Canadian Film Weekly (Dec 18, 1946)

Page 8 Canadia / People Come & People Go... TYPODERMIC INJECTIONS: Reading trade news, the letter J keeps getting in your eyes like cinders on a windy. day. There are J. Arthur Rank, J. Arthur Hirsch, J. Earl Lawson and J. J. Fitzgibbons. I’m Jded, I guess .. . Harry Alexander is wintering in St. Petersburgh, Florida ... On his nights to owl a friend of mine transfers most of his money from his pant pocket to one in his shirt, figuring that it’s safer not to have his X’s in one basket. Last time he did that he forgot to put it back and in the morning, while he was still asleep, his wife tossed the shirt into the washing machine. He just found out there’s pulp in money as well as money in pulp... . That USA marine around town with Arthur Gottlieb is Michael Peskin of New York, who will manage the Ravina rink. A iifetime pal of Arthur’s, he has been in the corps since before the first international set-to and has so many ribbons that it would take Technicolor to do him justice photographically ... Syd Newman, CCO producer, became the father of a baby girl recently and his NFB colleagues one-sheeted the event as “The latest CCO Release, Small Fry” ... Thought: Whatever became of Madge Evans? ... “Do you get the Book of the Month?” a seller asked a feller. “I sure do,” he answered, “and it’s good for eight bottles again’. . . “Actors and burglars work after dark” — Sir Cedric Hardwicke ... “Up to his neck a man is worth only the price of a day’s labor’’ — Mark Hanna... “Principles have no real force except when one is well fed”’—Mark Twain... Percy Smith, B&F booker, is ill . . . Jack McLennan, Capitol, Brockville, was elected an alderman. = = * “WHISKEY,’ THE PROFESSOR told his class, “has a powerful effect on all things. I will demonstrate this for you and expect you will govern your use of it with that fact in mind.” He brought out two tumblers, one filled with water, the cther with whiskey. He dropped a worm into the water and it wriggled. Then he placed one in the whiskey and in an instant it was dead. “Let that be a lesson to all of you,” he said. “From now on you know what to do when you get worms.” Pod = «= = + * TALES OF AN INSIDE WAY: There are dozens of stories which end with the moral, “Always get a receipt.” I just heard about a landlord who got rid of an unwanted tenant by not depositing the rent cheque delivered by the tenant’s wife when he was out of town. She thought the cashed cheque would be as good as a receipt. The landlord held the cheque and tore it up when no enquiries were made for 15 days. He then notified the tenant that, being in arrears, would he please vacate. The closest thing to proof of payment or willingness to pay on time the tenant had was the stub. In the matter of devious dodges, Jim Manchester, manabout-town, told me about one at the fights recently. Jim has a special interest in fights and he brought Tommy Loughran here before the war to battle Hans Berkie. He and I recalled the stilldisputed struggle in the Armories’ ring between Soldier Jones of Toronto, one of the hardest hitters in the world, and the great Harry Greb, one of the cleverest fighters. In the third round Greb got careless and Jones put him down. He was as prone as a planked steak when the bell saved him and in the next round, angered by a slur from Jones, he knocked him cut. But Jones always maintained that the third round had been shortened to save Greb from a knockout. It was done, he said, by a member of Greb’s party who, from a distance, speeded a 50-cent piece at the bell and hit it, ending the round! But there are also shortcuts which can be justified. For instance, this is the time of year when mom is a heel in junior’s eyes if she doesn’t get him those too-expensive toys he saw when ‘visiting Santa in the department store. One wise mother now out smarts junior by going to the store alone and noting the location of the toys she can afford. The next day she brings junior and steers him over that charted and financially-safe course. That way he is sure to get whatever he saw and liked. December 18, 1946 ~. . n FILM WEEKLY ——————__— There’s One Born Every Instant buck boys are busy again and put t vigilant lads in our industry last rt, is in the equipment business. because he would doubtless be int. One morning last week his HE HAD IT: The easy the bite on one of the mos week. This fellow, 2 trusting So He shall go unidentified here benumbed by his name in pr ES pn is Wilbur McStash of the McGoop Theatre, Phumpher Falls,” said the voice. The local lad knew that pa was a a Stash connected with theatres in that ateu and so he a fe his big-size hello. “Say, do me a favor,” continued McStas : : was supposed to be at your place at ten this morning an ; made a date to meet a friend in his car outside at about tha time. Will you tell him for me that I won't be there and for ae to meet me where I’m phoning from, which is the distiller's ? He knows which one. And I’ll be at your place at two o’clock to see out some equipment.” SP ae een saa Ligon one of the window ad saw a man standing beside an automobile. “Okay,” he said, and added some humorous comment about the McStash being at the distiller’s. “Pm here to pick up some imported Scotch at the wholesale price of three dollars per bottle from a friend cf mine,” McStash explained. ‘Imported Scotch at three dollars per bottle!” exclaimed the ‘equipment man, thinking of his Yuletide needs. “Sure,” said the other, “Do you want some?” He did—he would like three. “Then give the man outside ten dollars and tell him what it’s for. I'll bring the Scotch when I come toyour office at two o’clock.” So he gave the man the ten dollars and that was the last he saw of it or the conspirators. Now he feels like an all-time sucker. But he’s telling the story on himself. In fact, he told the boys about it that same morning, having been so convinced that he had made a mistake that he wanted to recover his ten dollars by betting that two o’clock would prove him bilked. It did. * * 4: A SOGGY, FOGGY stew got caught up in ‘a funeral procession and found himself with the mourners at the graveside. ‘Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust,’’ intoned the minister. “Hooray, you got my vote,” shouted the stew. “Nobody could ask for a squarer deal than that!’ Bs * a: PARODY OF JOYCE KILMER’s “Trees” by an unknown author: ‘I think that I shall never see Aught lovely as a pulpwood tree. A tree that grows through sunny noons To furnish sporting page cartoons. A tree whose girth will prove its age Is ample for a want ad page. A tree with grace toward heaven rising, Men macerate for advertising, A tree that lifts its arms and lau h To be made into paragraphs. ae A tree that falls before the saw, A five-star final in the raw. is an Odeon man... A cop who stopped a speeder was surprised to hear him explain, “I’ve only got a li ; itt] lo 4¢. LO a Scat.on before it ran out.” ° Me ans te i *« ws * NOTES OF ‘A TYPOCHONDRIAC erm 4 : Joe i passing through from Boston and New York Saeed in a friends and family here Geor nae ge Hill, just got out of bed after six weeks of cee eee they tell, did himself pro stag and will cause that occasio n : e of industry fun hereabouts . to be memorable in the annals . Joe Krol, famed Argo footballer,