstone when he’s dead!
Birth: A freshman thinks it up and laughs aloud, waking up two fraternity men in back row.
Age — Five minutes: Freshman tells it to a senior, who answers: “It’s funny, but I’ve heard it before.”
Age — One day: Senior turns it in to college magazine as his own.
Age — Two days: Editor thinks it’s terrible.
Age — Ten days: Editor has to fill magazine so joke is printed.
(Anonymous)
Age — One month : Thirteen college comics reprint it. Age — Three years : Magazine reprints the joke in “Light¬ er Vein.”
HANDLING WOMEN ELECTRICALLY
If she talks too long — Interrupter If she wants to be an angel — Transformer If she is picking your pockets — Detector If she will receive you half way — Receiver If she gets too excited — Controller If she goes up in the air — Condenser
Age — Ten years: Seventy-six radio comedians discover it simultaneously, tell it accompanied by howls of mirth from the boys in the orchestra. ($5 a howl.)
Age — One hundred years: Professor starts telling it in class.
Age — One hundred one years: It’s reprinted again, then used on the Breakfast Club.
Page 55