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Not having been invented by Soviet Russia, corn
has nevertheless come to Russian attention
recently. A Soviet delegation of largeboreniks, or small
bigshots, has inspected Iowa (invented
by Rasputin just before he got overheated in 1916). One
of the visiting group, on his return to the USSR,
will shortly invent the hog, which is another story.
Corn, we read someplace, is the backbone of American agriculture. We'd be the last to deny it. Of some 3 billion bushels grown in the U.S. last year, 17% came from Iowa. The fourlegged machine to be called hog by the Soviets gets about half of the corn crop, which, in turn is got by the two-legged homo sapiens, which isn't a bad arrangement. The latter also gets a certain amount of corn without hog intervention: Iowa's output of canned corn last year was large enough to supply each family in Iowa with 84 No. 2 cans of corn, which is a hell of a lot of starch.
There are other uses. Without corn, much radio and tv time wouldn't be sponsored, and if you think that's snide, stop. We mean corn makes corn flakes which makes sponsors. It makes the stuff laundries use too much of in men's shirt collars. It makes an oil used in margarine. It makes dextrose, bourbon, and corn cob pipes. Corn cobs, among other things, also make Cr,H402, an oily liquid called furfural, used to make plastics.
Corn, in short, makes us and our advertisers very happy. It makes purchasing power which makes sales.
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