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modern drapery which flies up solid into the roof), side wings, gas footlights — by rubber tube from the burner over the mantelpiece —and a very moderate store of home-made scenery which, Shakespeare-like, 'played many parts.' The curtain and scenery were painted on unbleached calico at a penny three-farthings a yard, and the whole outfit could be taken down in a few minutes and stored away, according to parental decree.
Our repertory varied from nursery stories to such little things as Macbeth — in which Dorothy played Lady to my lead and Effie had the whole of the rest of the cast to herself. Imagine the effect upon grown-ups of hearing a little girl of five lisping the immortal lines: —
*I have given suck and know how tender 'tis To love the babe that milks me '
I am told I was a fierce stage-manager, insisting upon letter perfection and strict attention to detail. Those who worked with me in later years were inclined to make the same complaint.
Alternating with the theatrical phase there was a deeply religious period in which Church took the place of stage and I, as parson, read all the prayers of the English Church service and insisted upon the correct responses in the proper places. We spent very many hours upon our knees. My sisters especially disliked the litany, but as that was my favourite they had to go through with it.
As a kind of moral (not too moral) background to all this there was the deadly governess period. The poor, wretched governesses came one at a time, saw, and were conquered. It was our part, not deliberately conceived but tacitly understood and immediately adopted, to make their lives miserable and get rid of them as quickly as possible. I remember one incident which, though far worse than the others, was typical of all of them. The victim was a poor old thing of uncertain age, poor health and very weak eyes. Gentle and helpless she was, yet in some now forgotten way she incurred our relentless wrath. It was I who invented and carried out the diabolical scheme of revenge which put an end to her regime and gained me a thoroughly deserved thrashing.
I stole up to her room when she was out and painted a deep ring of non-drying coal-tar all round the top edge of a private but humble article of bedroom furniture.
After that, the deluge! I was seated by my father at his study
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