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THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING MOVIES: How long has it been since the film version of Doc Savage was released, a year, two years? A pretty long time, anyway. For all I know, it may be one of the worst pics of the decade. Or one of the best, hard to tell. You see, to the best of knowledge Doc Savage hasn't played in New York City yet. Now, I'm sure it was released because star Ron Ely appeared on the Merv Griffin TV show way back and said so. Another reason I'm sure is because everyone outside New York reading this has probably seen it by now,
This is an example of what we in Fun City have to put up with, in addition to high taxes and risk of life and limb at any given hour of day or night, There seems to be some sort of spastic affliction in the filmbooking system here, whereby some interesting if fatally flawed films get locked out, while a number of screaming horrors not only get played in the local houses, but manage to get held over for two weeks or longer. On the other hand, some hits that start off like blazes are retained for seven, eight weeks and beyond, resulting in a boxoffice veteran struggling into its third month playing to something like an audience of five or so per performance, Not only poor business sense, but a twinge of insanity lurks behind the system.
All right, even granting the unplayed films are dogs, why not let us find out for ourselves, if only for variety's sake? Please, don't do us favors, just take our money. Give us the opportunity to see some of the following lemons of the past couple of seasons:
At Long Last Love, an alleged musical with Burt Reynolds & co,, opened at the Radio City Music Hall, world's largest (6200 seats) house, An aromatic bomb from all reports, When it came time for the subsequent runs, the distributor quickly hid it in some Brooklyn and Bronx joints, letting it quietly drift out with the tide. Here on Staten Island it played one night, as a benefit for Hadassah, presumably booked by the Arabs, Hasn't been seen since.
Also opening at the Music Hall to concerted groans was The Bluebird, hailed as the first RussoAmerican coproduction, a fact apparently likely to contribute to the commencement of World War III. Its neighborhood run was limited to weekend kiddie matinees, which may denote cruelty to children. We'll never know,
Liz Taylor, of aforesaid Bluebird, also had one in release entitled The Driver's Seat, produced in Italy. Or England, Or Yugoslavia, Not sure, never opened here. United Artists released two this summer, Vigilante Force and Trackdown, Names like Kris Kristofferson, Jan Michael Vincent, Jim Mitchum, Bernadette Peters... played together in one flea pit, but no other dates to date, And they holler about a product shortage. An MGM thriller, Nightmare Honeymoon, has been around almost four years, played around some, But it's never been shown to the critics, much less NY audiences, Are they mad at us?