The Canadian Motion Picture Exhibitor (Aug 1, 1941)

August lst, 1941 CINEMA BUNS fics sus If you have any news of munitions— Keep it dark! Ships or planes or troop positions— Keep it dark! Lives are lost through conversation, Here’s a tip for the duration, When you've private information— Keep it dark! Newest quip: Hitler is having stomach trouble. He can’t get Russian oil. * Ba * * * A manufacturer got this letter from his salesman in western Canada: “I didn’t get any orders because the other boys got here first. However, I got promises for next season. Send cheque.” The boss replied: “The bank won't give me any money because the others got there ahead of me. However, the manager promised me money for next season. You’re fired. P.S.: Don’t find cheque.” * * % # * Poker verbiage: “If you can’t raise, don’t call.” ... Incidentally, the chances of drawing a straight flush are 1 in 62,000 ... Sense about drinking from an old bartender: “One drink is all right, two is too many, three isn’t enough.” Definition of triumph: “Lots of try and plenty of umph!” Ra SEAEET aCe Siac Around and about is the gag about the man who took up horseback riding by order of his doctor. He went to the stables and rented a mild-mannered broken-down old plug. After a while he stopped and dismounted. Suddenly the horse was speaking to him. Yes, speaking to him. He could hardly believe his ears. “To look at me,” said the horse, “you wouldn’t think that I had been one of the greatest nacehorses in history, would you? Why, I won over a million in purses. And look at me_ now. Who’d think that I won the Kentucky Derby four times!” ‘The man mounted and _ rode back. He greeted the horse’s owner excitedly. ‘“‘How much for that nag?” he asked. ‘$500? $1,000? Name your own price!” “Say,” the owner drawled, “he hasn’t been giving you that line of bull about winning the Ken tucky Derby four times, has he?” A nut was painting the ceiling of his cell when another entered. “Have you got a good strong hold on that brush?’ asked the second. “Sure,” answered the first. “Then hang on tight,” continued the second. “I’m taking the ladder away.” There’s a _ louholtzian story about an exhibitor who came home after a hard day in front of the Film Exchange Building. His wife was reading the paper and didn’t look up. He offered ia few remarks but she didn’t even nod her head. “A fine thing,’ he screamed. “I come home after a hard day of work and worry and you don’t even ask how things went today. Why don’t you give me the common courtesy of even asking?” “All right, all right,’’ said the wife. “I’ll ask. How did things go today ?” “Tsk, tsk, tsk,’ answered the exhib. ‘Don’t ask!” * * *# * * A tourist stopped off at an Indian reservation to sightsee. He stopped before an Indian and lifted his hand in the traditional salute. “How. White brother bring greeting from great white father. You speakum English?” The Indian looked at him without reply for a minute. Then turned and yelled to another Indian. “Hey, Jake,” he called. “C’mon over here and get a load of this. This guy is good!” * * * * we Here’s a statement from an Or liental paper: “The news of English we tell the latest. Writ in perfect style and most earliest. Do a murder commit we hear of it and tell it. Do a mighty chief die, we publish it, and in borders sombre. Staff has each one been to college, and write like Kipling and the Dickens. We circle every town and extortionate not for advertisements.” * * * * * I hate to be a squealer. I allus long for peace. But the wheel that does the squealing Is the one that gets the grease. —Anon. * * * * * Isn’t it strange that princes and kings, And clowns that caper in sawdust rings, And common folk like you and me Are builders for eternity? To each is given a bag of tools, A shapeless mass and a book of rules; And each must make, e’er life is flown, A stumbling block, or a stepping stone. .—Anonymous, Jimmy Walker, ex-mayor of New York, placed a wreath on the tomb of the German Unknown Soldier in 1931. “And since I didn’t know his race or creed,” he said, “I am wondering if his mother isn’t being stoned in Germany today.” he Exhibitor Hubbard Said A Mouthful! The premium method of merchandising will live as long as trade . . . because it moves with the tides of the human heart . . . ELBERT HUBBARD Our New Deal ‘PEACH BLOSSOM’ --Is Now Ready! And what a deal it is . . . we'll be starting delivery the first week in September ... We'll gladly tell you all about “PEACH BLOSSOM.” PHONE — WIRE — WRITE Canadian Premium Distributors 277 VICTORIA ST. TORONTO Page 7 New U.S. Exhib Body While Canadian independent ex-| ahead. There are two powerful exhibitors are slow in organizing| hibitor associations in the States against industry Cronin the| now and a third is about to spring American -brethren» {Going UP. + artes gy When Replacing That @ e Amplifier— USE ONLY THE WORLD’S FOREMOST THE OPERADIO, MODEL 350 Straight Line Frequency Output. Adjustment on Lows and Highs Record Player and Microphone Connections. Single or Dual Units, 18 Watts each, DC on Exciter Lamps by Rectification. — THE OPERADIO TWO-WAY SPEAKER SYSTEM With Network is also the proper unit to use when modernizing your Speaker units. Operates with any type of system and results are remarkable. And, of course, WEBER SYNCRO-MAGNETIC SOUND HEADS, also world renowned, embody. all the necessary features for the perfect: reproduction of the signal photographed on the Sound track. pSREAE SS 3 panleaky The price is right and the quality is built in. pean, ¢ joer Full information on receipt of a card. COLEMAN ELECTRIC ~ COMPANY 258 VICTORIA ST._ TORONTO, ONT.