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middle of one of those long flashes, took one look at the floodlighted coal-yard, closed my eyes quickly again before the flash ended, and kept them closed. I fully realised that the world had come to an end — and that my mother and father were out!
People seldom understand what dreadful things happen to children. They say a coward dies a thousand deaths. I died a dozen before I was ten years old. My father, among other things, was a popular scientific lecturer. He had one lecture on electricity. It was a simple lecture, for electricity in those days was a simple thing. The lecture needed a number of simple experiments and he carried a battery of two or three bichromate cells. Bichromate of potash is a considerable poison. He made up a saturated solution, mixed it with a proportion of sulphuric acid and kept it in old wine bottles. I strolled into his den one afternoon when he had gone to lecture, found a wine bottle apparently with a heel-tap of wine still in it and tipped it straight into my mouth. I tasted the acid and knew instantly what I had done. I knew that I was bound to die in a very little while. But do you think I said anything about it? Not a word. I just waited for the end. This was not courage: it was sheer cowardice; I didn't want to get into a row. I was very violently sick and that, no doubt, saved my life. One of my bilious attacks, they thought, and I did not tell them about it until many years afterwards.
I tell you these things to show that I was brought up in an atmosphere of moderated science. It probably had its effect upon my future career.
Once when Uncle Wheldon had been to see us he gave me a half-crown. A huge sum; the first half-crown I had ever seen. Then from the half-landing overlooking our back yard, my parents spotted a hole in the ground filled with water. Charged with this misdemeanour I promptly lied and said T never!' The lie was brought home to me and my half-crown was confiscated. It was an awful punishment. It cramped my career for the rest of my life, for I have never been a good liar since. This is a severe handicap in trade — even in the film trade. Also the half-crown has never been given back to me!
As I lay awake in my cot one night, in the subdued light of the nursery, I looked up at the wall just above my head and saw a black mark which I instantly said to myself might be a black beetle. Of course I knew it was nothing of the kind, but it gave me a nasty turn because if it had been a beetle, it was just where it
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