Camera (May 1922-April 1923)

Page Six "The Digest of the Motion Picture Industry" CAMERA I WHEN THE CASTING DIRECTOR ISNT Translated from tKe CKinese By AL MARTIN The hotel that I live in is mainly inhabited by motion picture folks. Not the stars, of course, but the ones that think they should be. The other evening the boys sugKested a game of penny-ante poker. Twenty minutes later someone suggested the penny be discontinued, and another twenty minutes later someone else suggested raising the ante. After a while, which was later than the two laters I referred to in the proceeding sentence, I ran out of money. Naturally it being a gentlemen's game no one would accept my I. O. U., so I was through. As I was going to bed talking to myself, I wondered where I was going to promote 15c for breakfast, and, as I wondered, the door was opened by an ex-friend of mine who stood in the doorway. This fellow used to be a very good friend of mine until he borrowed some money from me, therefore from that time on I always referred to him as an Ex. Naturally I asked him to come in, which he did, and without a moment's hesitation or giving me a chance to hold my breath he said, "Here's the five I owe you." Thinking the world was coming to an end, and in my delirium, w-hich set in quickly, I told him to get me some poison. I am not particularly fond of poison, in fact I never drank any up to date, but my delirium wanted it, and so to humor me, he made his exit as I had asked him to do. Ho returned quite soon with a bottle in one of his hands, but I could tell from the expression on his face that he didn't get what I wanted. Misfortune is liable to come to anybody, so I always said that if I ever get married I would see to it that my wife never got any deliriums, for it's hard to fool people with these things, and it's also hard for me to tell the truth sometimes. Well, anyhow, he was still standing there with the bottle in his hand, and after I asked him, he told me that he couldn't get any recognized poison, but managed to get some bootleg whiskey which was just as good. Not knowing the diflerence I drank from the bottle which he gave me, and everything went blank, until — The next thing I remember I was on a lonely road and a man drove up to me in an automobile, and asked me if I wanted a lift. I answered his question by getting in the car, and he at once started to apologize for the gloomy weather we were having, saying that this was the first time in 27 years the weather was as is, so I realized that I was still in Southern California. At a small town we stopped for gasoline, and as the car was getting a drink, a hobo came up to me and asked for money. When anyone asks for money I get very hard of hearing, so he went to my friend and asked him. My friend in answ'er looked him up and down, just as though he was going to buy the suit of clothes the hobo had on, and finally said: "Nothing doing today, have you got a dress suit?" This meant nothing to the hobo, but to me it did, for I not only recognized his speech as being that of a casting director, but I recognized him as being Steve Gentle, the casting director I had been trying to see for so long. Ae we were on our way once again I was thrilled to think of being in the same car with a man capable of holding such a responsible position, (iuessing his extreme intelligence 1 felt at liberty to discuss affairs of international importance and other things I knew nothing about. Now that 1 had met him socially he surely ought to give me work in his company. How 1 wished that 1 were of the fair sex, so that 1 might vamp him, and once 1 could get him in my power, I would see tliat he would give me work. It is unusual for girls seeking parts or semi-parts to make over the casting king, so I thought that if I were a girl (you realize that I am stretching my imagination at this point) I would smile sweetly at him and that would start things going. Then he w-ould ask nie to dinner, and 1 would tell him how badly 1 wanted to work in moving pictures, how far from home, and how lonesome I was. Even a casting director would feel sorry for me after I had "done my stuff" and then after 1 had had niy opportunity to show how good I was in front of the camera, making a reputation AL MARTIN as a star, I would refuse the casting director's offer of marriage. Not being of the fair sex I would have to work my plans from a different angle, but I figured I would be nice to him, and smile on him as if I were what I am not. He then told a joke which was a fairly good one, in fact 1 have always liked it. I thought this was a good place to show him how clever I thought he was, as it always makes a hit with brilliant men to know they are appreciated. He went on with his story, and when he came to the place to laugh, I laughed my sweetest. I expected him to admire my smile, possibly compare it with Ruddy "Valentino's, but instead of that, he discovered many of my teeth were missing. 1 then told him I was an actor and of my ambitions both of which surprised him. When we neared Hollywood he suggested that I see him in the morning, and stopping the car to let me off, 1 told him that if I could arrange my business satisfactorily 1 would try to get out to the studio. Of course, I had no business to take care of, but it is best to make these casting directors think you are busy. However, I am not so sure Mr. Gentle believed this "gag," but it is the customary line to hand out, and I must be customary. When I returned to my hotel, the boys all listened to' the story of my meeting with his "nibs" and even when they laughed I knew they were jealous, especially when I told them how he begged me to accept the lead in a new picture. I then exchanged my hat with a fellow for a larger one, and told the boys what I would do for them when 1 became famous. The morning came at last and it found me at the studio waiting for the telephone girl to come in, so she could announce me to the chief. She came at last, I recognizing her by the way she chewed her gum. After she dismissed her chauffeur, and put on her make-up, she got connected with her switchboard and started operations. I planned right then that she should be fired as soon as 1 could arrange it, and 1 laughed to myself, W'hen I thought of the expression on her face when I could tell her. As I was laughing to myself, she jumped at me with the following remarks, "No! you can't see him." "He w'ill not see anyone." "The cast is all filled," and finally, "Who did you want to see?" As she stopped for air I explained by signs and speech that Mr. Steve Gentle asked me to please see him, and would she kindly tell him that I was here. She excused herself and left me alone, but I wasn't alone long, 'cause she came right back and told me they v.-eren't going to do the ball-room scene until tlie next day, and if I wished I could come back in the morning. I had a lot of explaining to do that evening to the boys as to why I didn't start working, and not only that evening, but every evening for the next two weeks, as the telephone girl gave me the same story each day. Finally, one day, I was walking in the studio and was just going up to the telephone girl, when Mr. Gentle himself came out of his office and rushed over to me, grabbed me by the hand, telling me how glad he was to see me. As he was doing all the talking, it gave me the opportunity to look over at the phone girl to see if she saw what a w'onderful reception I was receiving. I then told him how many times I had been to see him, and that the girl always mentioned something about a ball-room scene. He explained that he did have something for me In that set, although it was only a small part, but on second thought he figured I was better fitted for star parts. He kept on talking about what a wonderful future I had in motion pictures, what a Kood type I was to play opposite Mary Pickford, and many other nice things. As he talked I listened naturally, and although he told me many things I already knew, I hoped he wouldn't stop. I had visions of a nice fat contract, plenty of fan mail, but mainly my return to the hotel where I could give the boys good advice, so that they could become successful. As I was visioning, a man came out of Continued on Page 22